Sleeping on the Job

For years, I have been a stay-home mommy. You know what the joy of being the stay-home mommy is? Constant assumptions and judgement.
Oh, no, wait, that’s the joy of being a woman.
Oh, no, I mean, the joy of being a human.

For years, society has valued my husband’s jobs. I have also valued my husband’s jobs. But he has also valued my jobs AT HOME.
Crazy, huh?

sleep7My house never looked like that. Looking back, I should have let it, because anxiety…
My whole life, and especially since I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder, I have been one of napping’s biggest fans. I need a lot of sleep to feel good. As a child, my mother called me Beeping Sleauty. I can go and go and go, for surprisingly long times, but when I crash, I crash hard. (Often even getting sick)

For years and years, I’ve alternated charging through the house like a cleaning and appeasing tornado or being in deep sleep, always with the sweat pants and the crazy bun.
People would ask, “Are you depressed?”
“I don’t think so…”
“Well you don’t seem yourself. Have you been getting enough sleep?”
I would just laugh and laugh and laugh.

Colic? The Mister slept through it.
Wet beds? The Mister slept through it.
Fevers? The Mister slept through it.
Bad dreams? The Mister slept through it.
Lost teddy bears? Pacifiers? Favorite Bakugan? The Mister slept through it.
Croup? The Mister slept through it.

sleep1

He can sleep just about whenever he wants. Almost seemingly involuntarily.

One thing I’ve noticed, since he’s home most of the weekdays, is that he doesn’t view his time at home as work.
Now, that is crazy to people who work at home!

I do my things, and he does his things. We run some errands, we have some lunch, and he asks, almost every day, “Where has the time gone?”
I just laugh.
I do all these sort of domestic tasks and he doesn’t. And while I do my domestic tasks, he plays on the computer, or watches a movie, or plays a video game, or whatever.
Because he works.
You can read about that, and how that doesn’t bother me, in The Sammich Blog. He will, with enough reminding, mend the fence, re-hang a door, or assemble furniture. I mean, he’s a swell guy, but he’s still a guy, y’all.

But this isn’t a post about the division of labor: This is a post about SLEEP.

At least once a week, The Mister gets up with the girls and lets me sleep in.
At least once a week, I let him sleep in.

Sometimes, I take a nap. But to be fair, I’m usually too busy throughout the day to have a nap. If I want a nap, I merely declare I’m having a nap, and that’s that. Same for him. Although, *whispers* he doesn’t seem to know when he wants a nap, but rather, the nap falls upon him.
No matter what, he sleeps more than I do, because he can sleep through anything, and he can fall asleep just by blinking.
>blink<
>omg,  my eyelids are too heavy to open again<
>sleep<

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A lot of men seem to do this falling asleep suddenly, without warning, thing. Mine even talks while he’s sleeping.
“Have you seen the purple monkeys in the trees, Baby?”
“Yep.”
“Isn’t that nice?”
“Yep.”
“What do you think the environmental impact will be, when people discover we have purple monkeys in our trees?”
“I dunno.”
Seriously. While he sleeps.
“You asleep?”
“Nope.”
>snooooore<

Men don’t need a reason to sleep. They just do.

I have countless pictures of The Mister napping with our babies.

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This one isn’t even our baby, but it doesn’t matter, because holding a warm body of any sort will put The Mister to sleep within seconds. Sitting up, in an uncomfortable chair, leaning against a wall, in broad daylight.

Holiday get-togethers? Men sleeping.
Kids birthday parties? Men sleeping.
Rainy Saturday afternoons? Men sleeping.
Park benches? Men sleeping.

Okay, okay, that last one was a bit much…

But! Tell me you haven’t noticed that women seem to need a reason to nap. Like, being tired isn’t enough. It’s like women need permission to rest. I see it all over social media. And I don’t just mean stay-home mommies, or mommies even. I mean women.

