How to Soften the Blow of Tuesday

I read Ally’s post this morning and I agree, sometimes it all comes together and the best thing to do is appreciate it.

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Tuesdays aren’t that day for me. I like to bitch on Tuesdays. It’s my long-held belief that Tuesdays are unkind days, opposite of Thursdays. If I feel swell on a Tuesday, I assume impending doom is forthcoming. Even if good news or good fortune comes on a Tuesday, I remain suspicious. I imagine Tuesday tries to woo me into perceiving it as neutral or benign. I’ll not be swindled or seduced.

The best and worst of our moods can often be attributed to our own editorial commentary, and that’s an example of mine.

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I can’t make you see Tuesday for the atrocity it is. I can’t logically support my argument.

Some of my Tuesday issues are carried over from Monday, and you might say I can’t blame Tuesday for Monday’s behavior.

Perhaps not getting enough sleep should make Tuesday feel more like Monday Leftover, but that is not the case, because I know it to be Tuesday.

These feelings I feel are relevant to me, even though you don’t share them.

We’ve had different Tuesday experiences. Even if you’d had the same Tuesday experiences, there’d be no guarantee you’d share my perspective, as there are six other days between us.
Your failure to agree with me on the intrinsic cruelty of Tuesdays should have no bearing as to whether or not you feel compassion toward me. However, you’re only human and therefore permitted to find it ludicrous, contemptuous, even conspiratory.

If you believe everything I tell you, you might find yourself in the middle of a shit Tuesday with either revelation or regret. Either way, it’s not my fault you didn’t see Tuesday for what it really was all along.

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Here are some helpful tips to making it through a Tuesday:

1. Always make the coffee the night before. You’re gonna need the coffee. Or tea. Or green sludge — whatever gets you human, you’re gonna need it first thing.

2. Eat a nutritious protein rich, high fiber breakfast which will sustain your strength and fortify your heart against the bewildering chest pains Tuesday will cause you.

3. Wear your stretchiest pants, leaving room for both deep breaths and comfort food.

4. Wear a black shirt or jacket. You’re powerful, mysterious, self-contained, camouflaged in the darkness that is Tuesday.

5. Sleep as late as you can, go to bed early, and try to nap in between.

6. Do not, under any circumstances, make dental appointments, begin a journey, or bake something which depends on the perfection of beaten eggs.

7. Take the long way home and take your time.

8. Agree with your spouse, your parents, and your boss. A mere nod and smile in the general direction anyone else who is clearly deluded will suffice until a more temperate day comes along.

I regret I’m getting this information to you at such a late hour, but I’ve been having a Tuesday.

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
This entry was posted in Personally, Random Musings and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

74 Responses to How to Soften the Blow of Tuesday

  1. I agree! People complain about Mondays, but personally, Tuesdays are the worst for me because Monday was such an effort that Tuesday feels like it should be Thursday. It’s not fair.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. HAHA! I am not too bothered by a Tuesday, it is pretty nondescript. I am not overly keen on a Sunday though, it is too demanding, making me prepare for the week ahead when I just want wallow in the last dregs of laziness!

    Liked by 2 people

    • joey says:

      I used to be like that on Sundays as well, Judy. All the planning and pressing and tidying up — I don’t do that now. Ten years ago, I’d never have believed myself, but I did give it up. I think it’s now I have half the kids and they do a lot more. With your uniforms though… I can understand how that’s inevitable.
      The horror of Sunday night still comes at times for me, though. Depending on how awful Monday is scheduled to be.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. eschudel says:

    So far, I have got the coffee part of Tuesday going. Of course, I am on vacation this particular Tuesday, so it is not nearly as bad as other, more “normal” Tuesdays…Have a not so bad one!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dan Antion says:

    Tuesdays don’t bother me until they go off the rails. Then, I’m stuck with the whole “crap, and it’s only Tuesday” thing. Your list is a good one!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. You made me smile. Still I am a little ornery that you did not pass this vital information to me last night. I could have had coffee waiting for me this morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ally Bean says:

