Now and again, my friends post links to “GoFundMe” for valid reasons.

Well, that’s subjective, isn’t it? Yes, the whole concept is subjective.

How GoFundMe works: Someone needs money for something, so they set up a donation platform, and people can donate to their cause. Because you know, if they have one hundred friends who give them $5, then they have $500 for their cause. That’s groovy, except that some people will ask you to fund their whole lives, and they’ll ask you over and over and over, even posting the link in emails, on social media, and calling to ask if you saw the links, as if the rest of us don’t have things that pop up and cost us money, or like we don’t have unfulfilled desires because of money…

Well, People, We DO.

I will not mention which GoFundMe’s I have seen that strike me as uncouth, because you know, I like my friends to sit around and worry that I think their fundraising subjects are beneath me…
For instance, some of the causes sound like, “In lieu of gifts, the bride and groom request cash.” (Yes, I have seen that, embossed on 100lb paper, no less.)


Anyway, I’ll share my own, which I have only ever ranted about with my pets.

“Go Fund Me, I still have two more kids that need braces!”

“Go Fund Me, I have a hole behind my bathroom mirror!”

“Go Fund Me, I want an extension ladder! and a tree pruner! and a snow blower! and a leaf vacuum!”

“Go Fund Me, my fence is in need of repair and expansion!”

“Go Fund Me, we’d love to be a two-car family!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d like my mortgage paid off!”

“Go Fund Me, the state of Indiana said we OWE!”

“Go Fund Me, we wanna go visit HME next month!”

“Go Fund Me, vehicle registration is expensive!”

“Go Fund Me, I want prescription sunglasses!”

“Go Fund Me, the air conditioning in our van went out AGAIN!”

“Go Fund Me, I wanna buy the lot next door and build a greenhouse!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d like to go to grad school!”

“Go Fund Me, one of the diamonds in my wedding band fell out!”

“Go Fund Me, Sassy needs summer clothes AGAIN!”

“Go Fund Me, I have expensive taste in handbags!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d like to take a pastry course!”

“Go Fund Me, I want new flooring!”

“Go Fund Me, I still haven’t seen Ireland!”

“Go Fund Me, I want The Back 40 tilled!”

“Go Fund Me, my ice maker’s broken!”

“Go Fund Me, I want a deep freeze!”

“Go Fund Me, my apple trees need to be topped!”

“Go Fund Me, plumbing emergencies are outrageously expensive!”

“Go Fund Me, I love caviar!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d rather spend your money than my own!”

If y’all people wanna fund any of that, or just want to pay a fair amount for the snarky laughter I gave you, I’ll be happy to give you my Paypal, just use the Contact Me tab at the top of this blog.
Otherwise, I’ll be forced to sacrifice things and save money, like some kinda fuckin pleb.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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28 Responses to GoFundMYWHOLELIFE

  1. orbthefirst says:

    So…wait. People do that? Like, its a REAL thing? I need a new wheelchair thats not tied to my insurance..hook me up! Its only gonna cost like $2500…

    But yea. People out here have benifits all the time for the dumbest shit. Like the annual “My dad died 5 years ago benifit. Give me money so I can keep his house!”
    And the seemingly ever so present, “I got a DUI, help me pay to get my license back!” benifit.
    I just dont get it.


  2. Dan Antion says:

    Your ice maker is broken? Geeze, I might fund that 🙂 I hate wrestling with those dumbass trays. This was a fun read. Good job.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LobeStir says:

    Thanks for the laugh! So true…and yet, there are certainly some great ideas percolating out there, and I’ve been happy to give a few folks a little kickstart. Now, come to think of it, my icemaker’s been broken for the past 8 years. Maybe I should get the word out.


  4. meANXIETYme says:

    I wish someone would GOFUNDME, too. I got a huge list that I’d love to have taken care of. Ah, what happens to the days of old when you just went out and got yerself a Sugar Daddy?


  5. Aussa Lorens says:

    Yes, this. I find it awkward. Well… some of them. Not all of them (that caveat is for one person I can think of who I am really excited to see their work). I hate– HATE to be badgered to do anything, so if someone starts continuously badgering me for money… ai yai yai. I have a benevolence line worked into my budget but that doesn’t mean I necessarily want to throw it at someone who literally thinks I ought to send $X every single month so they can write without having a job. Really? Why YOU? Argh. If I’m going to pledge money to someone it’s going to be a kid in Togo who needs a school uniform.


  6. meg68 says:

    Oooh! You’ve given me a great idea for some of my desperate single ‘friends’!!
    Do you think this could be a “thing”?
    I don’t think their half naked selfies are working out very well for them after all……


  7. OMG – I’m glad I’m not the only person who hates these. Seriously?! Let me give my hard-earned money so YOU can enjoy your life. Sigh…. but if anyone wants to fund my writing career, I’ll give them advanced snippets of my work. 😉


  8. Deborah says:

    I’d help fund the land for your greenhouse! 😉 But I think you may have created a monster. I’m tempted to create my own list now. haha


  9. Matt Roberts says:

    Well, I’m about to have my gas and electric turned off, and my car repossessed. But I’d never ask for donations for that kind of stuff. I got myself here, and I need to get myself out of it.

    I don’t know if this will post the pic or not, but…


  10. Sherry says:

    I find it a bit unnerving that people are so willing to actively ask for money for non- “matter of life and death” events. I tend not to send money to folks for the normal, “it’s a tight month” issues…we all have them. Budgeting builds character…lol..


  11. OMG. Its true true true. I almost did donate money to one of my “friends” fund me project. But I couldn’t quite do it. It is amazing what catches fire out there though. Some people dare and some people will spare…


  12. I feel horrible asking for money and was hesitant on setting up my GoFund site. In your honest opinion, should I take it down? It’s to help raise money to HELP pay for my medical expenses since I was recently diagnosed with cancer in May 2014. I have insurance, so it’s not entirely being paid for by others and I have a job, so I’m paying some myself as well as paying my insurance. However, I’ve been put on disability for awhile so my paycheck isn’t its full amount and I still have to pay my insurance and support my family of 4 out of it. I also post photos of when the money is transferred to my acct, how much, and photos of confirmation of the bill being paid with the amount matching. Would this be a good reason to have a GoFund acct or not really?


    • I think illness is valid! :O
      It’s the people who want to receive donations for every little thing that drive me crazy!
      I’ve donated for all sorts of things, but not one person’s constant begging — you follow?

      *wishing you well*


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