In Other News

I recently became a grandmother. Sissy and the baby are both well, and for that I am extremely grateful. I am also delighted Sissy gave Sassy’s middle name to her son. He’s beautiful, and I’m not even biased, cause I’ll be the first to tell you that Sissy and Moo were NOT pretty babies. He’s chunky and has blonde wavy hair. The Mottern genes are strong in this one. Beyond that, I’m a bit dazed. I don’t feel particularly grandmotherly, but I guess that’s par for the course when you don’t even feel forty most of the time. I’m already sure I’m the bestest Grandma Joey on the planet, because I aim to spoil him rotten, maybe even worse than I do my nephews.


Like many grandmothers *giggles* I encountered some panic-inducing technical difficulties with my laptop last week. I don’t really know what happened, but it seems better now. My wi-fi wouldn’t work, then I’d get the blue screen of death, then pages wouldn’t load. Tracey thinks my wireless card might be on the fritz, and I’m all like, “I have a wireless card?” I installed a malware destroyer, ran virus scans like mad, and ended up using the Ethernet cable for a few days. It was a dark time, that last Wednesday was. Whew.

Then, the following day, my vacuum cleaner died. I’ve got to take it in for repair. First time in six years, so I’d say I’ve been fortunate, what with all the kids and pets we have. In the meantime, I’ve bought what amounts to a Dustbuster on a stick, and for $20, I can say it helps considerably.

The following day, I lost a sock to the dryer vent.
I was sweeping the muck out of the trap with a little broom, when Whoosh! Sassy’s sock fell into the open trap.
The Mister was able to reclaim the sock, and a house fire was prevented.
When I typed, “sock fell” into Google, “into lint trap” popped up immediately. Beware. Household chores are dangerous.

My apple trees didn’t produce this year. Oh, I prolly got a bowl-full, but since they weren’t pruned in I-dunno-how-long before we bought the house, I sorta expected this. Next year should be productive, with pruning and weaning. I am a bit sad, because I so enjoyed my apple pie extravaganza last fall, but then, this leaves me more time to finish painting the trim in the back hallway. (As if I will everrr…)

The squirrel population is booming around here, which I suppose has led to Mother Nature doing her best to cut it down, sometimes via Sadie and sometimes, by using vehicles. Mother Nature is really into roadkill, right? *scowls* It’s with a heavy heart that I must report —  I have very few familiar squirrels left.

My FIL had his ears flushed. It took several trips to his primary physician and to an ENT, but he can hear again. We’re all so desperately proud of him, we’ve literally applauded him. Yesterday, I remarked that we were in the car together for over a half an hour and I never once had to repeat myself. He’s an excellent role model for my husband and I’m not even gonna pretend that this won’t encourage my loudly nagging The Mister about doing the exact same thing.




When it comes to enrollment and consent forms, I’m always the parent who fills out paperwork. I have good penmanship and I remember everything. Well, almost everything. I’m actually really bad at remembering Sassy and Moo’s birth dates, because there are too many zeros. It’s too hard 10-03-02, 12-04-03 — too many zeros! The older kids are far easier. Because I am the one who filled out the religious education form, I was the one who was asked to choose what I would do to help serve the youth. Since the choices were so scary and I had to choose two, I picked the lesser of many evils, and last night I was emailed to inquire whether I would work in the nursery one or two Sundays a month. I wrote that I would cover one Sunday a month, and then lamented to The Mister about it. “Why don’t YOU go work in the nursery? You love babies.” They’re his children, too. He should hafta do stuff.


Although, prolly not in the nursery, because babies don’t need discipline, and every time he holds one, he falls asleep…
Anyway, I think I’ll bring this ‘woman’s work issue’ up whenever anyone at church gives me the slightest opening.

So it’s been an eventful September over here — how’ve you been?



About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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27 Responses to In Other News

  1. Dan Antion says:

    Wow, I’m tired after just reading that. Congrats on the GM deal, that’s pretty cool. I have to laugh at the notion that having to plug into an Ethernet cable is the new definition of dark times. I remember when UPGRADING to a 2400 baud modem had to be cost justified.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. swo8 says:

    Congratulations! The fun is about to begin.


  3. My first experience with your blog. Definitely a touch of Erma Bombeck in your writing (remember her?). Congrats on the grandkid and be glad you’re not 36 years old the way a woman I used to know was when she became a gramma. Some families is just…fecund.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I do remember Erma, and that’s an outstanding compliment, so thank you 🙂
      I do hope you’ll return to read on a more entertaining day!

