What do I wanna write?
Hm. Maybe just some rambling. It’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday and I do feel a bit purge-y.
I put my canvas slip-on shoes away and I’ve rubbed oil into my skin and my bottom lip is split like winter’s really here.
But it’s not, because I went out yesterday in my jacket and carried an umbrella and had a fucking panic attack.
I was perfectly happy.
I had slept until 9:30. I had eaten a bowl of Marshmallow Mateys and had a cuppa coffee and big ol glass of orange juice. No, YOU have PMS and want sugar on top of salt with a side of sex and some bloody red meat! I had already done my bloggity things and my photo of the day — Go me!
You can tell a lot about me from how I look, and I don’t mean whether I look happy or sad or whatever, but like, I was wearing my yellow quilted jacket, which is synonymous with happiness because yellow and quilts are my favorites and the fact that I needed the jacket represents how pleased I was that it wasn’t hot and I don’t live in Georgia, where it was some ridiculous temperature like 70. Had my striped scarf on, you know, cause scarves are the kinda thing I can manage to accessorize without feeling like I’m overdone. I made up my face cause it was the first day in 12 that I didn’t have a big red mark over my lip, cause holidays are so carefree and fun that I wouldn’t dream of getting one of my infamous cold sore flares, so it was good to slide some Angel Red across my non-herpetic lips like a healthy human. My hair curled up, but it didn’t frizz or expand too much despite the rain. Not a lot can go wrong when a woman’s hair is right. There is nothing like a good hair day.
Got into Bonnie Blue, turned on Annie Lennox, cause when I’m alone, I try to listen to all the music the rest of my family is not crazy about. Sang my way to Aldi.
A nice man gave me a cart which saved me a quarter. Eggs were $1.49 a dozen; I bought two cartons.
A young woman asked me what the difference was between zucchini and cucumbers, and that’s kinda hard to explain, but ultimately I decided that zucchini is yummier when cooked, cucumber is yummier raw, and suggested she should buy some of both and try it out. Then imagined how a person wouldn’t know what either is like, and this led me to thinking about that roommate I had in college, the home-schooled one who had never watched television, because her parents thought it was evil, and I wondered if this girl’s parents thought garden vegetables were evil.
I let the lady behind me cut, because she had only broccoli and bananas and she was my elder and I had a cart full. But my cart cost $10 less than I expected and I was pretty freakin happy while I bagged my things. I was also happy that unlike the man The Mister let in front of us last time, the lady I let go didn’t come back and whisper a dirty joke in my ear instead of saying thank you like a decent human being.
I took my cart back and slid it in, but left it unlocked to save someone else a quarter. As I left, I saw a lady push it in and take the quarter from it, as well as from the one in front of it. Initially, this upset me, as this was not my intention, but then I decided Fine, if she needed two quarters, she needed two quarters, who am I to complain?
Then I drove to the bloody buggery Walmart Neighborhood Market because Aldi doesn’t have everything. Like, why did they stop carrying my seltzer?!? Where are those savory frozen pizzas with the goat cheese and basil?!? Tangy warm goat cheese makes me drool. So, yeah, I hadda go to another grocer. I listened to Les Mis on the way, cause boy does my family hate that. I’m a good Eponine, not that they give a fuck about Eponine’s troubles.
Parked Bonnie Blue at the back, because they’re building something else over there now, probably something terrible, like another Walmart Neighborhood Market, only with longer lines and without any employees whatsoever, and the only way out of the parking lot is on Fall Creek Parkway (told you I drive on it all the time) and I do not enjoy trying to turn left twice in 10 seconds.
I’m still bitter about the arrival of the bloody buggery Walmart Neighborhood Market, because it literally took the place of our favorite Chinese restaurant and one of the best markets in the city. Fuckers. The pond is still there, but it’s overrun with Canadian Geese. I never see a duck over there anymore. Why are people in Canada so nice and their geese assholes? Besides, when we fed the ducks and asshole geese it was in an idyllic time when we let the children hurl cheap white bread at them and no one was there to shame us and tell us that water fowl are gluten-intolerant or whatever, like how my parents made us have birdseed at our wedding instead of rice, and clearly favored the gastrointestinal issues of birds over their own child’s fertility. No rice for us. I blame those birds for how it took us three years to conceive. Maybe birds have to explode to encourage baby souls, you don’t know.
But they’re building a Meijer at 56th and Keystone, so that’s exciting, although I bet it will be a duck-less venue.
Panic. They should just call it PanicMart, am I right?
oh did the car just move? omg, it’s vertigo! noooo! oh no my heart is going to pop out and go through the windshield. i don’t think our insurance covers that. it’s okay joey, you’ll be dead. won’t matter. oh. oh no, my neck is swelling! can’t breathe. oh for fuck’s sake joey, snap out of it! you’re okay. it’s just anxiety. you’re okay. i’m dying. you’re okay. i’m dying. you’re okay. yes, it’s raining but the roads are fine and it’s daylight and your husband knows where you are and you are going to live through this. one mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi, but my head is about to fall off, four mississippi, five mississippi, deep breaths, you’re getting better. see you’re fine. six mississippi. that wasn’t so bad, now was it?
oh look, it’s after three. moo must be home.
I used to get to like 29 Mississippi, but I’ve gotten better, so now I’m all patronizing and condescending to myself like you don’t know what.
SoCS and Just Jot it January are both brought to you by LindaGHill and all the cool prompts sit at her lunch table