The Fish Face Laughs No More

If you ask my children, I am the meanest mother in the world for making them wear sunscreen and hats, but especially sunscreen.

While we were in Florida, especially with my parents, I saw many versions of us. You could tell who’d come down to visit their grandmas and papas. Over and over, I saw us. Three generations: the oldest, native, tan, and aglow with love and pride. Their visiting children, pasty, slightly nervous, and desperately seeking shade, water, and/or alcohol. The grandchildren, sporting bright and cheerful clothes and hats, giddy with attention and spoils.

Happiness won’t protect your skin, Little Ones!

Yes, Moo tans, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need sunscreen. I use the spray stuff on her body, but cream for her face.
Everyone gets the special face stuff, because way too much sensitive skin in our family. Skin could be its own blog post, but I’ll spare you.
Sassy is so thin-skinned and fair, she gets chaffed from pool noodles, life vests, or wet socks. I wish I was kidding. She gets this from her father, who wears hats and long-sleeved shirts into the sea. Sassy gets coated like I do. And then re-coated like I do.

On the first day out, Sassy got pink shoulders. And lemme tell you, she complained plenty. And there I was, the wonderful mother I am, “Can you imagine how much pain you’d be in without the sunscreen?!?” She knows.
(Once they’re eight, they know everything. This lasts a decade or so.)
By morning, she was no longer pink.

Moo got pink shoulders on the fourth day, but that only lasted about two hours, and then she became tanner, and none of us were jealous and she didn’t gloat at all, and we didn’t all want to smack her.

The boy one voluntarily applied sunscreen and donned a hat while I beamed with pride.

The Mister broke down and let me apply sunscreen to his neck, and also yielded to my argument that he needed the face cream, since the sun reflects off the sand and sea, even under his hat. You’d think the years he spent in the desert would have made that argument for me, but no…

I was careful about my sunscreen application. I not only burn, but blister easily — and get sun poisoning, and end up quite sick! Sixty-four ounces of prevention is worth not going to the doctor. I put the special face stuff on my face and chest. I put the cream sunscreen on my body, and The Mister coated my back. I pretty much wore hats the entire time.

You know those car sun visors are useless for short people, right? But the brim of my hat can shield a small village.

THIS was my sun exposure:

sun1
I dunno I truly do not know. It was a bit Nemo-ish — Do you see it? Only on one leg. I creamed-up both legs, but obviously this one tried to go tanning. It didn’t hurt much, and faded overnight.

Just in case, I ate a plate of cookies and drank a lot.

Can you see the face of a laughing fish? Do you have any weird sunscreen fails? Do you take sun exposure seriously?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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43 Responses to The Fish Face Laughs No More

  1. DanicaPiche says:

    The laughing fish face! Could that be the shape of a margarita glass?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    A few years ago we went on a cruise. My oldest griped that I didn’t need to help him get sunscreen on his back anymore. I said, fine, do it yourself but make sure you get everywhere. Of course he missed several spots and had blotches of burns against white skin. I tried really hard not to say ‘I told you so.’ But it might’ve slipped out…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. hollie says:

    I do see the fish! I do my best at sunscreen application but every once in a while I’ll clearly miss a spot, or I’ll get one spot especially good and have a glowing white patch. The other day I went to the bathroom at work and thought I was breaking out in hives after I’d seen myself in the mirror. It wouldn’t have surprised me, with the week I had, but as it turns out I just missed two spots near my collar bone on one side and had two sunburnt blotches. I can handle some sun, but I had been out in the 100 degree heat at the pool for hours so a couple of red blotches that didn’t even peel was pretty good, considering!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      All in all, I’m glad it wasn’t hives!
      100 degrees and in sun is for the birds, Hollie!

      Liked by 1 person

      • hollie says:

        My little fish loves to swim! I’ve never been one to shy away from the heat, but the older I get, the more I prefer temps that are slightly less scorching!

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          Haha, yeah. I love to swim too 🙂 We did the pools am or pm when they were mostly shaded. Beach always in the morning 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          • hollie says:

            Night swimming is the best! I love to swim, but hate the kids at the swimming pool, minus my own, of course. I don’t know what it is about a kid seeing an adult sitting on the edge of a pool with her feet in that makes them want to jump right next to her in a cannonball. If I had done that as a kid, my mom would have had my ass out to the car so fast my head would spin. I’m going to try to hit the gym’s pool at least once this week, it is a good workout and I don’t hate it like I do other exercises! No bratty kids to deal with either!

            Liked by 1 person

            • joey says:

              I feel ya!
              One of the hotels we stayed at had kids screaming and running at the pool at midnight! I heard those same kids at 4am, still screaming and running, through the halls! :O
              Compared to other people’s children, there’s a lot of stuff we just knew better than to do when we were kids!