    I appreciate how you must feel here on Tuesday, your day-of-the-week nemesis. Obviously you have a handle on this day as evidenced by your list of precautionary advice. I find that I get along with Tuesday, but that Wednesday, with its peak of the week nonsense, gets on my very last nerve.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Oh I see, you don’t buy the hype of Wednesday’s hump? If so, I do concur, it’s not as fab as it’s made out to be, but I still think it’s better than any ol Tuesday. Thank you for divulging your real opinions here.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Carrie Rubin says:

    Great tips for all days of the week, and you know I’m all for #2. But I’m pretty sure there’s no good day for a dental visit. Yet we have to do it. Shudder. Is it safe?…

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      It’s good to have your support on #2. I’ve been on a cottage cheese and fruit kick for breakfast lately.
      If I’m working, dental work on Friday afternoon. If I’m not working, Wednesday morning is good.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. orbthefirst says:

    “Green sludge” Lol

    Tuesdays are usually my “take out the trash” days, cuz its the end of my weekend (ma is usually off mondays so it feels like a weekend type day) and it gives me room to be as non productive as Im going to be the rest of the week.
    This being the last week of the month, its usually the longest week of the year..but I still feel pretty confident in my ability to be a waste of space this week.
    I just wish itd stop raining..

    Enjoy the rest of your week, and tell the naysayers to go suck an egg. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Well you know, some people are all about juicing with kale or whatever.
      I am upset at the injustice of you having MY rain! That’s exactly the sort of stupid shit that happens on a Tuesday, you get my rain.
      I hope your week is better than you expect, and I so appreciate your support.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. meANXIETYme says:

    Wish I could have slept in this Tuesday morning but alas not to be. Instead I was up at the crack of my morning to wait for insulation people who are actually doing the work tomorrow instead of today as expected. Jerks.
    On the bright side…Hub will be home to deal with them tomorrow instead of me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I DO like that bright side. I think it’s great he’ll be home to deal with it. I hope the insulation process goes smoothly for y’all.
      I got to sleep a skosh later, because The Mister took Sassy in for her earlies at 6:35. I also took a nap and plan to retire early.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. ghostmmnc says:

    Seems all the days just run together for us here. Here’s something to help you get through your Tuesday and the rest of the week. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. scr4pl80 says:

    Tuesday holds no particular feeling from me other than it is typically a “not very much mail” day, don’t ask me why. I’m going to have to give this day of the week thing a good pondering now that I am working outside my house for the first time in 17 years! What are the bad retail days? I’ll let you know when I’ve done some more research.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      We don’t get much mail on Tuesday, either. Wednesday is all the junk mail.
      Bad retail days depends on what’s sold, and whether you view being bored or being slammed as bad. Best of luck with your new opportunities! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Benson says:

    Love this post. I’ll not be swindled or seduced. In my experience they kinda go hand in hand. First one, then the other. I view days pretty much all the same. Just one long run on sentence punctuated by an occasional “happenstance”. I can understand your position I used to feel the same way about Sundays. In my first life. So… Persevere my Dear Persevere.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Laura says:

    Ah, Tuesday Survival Tips. Better late than never, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Jewels says:

    Haha thanks for the tips!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. pluviolover says:

    When I retired, I joked that everyday would be Saturday. I was so very wrong. The day after Friday has lost all its value as the “weekend.” I now prefer Mondays (they’re off the streets, back at work or school). Tuesdays have indeed lost what little value they had, but are just eh-so what days, unless it is election day. Then it’s like “OMFG!”

    Liked by 1 person

  16. jesfarquhar says:

    Haha! Thank you for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I’ll copy this down in case I have a similar traumatic Tuesday in my future, Joey. I like Tuesdays for the most part and today I have two, no three, great reasons for doing so. I started my day by going to a wonderful tea shop, TeaLula, in Park Ridge, Illinois, where I spent a lovely, long time. I then came home to find that our AC has been fixed. There’s still something to be done, but until it’s properly fixed, it’s at least working. Finally, tonight the new seasons of “NCIS” and “NCIS: New Orleans” start. Ahhhhh, sweet.

