Recappa 2, Apparently

This is what I do now, apparently. Recaps. Heh. Maybe it’ll be different when …  oh, who the fuck knows.

I have to do a lot of this.
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I think I’ve been fightin off a pack of germs, an army of flus, bug ninjas. I dunno. I know I don’t have enough spoons to blog or gym or stay up past my bedtime.

Lemme tell ya, last Saturday I did what all the people do, apparently — I went through the car wash, filled up my car, went to the goddamn grocery store, yadda yadda. Do Not Recommend. In my city of not quite a million people, there were at least ten million people driving around and waiting in lines. It had been a very long time since I did all the things on a Saturday, which is how I got the energy to do all the things on a Saturday, and that reminds me why it’s so important not to do all the things on a Saturday.

Shopped only for what was requested, which makes me look like I am, in fact, shopping for four different people. Schizocart.

“Nice breasts,” The Mister said.

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On Saturday, I also told my children, as I do every week, to put their laundry in the bins. They didn’t do that. I am publicly shaming my children, yes I am. TSK.
Sassy finally took the last load out of the dryer after I lost my shit over the lack of washcloths in the main bathroom. i own more than forty washcloths. should i wash my face with fucking toilet paper?
“Yes, Catticus, I too am alarmed by the lack of clean dish towels and napkins.”
This weekend, I may take laundry hostages. It’d be a real shame if all their most favorite clothes went missing, OR if I used them as dish towels and napkins. Wouldn’t that be terrible? Wouldn’t you like to be a guest that day? Lil roasted chicken, lil carrots, wild rice, pretty plate, shiny fork — JUST WIPE YOUR MOUTH ON MOO’S RED SHORTS.

Sunday was grand, cause that’s what it does. It does grand, I do laundry and nothin. BUT! On Sunday, a small crisis — I got to the end of my beloved word game. It was sad, but I moved on to another word game, and that was happy.

Monday I worked early and over, but I left dissatisfied. Apparently, I needed two Mondays.
The Mister made the salad, and chili for Tuesday, nearly all by himself. When we went to bed, he said, “I dunno how you do it,” but I didn’t know what it was — parent so wisely, wear a bra all day, go more and sleep less than him, grow hair… 
“Do what?”
“Cook two meals at once.”
“Oh. Practice.”

Tuesday was not cruel. Tuesday was just fine. On Tuesday, I said aloud, “I’ve gotten a lot done and my tasks have all been going swimmingly!” And then I waited for the ceiling to cave in or the internet to go out, but nope.
I left on time, ran to the Aldi quick, and went home to that chili! And a solid half hour of peace and quiet!
However, Tuesday night, when Lady Do Hair came over, my whojawhatsit did not take and she had to redo my whojawhatsit. Apparently, that happens with the whojawhatsits from time to time.
Annnd, my new book was supposed to arrive by Tuesday, but it didn’t. That was fine, cause I was too tired to stay up and read.

It came on Wednesday.
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What the hell did we eat Wednesday? OH! Tacos! Jesss, tacos, lovingly prepared by Moo.
No, we didn’t do anything special for Valentine’s Day. Well, we did go to bed early TO SLEEP.

Thursday was exceptionally warm — go without a coat warm! I wore my pink lacy sweater and my sparkle shoes with the earbobs The Mister likes.

I had doors, I did.

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I was too tired to write about the doors I have. I needed to sit in my bed until 7:30. It was rainy and the cats wanted me to stay. My toothbrush was too heavy and my concealer was too light. Still, I trod on.
And good things happened because Thursdays are kind.
Look what I saw!
Through my sheers — Can ya see him?

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I never can get a good picture of my cardinals, and I have more than two pair.

Thursday delivered my new arthritis-friendly stapler!
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It’s the little things, y’all. Notice the cracked mug of fondness. Aw, mug.

Then I came home and made breakfast for dinner. I am a French Toast Person in a house of Pancake People, but apparently, don’t nobody complain if there’s bacon!

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Today was a good day, if busy. I was told it’s busy season, but in my own nonsense head, I think of it as Chaotic Neutral. I worked late and I went to the goddamn grocery store on the way home because I will not go on Saturday!
When I got home, we had two group hugs and dessert before dinner.

