FOOD!?! What was Linda thinkin?!? I could write about food foreverrr!
“Did you hear what happened to Joey? I guess Linda told her to write a stream of consciousness post about food and now she can’t stop. She’s in some sort of trance…”
I’ll just tell you what I’ve been into lately.
Raisin Bran — I am a serial cold cereal eater, meaning I eat one cereal until I burn out on it and then I pick another cereal and eat it until I burn out on it. I do not try new cereals. New cereals scare me. I cycle through Raisin Bran, Shredded Wheat, Cheerios, Basic 4, Great Grains, Rice Chex, and Rice Krispies. Now and again, I get an urge for Cap’n Crunch, Frosted Flakes, or Marshmallow Mateys, but my body really doesn’t like all that sugar. Or coloring. My mother knew best. She must be so proud.
Oranges & Pears — I still buy blueberries, melon, grapes, apples, and bananas, but in the winter, my consumption of oranges and pears shoots way up because they’re cheapest.
Olives — Olives go with almost everything, or at least my taste buds think they do. Black olives, green olives, stuffed olives, Kalamatas — all the olives are belong to me.
Baby Cucumbers — Tiny little green tubes of cooling crisp. In the dill-dressed sour cream, in the hummus, in the balsamic…with a side of olives, yeah?
Ice Cream — Oh how I love ice cream. I recently found this ice cream called “Peanut Butter World” and it is the best ice cream in the whole wide world and it’s a limited time flavor which means I really do need a deep freeze.
Goat Cheese Pizza — Goat cheese pizza is what’s taking up all the room in my stupid tiny side-by-side freezer. I…Y’all just don’t know. That tangy melty goat cheese…Goat cheese pizza is my lover now. With a lil salad and some olives.
Havarti Cheese — Do I even need to explain that?!? You know what it’s good with? OLIVES.
Pickles — Pickles really fix my salty savory cravings. Did you know Twenty Tap will sell you a container of their pickles? And for a dollar, you can get a giant pickle at Fresh Thyme.
Kefir — Wallaby kefir, to be exact. Peach, strawberry, blueberry, vanilla — and give me a straw so I can suck up every last drop!
I promise I eat lotsa veggies. I eat most of my veggies at dinner when I serve the flesh of animals to my carnivorous peoples.
The Mister and Sassy are slightly less carnivorous than our dog, who loves these.
I usually photograph The Mister’s plate because I don’t eat the meat. He usually has a green plate.
When I am carnivorous, we get butter burgers from Culver’s. If you haven’t tried those, you should not, because they are delicious and bad for you, but if you insist on being that way, I do not recommend the single butter burger with cheese and everything on it. You might slice it in half and as you savor each diabolical bite, you may marvel at how wonderful it is to live in the Midwest.
That Midwest thinking will also take you to The Pawn Shop Pub, where you will fill yourself on half a breaded tenderloin sammich, also with everything on it, extra pickles on the side, and a cup of beer cheese soup, with oyster crackers.
It’s dangerous here. I mean, really, local barbecue smoking, wafting down the street, knocking on the door…
See, I gotta balance it out. The best way to counter heavy, fried, fatty meals is to eat sushi. Ooh sushi sounds good, dun’t it?
I HAVE GOT TO STOP.