    I sent you lots of Tuesday love and hugs and hope you get to bed really early tonight.

    janet

    Liked by 1 person

  18. That’s all my days. If I had the energy, I’d start keeping a log to see if you’re right. It would be good to have all the bad on one day, and then just survive that day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I’m not sayin there aren’t other bad days for me, but Tuesdays are the rottenest. All it takes is 10 or so Terrible Tuesdays and you stop believing in Terrific Tuesdays. If I could send you my extra spoons, I wouldn’t want you to waste them on charting Tuesdays ❀

      Like

      • The day someone discovers how to send spoons…

        I get a few extra ones (which I pay for) from having my assistant do things I just can’t seem to force myself to do – or things which there is no point in me learning how to do, because they’re only going to happen once. She set up my first iPhone, cover and case, and I didn’t even have to think. Wish I’d used the time while she was doing that better, but you can’t have everything.

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Susanne says:

    This is a new phobia to me but I respect your antipathy with sympathy. Curious how you feel about Wednesday which I always that was whensday when I was a child which led to strange circular conversations along the lines of “who’s on first”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Whensday would be funny and confusing, and I can see how that’d throw a kid for a loop. Much as I thought perhaps the city my Uncle Paul lived in was Yonder, Kentucky. I appreciate your support in this matter, and it is because of compassionate people like you that I am able to face my Tuesdays at all.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. JT Twissel says:

    I agree – both Tuesday and Wednesday are rough. I think because we all gauge the success of a week by what we get accomplished and on Tuesday our expectations start to fall. At least that’s been my experience. My sympathies. Hope the week starts to brighten!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Your list is a riot. I guess I stopped noticing the days when I worked for 7 in hospitality. I often had my weekends in mid week. Now retired…they all blend together, and it’s pretty great. You can always just “chase the clouds away” like the Moody Blues.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. baldjake70 says:

    It is my opinion that there is not a need for Tuesday. Monday exists because it sucks and to remind you that the weekend is something to cherish. Wednesday exists so that you know you are almost to the weekend. Thursday exists so that you know you only have one more day to get through and it is the weekend. Friday exists to let you know you’ve almost made it as long as you can make it through today. Tuesday does not contribute like the rest of week.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Jad says:

    My Tuesday has been interminably long, I am actually scared this day is never going to end!!
    I swear every time I look at my watch time is going backwards. AND it is 6 pm and I have yet to eat a damned thing!!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I spent a fabulous Tuesday so it’s hard for me to complain πŸ™‚
    My least favorite has and will always be Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. loisajay says:

    A nod and a smile…..works every time. Great advice, Joey. Almost Wednesday….

    Liked by 1 person

  26. marianallen says:

    I used to like Tuesday because NCIS is on. I’m off of NCIS, so Tuesdays are extra sad, because my favorite show isn’t my favorite show anymore; in fact, I don’t watch it at all. ON THE OTHER HAND, I love Tuesdays because #4 Daughter always calls me on Tuesday evening. So I only have to struggle through THE ENTIRE DAY and then I get a treat. Well, two treats, because the day is over, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Joanne Sisco says:

    I’m reading this from the safety zone of my happy place – Wednesday.

    Yesterday, I survived another stinky hot day – outdoors in the blast-furnace heat – because of a commitment I had made weeks earlier when temperatures were in the happy zone.
    Yes, *those* kind of days seem to happen more frequently on a Monday or a Tuesday. It’s painful.

    I hope you survived.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Ew. So sorry. Much like how I’d begun to walk the dog outside in the morning again, or how I’d thought to make chili but then BOOM came the hotness!

      I did survive, thank you — quite happy it’s a long time til next Tuesday! Enjoy your Wednesday! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  28. JoAnna says:

    My husband is off on Sunday and Monday which makes Tuesdays like my Monday. These are excellent tips for any challenging day! I’m all about stretchy pants, and need to work on agreeing with a nod and a smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Erika says:

    Your Tuesdays are my Wednesdays. We’re on the go every day but Sunday, but even more so on Wednesday. No downtime puts me in a mood from hell. You mentioned no baking, and I’m embarrassed to say that last week pancakes got dumped in the trash and I sulked through dinner because my bacon wasn’t cooked right. (And Breakfast for Dinner nights are supposed to make things easier!”)

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Tuesday is still the uphill climb of the roller coaster. Usually it’s a catch up with everything that didn’t get finished on Monday, which is my own fault for believing that weekends are for relaxing and not lifting a finger to keep life from derailing! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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