For as long as Moo has been eating table food, I’ve admonished the other children, “Don’t take food from the baby!”
Little Moo was underweight, so this “Don’t take food from the baby!” phrase had been well, crucial.
I had enough trouble with the criticism of pediatric nurses, I didn’t wanna hafta say things like, “Her sisters steal her food.”
“No, we’re not food insecure.”
“No, I don’t need a home visit.”
“My children eat all the time.”
“Do you even have children?!”
Moo barely spoke until she was three. There was nothing wrong with her, she could say the perfunctory amount of words, she just wasn’t particularly fond of it. She preferred to scream and cry and grunt. Mostly her sisters spoke for her. Sometimes we still need Sassy’s translation. Y’all probably think Moo words better than I give her credit for, but I present to you, messages from Moo.
Even Sassy couldn’t make heads or tails outta that. Considering Moo had worn pantyhose, not leggings, to school that day.
There were times that Sassy decidedly abused this situation. Like the time Sassy ate all of Moo’s cottage cheese in addition to her own and told me it was because, “My Moomy no likey chottage cheese.”
As I told you, this had been advantageous for the others as well. Say for instance I gave them all two cookies… Some children, I’m not naming names, might would steal the baby’s cookies, because well, she’d just run to me in a total cookie loss meltdown. It’s not like she’d use her words. No one would ever know her cookies had been stolen. Besides, we all know the baby is the spoiledest of spoiled. Just ask them, she gets everything. Why should she get cookies on top of all the love and affection her parents provide?
There may have been other things I’ve had to say along with “Don’t take food from the baby!”
“I realize your sister is not eating at a rapid pace, but let’s give her some time before we hijack the ravioli from her highchair, okay?”
“You may clean up her ice cream cone, but no, you may not have it.”
“She’s eating peas! She likes peas! Give the baby all your peas!”
You can really only understand this if you’ve had an underweight child. Don’t be petty.
“Don’t take food from the baby!” is a thing I still say, although less often.
So last week, as Sassy nibbled her precious potato chips and Moo stuck her hand in the bag, Sassy cried out, “Mama! She’s eating my chips!”
I looked over, and I saw the chips were orange and loaded with fat.
I said, “Let the baby eat!”
And we all laughed and laughed.
Happy Friday Everyone!