“I’ve just been in labor for 81 hours, so I think I’ll try to catch some Z’s now.”
“I was up til 3 putting these reports together, so I’m taking the afternoon off to rest up.”
“I was up all night with the baby, and he’s sleeping now, so I need to go lie down.”
“They say sleep while the baby sleeps, so I’m headed back to bed.”
“I’ve worked 6 days straight, so I deserve a beer on my patio, and maybe even a nap!”
“I’m still sick. I need to go back to bed.”
“It’s a gray and rainy day, and all my work is done, so I’m taking a nap!”

I hear you, women, and I will always support your need to sleep! I don’t care if it’s because you didn’t get good rest on accounta one pea under your mattress — If you’re tired, sleep!
You will feel better, you will look better, and doctors agree, you’ll even live longer!

Stay-home mommies reportedly wear pajamas and sleep all day.
Oh how I wish.
Many times, I just wish I could sleep. Fall asleep, stay asleep…

Truth: When The Mister is doing the stay-home daddy thing, he naps.
Truth? He’s doin it right. 

Because if you’re tired, Sleep!
You don’t need a reason to justify your sleep!
You deserve sleep!
I don’t care if your nap wore you out, and you need a nap to recover from your nap, Sleep!
And because waking those crazy little sprites at 6am, and getting them out of the house, careening through rush hour traffic before the bell rings, and then having nearly seven hours to yourself all day is completely exhausting, even if you don’t cook, clean or run errands. (Not that we would know what that’s like!)

sleep6

Stay tuned for the next post (not really) where I tell you how he drives them to school in his house pants without even shaving! (yes, really!)

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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9 Responses to Sleeping on the Job

  1. meANXIETYme says:

    OMG you almost have my life. Only you have kids. But the sleep thing? Yeah, I have trouble sleeping…but unlike you, I can’t nap. It’s like ingrained in my head that I can’t sleep during the day. Hub? He falls asleep everywhere. At every time. Without effort. Like, in the middle of a conversation. AND HE TALKS IN HIS SLEEP, TOO! I mean, what the heck IS that? Like the only time I should be sleeping and he’s talking to me in his sleep, keeping me awake! (And snoring. Loudly.) WTH?

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    • They are legion! LOL
      I love a good nap! But I can’t just lay down. It’s a process. Get comfy, lie down, pee, lie back down, wiggle, relax..takes about 30 minutes to get to sleep at nap time. BUT, right before the kids are due to come home, I sure am sleepy! Murphy’s Law!
      I envy our husbands!

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  2. words4jp says:

    I cannot nap. You are right – men are nappers. My last two exes were nappers. I have always wished…..dang, now I wish I could just sleep.

    Like

  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    Nothing much beats a nap. Thirty minutes is all I need. You’ll be happy to learn those naps come much easier when your kids get older. Plus, my kids know very well that it’s best not to pester Mama when she needs a nap. 😉

    Like

  4. Sherry says:

    I take a nap maybe once a week. My husband can nod off simply by dropping his head back. It is a strange gender based thing I fear. I don’t like naps much. I wake up groggy, and feel like I’ve wasted time. Not that I don’t have other ways to waste time. So go figure.

    Like

  5. Matt Roberts says:

    It used to annoy me when my dad would come to visit, and it would be the middle of the day, and I’d put a movie in for us to watch and within a half hour he’d be asleep. It used to annoy me when I’d go to visit my mom and step dad and I’d take a movie for us to watch and half hour into it the step dad would be asleep.

    I’m doing that now. I don’t get it and I hate it. I could be wide awake and BAM! Ten minutes in front of the TV and I would be out. Even my wife lately has been mad at me, telling me she would love to watch a movie with me but she knows I’ll fall asleep. When we play video games together, I’ll fall asleep. The other night I was watching The Waterboy by myself. Haven’t seen it in years. I was having a good time. I got all the way to the end of the movie where his mom brings him to the big game on the hovercraft. The next thing I know it’s an hour later and something else is on TV.

    I hate it. I don’t know how to fix it, but I hate it. I wish I didn’t do it and unless I know how to fix it, it’s only going to get worse. Crap, I’m only 34!

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