      I didn’t plan to be a grandmother at 40, certainly NOT my plan. But it’s her life, so her plans win! LOL — Yes, our family is definitely fecund like whoa!


  4. Do you know you’re a grandmother before I am? I’ll be following your blog religiously looking for all the grandmother tips 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sherry says:

    hmmmm, I am impressed…but can’t get my head off apple pie now…got all these substitutes and making crackers and bread this week end…along with a cake make with quinoa…I am simply gonna COOK all day. I went through more vacuums than I can count…I don’t use one now…my housekeeper cleans the furniture and the one big rug in the library…I don’t know if she ever empties it…I guess I should check…rambling rambling…rain is making me sleepy.


    • We went through a vacuum about every 12-18 months until we bought this one. She was worth every penny. Toddlers, kids, cats, dog — she’s awesome!
      Not that I blame you for hiring a housekeeper! I’m sure she empties it!


  6. Luanne says:

    Congrats on the grandbaby! Loved this update on your life! I’ve lost months this year from household appliances.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. cardamone5 says:

    Congrats on your grandson! That rocks1

    Sorry for your computer and vacuum troubles. As for me, what have I been up to? Well, as you know from my recent posts, too much ruminating, so I vowed last night not to think to much (not a word) and just live. So far, I’ve been more forgetful, but content too. I am writing again, having temporarily banished my doubts to the corner. So far, it’s coming along. I cleaned the front garden, on the hottest day of the year (we had an incredibly mild summer followed by a week of 90+ days.) We said good bye to the pool for another year, which is sad and a relief. A wolf spider almost bit my pool man as he was removing the strainer from the skimmer. I told him that event alone made his fee entirely worth it. Working out, doing laundry, cleaning, filling out school forms, attending school orientations, and enjoying a quiet house.

    Hope all is well.



    • Mmm, yes, the quiet house! Ahhhhh!
      I’m thrilled you’ve worked in your garden, but oh, not on the hottest day of the year! Mine’s a bit neglected, but I can’t even blame the weather right now. I can blame books I think…
      I hate forms! I’m ready to microchip all the humans. I really am. Just zap me and stop asking me to give the same information over and over!
      Don’t like the pool guy, eh? Heh.


  8. Carrie Rubin says:

    A grandmother?! How is that possible? I’ve seen your selfies. But if it really is true, I have no doubt you’ll be one cool grandma!


  9. hollie says:

    Congratulations! Being a grandma has got to be a fun, new experience! Did you make sure she has enough baby blankets? 😉 Sounds like you’ve had an eventful September for sure…hopefully the second half of the month is nice and relaxing!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow, that’s a boatload of update, there, my dear. Congrats to the new addition and the new moniker.

    Very funny about google autofill – it’s like it’s physic or something.

    Have you encountered Bored Shorts TV? Adult actors replaying the stories told by their kids, with the kids voices dubbed in. Very cute. They’ve recently changed it up – kid actors with adult voices dubbed in – the latest reminded me of you and your apple tree

    Liked by 2 people

    • OMG! that was tremendous! No doubt The Mister and I are beginning to sound like that at times. I’m astonished at what length and with what passion we can discuss the weather! “Stingiest tree I ever saw!” Indeed. Thank you for sharing!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Jewels says:

    Congratulations Grandma Joey! 😀


  12. Sammy D. says:

    Awwww you’re gonna just love being a grandmother ‘cuz you already got your “spoil ’em with live” prorities straight!


  13. Sammy D. says:

    No spoil ’em with LOVE!!!

    Frickin’ keyboard…


  14. LindaGHill says:

    You can’t be a grandma! That makes me ancient! Haha!
    Congratulations, my dear. 😀
    You’ve had a very busy time of it! Time to kick back with a glass of wine if you ask me. 🙂


  15. Deborah says:

    Congrats on the grandbaby. I have to admit that is one of the big draws bringing me back to the US next summer. The “not so little” guy will turn 4 in January, and I don’t want to be half a world away while he’s growing up.

    I can’t wait to see what you post as a grandmother! Like everything else you post, it will be awesome, but maybe with a baby photo thrown in here and there. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  16. suzjones says:

    Oh wow. Congrats on the Grandmother role. Being a grandmother is awesome. You get to hug them, play with them, spoil them and then send them back home with their parents!! 😉
    I have always maintained that my grandchildren are my reward for not killing my children when they reached their teens. And it’s karma for them. lol

    Liked by 1 person

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