Name the Meat and Drink the Wine

When I was a very small child, maybe three or four years old, I saw new piglets for the first time. They were all cute, soft, and warm. I had to grab up each and every one to hold and pet. I picked a favorite, and I wanted to name him.

“His name is Sunday Dinner.”
That’s when my young mind made the connection that meat is the result of animal death.

I’m okay with that.

At our house, I’ve never had newly-born piglets to show my kids, but they’ve been educated about these matters.
Consequently, around age five, Sassy started to name every bird we eat. I presume she only names the birds because, well, they’re bought nearly whole, and they look like what they are, as opposed to sausage or steak.
Every bird that goes into my oven has been named.
Moo copied her, so sometimes Moo names the birds, too.

The other night, while we ate twin hens named Liv and Maddie, Sassy brought up that she gets to name the Thanksgiving turkey this year, because Moo did it last year. I told her we’re having Thanksgiving at Mamaw’s, so she’ll need to tell Mamaw it’s her turn to name the turkey.

Sassy called Mamaw, who did not understand a lick of what she was talking about, so The Mister had to take the phone and explain.
“I don’t know, Mama…Because it helps them understand where their food comes from…It puts value on the animal…No, I guess it doesn’t make sense…You don’t need to understand it…It’s a tradition, Mama.”

And that’s how we found out that for Thanksgiving, we’re not having a bird. MIL is just baking two turkey breasts.

Having not had Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family since 2006, I was very much looking forward to a lovely holiday meal at Mamaw’s giant table. I asked for this.

As it turns out, Drew and the boys can’t come BECAUSE FUCKING PEOPLE FUCKING SHOP ON FUCKING THANKSGIVING DAY, we’re having turkey breasts instead of a bird, and Hello! it’s Mamaw’s house, so there will be no wine!

Until I get home. Oh, until I get home.


No, my Thanksgiving is not ruined. I’ve far too much to be thankful for. But oh the w(h)ine.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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16 Responses to Name the Meat and Drink the Wine

  1. LindaGHill says:

    …some people name their breasts I’ve heard….


  2. A few years ago, now that I think about it, we had a smoked turkey breast for Thanksgiving at my wife’s grandma’s house. She lived in a double wide trailer, but we were allowed to drink. I don’t recall that Thanksgiving sucking at all because there was no whole bird so there’s hope for you. They really won’t let you drink at all? That fascinates me.


  3. Jewels says:

    With our family numbers dwindling down here, and only two of us being meat eaters we’re just having turkey breasts this year as well. It’s not the same, but what can ya do? Wait, I know… drink more wine! πŸ˜‰ Hope you and yours enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving Joey! β™₯


  4. Sherry says:

    Boy I hear ya..I’m a stickler for certain traditions. Though we often switch between duck, turkey, goose, we ALWAYS have one or the other for Thanksgiving. And I’ve admittedly improved the sides a lot, but dressing and mashed taters and gravy are ESSENTIAL. I made some cranberry jelly this year, but cranberries are essential. And I love the idea of naming your food. I too totally don’t want to friendly up with that which I eat, but that pertains to it being alive. We raised some hogs one year, and one of them went in our freezer, but I avoided getting to “know” them. I fed them as needed and chased them when they worked their way out of the pen, but I left it at that. NO wine? That is just not right girl…not right at all. And shopping on Thanksgiving is so wrong–just think of those who must work? It’s so totally not fair. The fuckin’ owners are certainly sitting on their posh asses at home. You can be sure of that.


    • Yes, Drew works retail, which is now open ON THANKSGIVING! I’m sure she’ll make a pile of money, but I know she’d rather not. 😦
      I like the sides, too — especially fond of cranberries myself πŸ™‚


  5. lisajsmi says:

    I, for one, do not shop on Thanksgiving…never will. I hate that anyone is forced to work for something as inconsequential as shopping. I understand working at hospitals and taking care of the elderly…that requires 24 hours but SHOPPING!!!! Give me a break. May be why I can’t stand WalMart. So, if there are two turkey breasts…they can be named! Haven’t men been naming women’s breasts for years? Hell, I know a few women who have named the girls.
    I am making the homemade applesauce again this year…love the taste and I was volunteered. I am taking it as a compliment. Enjoy your Thanksgiving…so sad not everyone can be there…SHOPPING??? REALLY??? What is up with the world we live in. Blessings to all! =)


    • Mmm, homemade applesauce! I haven’t made any in a long time, and was thinking about it last month, but never got around to it!
      Yes, Sassy will name the breasts!

      I hope you enjoy your turkey day!


  6. On Thanksgiving Day, big box stores are not allowed to be open in Massachusetts. But it doesn’t stop the fucking morons to go shopping in New Hampshire, which is a hop, skip and jump from where I live….


  7. Aussa Lorens says:

    That’s amazing that the kids name your dinner– my niece tonight saw the leftover carcass of our turkey and was like “ew! that’s a lot of bones!” so I explained to her that the turkey used to be like the pet chicken she has living in the backyard. She was a little bit more than horrified but hey– maybe it was educational!

    Also, you just have to stock up on that wine for afterwards. My family’s Thanksgiving was today and half of them are teetotallers so there wasn’t any wine– I’ll give you three guesses to what is sitting right next to my laptop right now, but you’ll only need one πŸ˜‰


  8. Matt Roberts says:

    The shopping thing has gotten completely out of control. Completely.


  9. Anxious Mom says:

    Hahaha! My in-laws also did the turkey breast thing. Totally not the same (even though I only eat white meat).

    I remember when LM found out about animals-meat we eat. At first he was upset and said he wasn’t eating meat anymore. “Except bacon. I love bacon. And hamburgers. Never mind.”


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