Text With The Fam During Study Hall


Sassers: When you listen to Carmen and you’re like, “Jeez I don’t know if I can do thiiiiis!”

Joey: Psh! You ALWAYS say that and you ALWAYS learn the fings.

Sassers: I knooow, but like, it’s one of the most difficult marches ever written!

BaldJake: You will do fine.

Joey: You’re smart and talented.

Sassers: I have only played for 2 yeaaaaars!

Joey: Stop it. The ability, it is in you.

Sassers: And it’s two hours long. I’m concerned about the state of my arm afterwards. Like will it fall off? Will it cramp? Will I get carpal tunnel?

Joey: Yes. All the people who have ever played Carmen are armless now. As all dancers who performed Swan Lake are footless. It’s like that one kid who was playing chess and he couldn’t even and his head opened up and his brain rolled out.

Sassers: I’m sure.

Joey: We will get you bionic arms if we have to. But I bet if you talk to the people who make prostheses they will rarely report those who lost arms in a cello-related incident.

Sassers: Just stop I’m laughing in a silent classroom.

Joey: Music and the Dark Underworld of Black Market Arms: A Netflix Original.

Sassers: Oh god now I’m crying of laughter. In my silent study hall.


Happy Friday Everyone! 

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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45 Responses to Text With The Fam During Study Hall

  1. eschudel says:

    You made me laugh – I needed that!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. pluviolover says:

    Humor! What a wunnerful gift ta have. And laughter at inappropriate times is unforgettable. Love it.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. John Holton says:

    You’re a good mom.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. loisajay says:

    ‘…his head opened up and his brain rolled out.’ You guys are like the best parents ever! What a hoot this was!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Dan Antion says:

    It truly is the best medicine. Love the armless part.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Laura says:

    omg, this is THE BEST. I’ll have to remember these when it starts getting melodramatic around here.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. It will be hilarious to see what this scene will be when you watch your bionic daughter talk to your grandchild (they do learn from you and like mother like daughter, etc.). Was Carmen really 2 hours? Seemed like 4 when I sat high up in Shanghai’s stadium seats watchin the performance in the middle of the field (like ants running around). 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      I’m thinking Carmen probably does take at least 3 hours when there are intermissions.
      I hope all my kids keep their sense of humor about them 🙂 Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Benson says:

    Do the arms fall off immediately or is it an eventual thing? I think Sassy needs all the info. I really Carmen. Especially Carmen’s entrance aria. So sultry.

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      Obviously if she could play Pomp and Circumstance for almost 5 hours straight, she will be alright getting through Carmen!
      I’m glad you like it. You might should come see the production when it’s time.
      I’m not much a fan of opera, which is basically sacrilege in my family, but I can appreciate and respect it all the same.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Arms may fall off, but apples do not fall far from the tree. Brilliant, funny post.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. The armless cellist…good one. Isn’t it fun to make your kids laugh when they are not allowed to ??

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Wonderful exchange. I’m shocked there was a silent study hall though. Mine were usually full of paper airplanes and rambunctious kids.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. l love your family’s sense of humour, Joey; it brought a huge smile to my face, too! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Erika says:

    If you added in something about the bionic arms being haunted and attacking her, it’d be a legit Lifetime movie for sure 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  14. JT Twissel says:

    Haha! I took piano lessons for five years but never got beyond Hanon Studies which should have caused my arms to fall off but I lived to further agonize my teacher! Bizet – I’m impressed.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. I laughed so hard at the armless commentary and brains rolling onto the floor that Mr. D asked what I found so funny. He found it funny as well. Thanks for the laughs!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  16. JoAnna says:

    You are such a cool mom. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Pingback: Writing Links 8/14/17 – Where Genres Collide

  18. Humor is wonderful sometimes for helping us put things in perspective. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  19. marianallen says:

    THANK YOU! I’m laughing in a silent living room. Although: no longer silent because laughter.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Skipah says:

    You are either the coolest mom of all time, or an evil genius :). BTW saw the FB post on Carmen earlier (yes I know I’m way behind on your site), fucking phenomenal!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

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