              Liked by 1 person

  4. Benson says:

    Well it does look like the bottom of a goblet. But seriously I am totally sympathetic to your problems. I don’t have any issue with the sun but I can imagine the anguish of not being able to cavort in the sun with kith and kin. I did get a bad sunburn when I was about 8 or 9. I was wearing a thin gauze like shirt;very hip in the 50’s and fell asleep under a catalpa tree. Very bad. I also got a bad burn on my left shoulder while hiking North on the PC Highway. Of course I don’t think I was using sunscreen;so it’s on me. Glad you made it home relatively unscathed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thanks 🙂 Now I really wish it HAD been a goblet!
      I can remember when we didn’t need sunscreen. I got a few burns as a kid, but only after an entire day, and nothing like what happens nowadays.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Creative acceptance!!! | But I Smile Anyway...

  6. Anxious Mom says:

    I commented on that one on Instagram, but will here too–so feel your pain. We could so swap old sunburn battle stories.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Love the fish. I remember when girls used to put silhouette stickers on so they could peal them off and have a temporary tattoo effect. I burn like crazy, it my whole family Browns up in a day of sun. I just wear hats and sleeves.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes, I also see the fish!
    I have similar issues with sunlight. Photosensitivity is no joke! I had a third-degree burn on my stomach a few years ago. That was the worst and last serious burn I had. I’m even more vigilant about sunscreen and big hats now.
    I’m glad the burn faded!

    Like

  9. Bwahahaha! Hilarious! I used to be RIDICULOUSLY sensitive to the sun… as in… just last year. I would be without sunscreen in the sun for 5 minutes (that’s not an exaggeration…) and literally, my skin would turn into bright red, itchy blotches that lasted for days. My doctor thought I had a sun allergy. So, if I went out with anything less than an SPF of 75, I would turn out looking like I had a flesh eating disease. This past year though? Nothing. Nada. It’s like my skin decided to spare me the pain and embarrassment and I haven’t had any reaction to the sun this year. Weird…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dan Antion says:

    I do see the fish. I also learned that cookies are good for sunburn. Thanks, I’ll add that to the list of things that can be cured by cookies.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. markbialczak says:

    When I was 25, Joey, I drove from Maryland to Florida in March to attend my mother’s wedding, and laid out on the beach like the great white speciman I was, unsunscreened. I said I’d stay out one hour. My sisters kept telling me I was getting red as I lay there on my stomach but I knew that was too short a time to get burned. Ha! My whole back was blistered by sundown. Cured me of sunning forever. To this day, I don’t take my shirt off at the beach. I wear a hat in the sun always. Yes to sunscreen at a beach. But my arms and legs and face tan up pretty quickly, all in all, I must say, more Moo than Sassy.

    I must throw in an aside about the gym pool from Hollie’s comment. Back a few, when MDW Karen and I went on our gym mission, she really loves to swim and wanted that chain with the big pool. So we joined Gold’s. Expensive. Then the first day she saw this prima donna woman go straight from her exercise room dripping from her workout and jump straight into the pool in her yoga clothes. And Karen refused to go into the pool. Can’t say I blame her. Me, I went into the hot tub all the time, after using the shower, per instructions.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Nancy says:

    I never had a sunscreen fail, but once on spring break we put a row of Pepperidge Farms fishy crackers across my friend’s back while she slept! It left the most interesting pattern. 🙂 She wasn’t amused…

    Liked by 1 person

  13. ouidepuis1 says:

    I feel asleep on a beach in India & woke up with blisters on the side of my leg and back. I didn’t wear anything but leggings for weeks and that was only because I had to wear something and said leggings could be pulled up to my bra. I had a “tan line” for nearly a year.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Yes, it does look a bit fishy! I nearly always forget to put sunscreen on my face so very often sport ‘the panda look’. the big white circles around the eyes where the sunglasses have been. Classy!!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m tan enough and can burn quite easily. Don’t like feeling iky and sticky so I’m one of those folks you’ll find in the shade with a cool drink 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  16. NotAPunkRocker says:

    M gets gorgeous color when using SPF 45. I hate to think what would happen if he didn’t.

    Of course, I grew up with my mother throwing SPF 15 on us and calling it a day at the beach. Redheads with fair skin and light eyes, mind you. I’m surprised I don’t have leatherface yet from the years of damage that accumulated before I got wise to buying the stuff myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. reocochran says:

    I somehow missed gettung my comment on this post, Joey. So glad you don’t close comments. I got to laughing hard avout your kids. Aldo, why dud i still laugh at thst red leg? We just do, as humans i guess. “Nemo” is such an original way to look at imperfections. 🙂
    Anyway, since I think my cell phone either is too sensitive or double prints my words or forgets what “post comment” means I circle back on posts to see your comments. My ear got cancer and had a big slice taken off about 2 years ago, so I have an elf ear now. I am very anal about slathering sunscreen on my grandkids’ ears! Keep your vigilance, Joey.

    Like

  18. narami says:

    I see Dory… It would have been pretty cool if it had lasted.
    Thanks for visiting my blog today!

    Liked by 1 person

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