Untimely Desire

I hate hot weather so much, that when I see the vacation photos my friends post, I actually say, “Antigua? Uck!” “Barbados? Oh how dreadful!” “Bora Bora? You poor thing! You couldn’t pay me to go to Bora Bora!” Okay, I’m sure there’s a price at which I’d agree to go to Bora Bora, but no one’s offering.

what a beautiful place to sweat until my skin scorches...

what a beautiful place to sweat until my skin scorches…

We’ve got several friends who live in Hawaii. Most of them are from Hawaii, and all of them love living there. Of course, I’m like, “Oh that Banyan tree is absolutely majestic! There. In the hotness. Is it me or is that orchid sweating?”

already sunburnt, bless its heart

already sunburnt, bless its heart

In order to visit my mother, I gotta endure South Florida, usually in the summer, if you can fathom my misery. Honestly, if I didn’t want to see half the people I love most, I’d be happy never to cross the Mason-Dixon line again. Is it too much to ask that everyone move north?
Like I need one more stop at the top of Jellico? No, thanks.

oh you know, just drivin in the sky...

oh you know, just drivin into the sky…

Right now, it’s 24 and feels like 17, with a bit of snow on the ground, and that’s perfectly fine with me. It’s a toasty 67 in here, and that’s even better.

gods of fire smile upon us

the gods of fire & furnace smile upon us

But *whispers* in the middle of the winter, there are things I miss about summer.
Fresh local produce. Yes, I miss food from our garden, Oh My Green Tomatoes! All Hail The Tender Carrots! but also, I miss not payin five-thousand dollars for a bowl of fruit originating in Chile. I love apples as much as the next girl, but I long for summer’s fruits. At a reasonable price.

mmm, oh yeah, mmm baby

mmm, oh yeah, mmm baby, yes!

What do you miss about summer? It’s the fruit, right? You don’t miss the heat, right?

This post is part of Just Jot It January, but was inspired by my mother, who had the nerve to talk to me about my plans for the garden this year, leaving me with a watering mouth.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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40 Responses to Untimely Desire

  1. Carrie Rubin says:

    I definitely miss the fruit, but I hate to tell you, I miss the heat, too. No coats necessary. No endless layers. Socks? Who needs ’em? But let’s keep it below ninety degrees. Above that I might get a little cranky…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dan Antion says:

    I do NOT miss the heat. I do miss being able to work in my workshop (unheated) without bundling up to the point where I look like the Michelin Man but I figure I can always add heat to the shop. I once had a consulting engagement that had me flying to Orlando off and on from April to October. Not only was I the only person on the plane not going on vacation, I was wearing a suit!

    Fresh veggies, especially corn, cukes and tomatoes are high on the list of things I miss, but I wouldn’t want to endure heat, humidity and lizards to have them year round. Great post. Stay warm (but not hot).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. meANXIETYme says:

    Appropriately price fruits and veggies, yes. Heat, no. We keep our house at a comfy 64 degrees all year ’round, whether is with the heat or the a/c (my heat bills are so small, but then again my a/c bills are kinda up there…but it all averages out!). My family brings sweaters when they come over for dinner. My mom wears four layers of clothing. I don’t care.
    And when we vacation (not often), we do it over the winter, to beaches and mountains. Makes it difficult to plan (with snow and ice), but I much prefer the temperature (and lack of crowds). I hate heat, I hate sweating, I hate feeling sticky and run-down from the humidity. We don’t travel south. Period.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m dying about the four layers of clothes! Seriously LOLing! When my parents used to snowbird winters, they’d come home around Mother’s Day, and we’d all be wearin shorts and tees and stuff, and my mother would be in cords with a jacket, loafers, and wooly socks! I could just sweat thinkin about it! LOL
      We can never get the schedules to line up for winter vacation or spring break 😦

      Does being hot trigger your anxiety like it does mine?

      Liked by 1 person

      • meANXIETYme says:

        There’s only two of us to schedule for vacation (when it happens), so it’s not a big deal for our schedules. And we don’t go over winter break because it’s too expensive when everyone else is vacationing! LOL But then again, we’ve been on vacation once in the last four years.

        And yes, being hot triggers my anxiety. I sleep with a ceiling fan on high all year round…and even in the winter, I usually start with just a sheet. Sometimes I wake up and have pulled part of our comforter over me, but most times I’m still under just a sheet. I used to LOVE being under a big, heavy comforter at night when I was younger, but I can’t do it anymore. When I go to my parents’ house, I always get hot because their house ranges from 72 degrees to 78 degrees. I pretty much go over there in a tank-top no matter the season, and I wear my long-ish hair UP.
        Being hot also makes my face and ears flush hot, which really jacks up my anxiety.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I cannot bear 78 indoors. Stifling!
          Yes, with the flushing and hotness, yes, I am the same way.
          Ironically, I sleep under two quilts, a cotton weave blanket, and a sheet. I also don’t have any vents open in my bedroom in the winter, and sometimes I crack a window. I sleep cool, apart from the occasional hotflash 😉


          • meANXIETYme says:

            LOL. I close the vent over our bed in the winter and open it wide in the summer. I also really need MOVING air, which is why I always have the ceiling fan going. Woe is the day when it doesn’t work (which has happened often — stupid fan)…I have a backup stand-up fan that goes two feet from my bed to keep the cool air moving over me.
            It’s like my ability to regulate my body temperature is all fucked up when I’m hot. If I get hot, cooling off is really difficult, so I prefer to just STAY cool.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. A toasty 67 degrees? Brrrrr. I miss the heat AND the fresh fruit. Good thing I’m south of that Mason-Dixon line.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I miss the flowers, the beautiful array of colora from the vibrant green of grasses to the brilliant purples, pinks and yellows. I miss flowing dresses, and sitting on my deck where the sun can’t get me enjoying the hum of bees in my gardens, or seeing butterflies or dragonflies dancing through the skies, I miss walking on sidewalks without killing myself due to ice build up, I miss fiery coloured sunrises and sunsets and light in the skies until 11 pm…I like my weather around 20 degrees in summer, any hotter and I hide in shade or air conditioning…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. cardamone5 says:

    I have a love/hate relationship with heat. I LOVE getting tan and sweatign while working in my garden or sitting on my can by the pool, but I also hate how hot my bedroom gets in the summer (the woes of having a big house that is not dual zoned!) I can always add more layers, cuddle up under a blanket, turn on the fire or plug in my heating pad, but I can’t run around my house neckid (my attempt at a southern drawl.) Well, I could and have, but no one likes it when I do. And I absolutely hate being out when its hot and having nowhere to go to cool off. Much prefer the cold outside than the hot. Then again, I love being tan..

    slight schitzophrenic

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL! Oh Fondly Elizabeth! That’s tremendous! I agree completely, can always bundle up, but can never take off enough! (Nekked, btw)
      I’ve had that problem with the bedroom, too, most of my life actually! One of the things we love about our house is northern exposure for our bedroom 🙂
      Thanks for crackin me up! 😀


  7. baldjake70 says:

    When I see those pictures I think, “That is so beautiful! Glad I am not there!” I hate to be hot as well. I also hate the argument regarding dry heat. Like being able to breathe without gaining 10 pounds is a bonus, NOT! So what if my breath is not labored while I burn alive in hell! Let me tell you, I’ve been in the desert and have first hand experience with 140 degree weather and it sucked. I also hated it when it was 120 degrees and I got a chill from a 90 degree breeze. It is not natural I tell you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. spacurious says:

    Absolutely agree about the fruit thing. i made myself a fruit smoothie (to offset all the recent bacon consumed) and it was lackluster. Maybe Walmart isn’t the best place to buy produce.
    I don’t like the heat or the sun. Sweating and getting skin cancer aren’t on my list of things to do.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. LindaGHill says:

    Anything warmer than 78 (that’s a big maximum for me) or colder than 66 and I’m a woosie. In other words, give me spring and fall!
    Having said that, I’d never say no to a Caribbean break in the middle of winter. If I have to live with extremes, make them a week at a time. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  10. SwittersB says:

    Timing is everything in those warmer climes….it must be that feeling of being in a zone of invisible temperature…neither hot nor cold…just perfect.


  11. Sammy D. says:

    Well, Joey, there’s heat and then there’s … Florida !

    Give me heat – dry heat – Colorado heat or Caribbean heat with an ocean breeze and I’m a purring pussy. I LOVE not wearing anything but a tank top and breezy little skirt.

    But I’m with you and Elizabeth on the bedrooms – unheated with window open smothered in a down comforter is my best snooze.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. cindy knoke says:

    hilarious, one person’s paradise is another’s purgatory~

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sherry says:

    see you are missing the other half of the equation. Of course Southern heat is awful, but that’s SOUTHEAST. Go South WEST and it’s all much better. It’s the humidity ya see. Kill the humidity and it’s ever so pleasant in the heat. Seriously, although we do stay indoors during the afternoons, mostly because the sun is so intense..lol…but really it’s way better. I hate humidity, that is the killer for me.


  14. I cant function in too much heat and humid heat sends my pain off so almost grateful for dreary uk weather x

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Jewels says:

    Definitely the fruit! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  16. spacurious says:

    Just bought tasteless expensive produce from the food co-op and thought of you.
    Hey – you brought that shit on yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Yes, it’s the produce. Although living in Portland instead of Milwaukee has helped tremendously, since we are starting to get good stuff already. My husband and I almost fainted when we saw some heirloom tomatoes at the store the other day. 🙂

    Other thing that drives me crazy in the winter is piling on so much freaking clothing all the time. Takes forever to get ready and get undressed.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I miss everything about summer. The humidity is my favorite part. In Winter I feel like I’m turning into jerky, and I itch, itch, itch… the itching never stops! Give me hot and humid and I’m happy. And I miss the long walks with my dog. We don’t do that in this weather, And I miss mowing the lawn… weird, I know, but that hour or so of lawn mowing is the purist solitude I get these days. Oh, and I kinda miss shaving my legs… that shit just doesn’t happen while I’m at risk of actually dying from the constant itching.


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