Happy Friday Everyone!

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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79 Responses to Recappa 2, Apparently

  1. Donnalee says:

    Happy crazyday to you!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I try to avoid all shopping on Saturday unless in dire need or if I go really early. I feel your pain about that! My favorite parts of this post? Nice breasts, laundry hostages (I’m all for this!!), and how do you do it? We had our Valentine’s Day dinner on Tuesday night, as I worked Wednesday and then there was our Ash Wednesday service, but fortunately there was a spaghetti dinner first, so I didn’t have to cook. I hope you have a relaxing weekend without stepping foot in any store at all!!

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Don’t know how you do it all, woman. Laundry hostages. Love the idea.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thanks! Ya know, how would they like it if on their laundry days I let them finish and then put all MY stuff in there after, like Oops!? Well they wouldn’t like it! 😛

      Like

  4. eschudel says:

    Happy Friday, and here’s to staying away from the Saturday grocery craziness!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. loisajay says:

    Wipe my mouth on Moo’s red shorts–going fancy, are we?! Such a great line, Joey. Point made, kids??

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Dan Antion says:

    Phew, I’m tired. I would have dropped dead at 7:30 on Wednesday. I do love having breakfast for dinner, so the thought of that might have kept me going (for one day, not two). Looks like Sadie is using you for a pillow. I get that. Good luck this weekend. I hope it’s quieter, slower and food filled.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. scr4pl80 says:

    And I’m complaining about working 26 hours this week at Michaels! I, who have no children at home and who can easily go grocery shopping in the middle of the day in the middle of the week and stay away from the craziness of the Saturday shopping. I salute you! But, my husband is in awe of all that I do, so I’m not showing him your laundry list of accomplishments – see what I did there?

    Liked by 3 people

    • joey says:

      Haha! Fair enough. He’s got a fabulous wife, obviously 🙂 It’s not a contest, and if it were, you’d win, because I totally miss shopping on a Wednesday in the lull of the afternoon. That’s one thing you can say about retail, those mid-week days off feel awfully good 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Carrie Rubin says:

    I’m sure your life has become extraordinarily busy since you started your new job. I feel for you. Hopefully you’ll get some time to kick your feet up this weekend and get those kids to wait on you. 😄

    Liked by 2 people

  9. pluviolover says:

    Some rant, a little rave. It’s Friday night. Have a good weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. darsword says:

    Striking moms are dangerous to a kid brain as they need to learn to do their part for this well-oiled machine to keep moving. Go for it! I do hope you are staying healthy.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. JoAnna says:

    Sometimes going to be early to sleep is a good way to celebrate. Especially in the middle of the week and if you are fighting germs. You are strong and healthy. Strong and healthy. Strong and healthy.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. When I worked full time and did all the house cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping on Saturday I was a crazy, ass, spitting mad bitch. My family scattered to the 4 winds and didn’t come home til dinner time, and He-Man took us out to dinner cause he’s smart like that. 🙂 ”

    I do little loads of laundry throughout the week now, and do the heavy cleaning on Monday’s, and lately I’ve been ordering my groceries via eCart. I order, then go to the grocery parking lot, dial a number and they bring my bagged groceries to me out in the parking lot, we go over the list, they load em in my car, I settle the bill, and go home. I LOVE IT! I’m not too worried about getting the flu as much, or dealing with rude people…well if you don’t count the two asses that parked in the only two eCart spots in the lot so I had to find another spot and the grocery clerk couldn’t find me straight-away. I had words with the first car owner that came out. Little man blamed his teenage daughter. What a prick! I said so too.
    I apologized for making the grocery clerk uncomfortable. Like Dan said a couple of week’s back…”rude people should just stay home!”, yep. I don’t like confrontation, but sometimes I’d die on a heaping pile of principle.

    I’m glad your Tuesday was good! I hope your week-end is stellar.

    Liked by 4 people

    • joey says:

      “When I worked full time and did all the house cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping on Saturday I was a crazy, ass, spitting mad bitch.” — EXACTLY! That’s why I don’t do it all. I ain’t about to do it all. I did it all when I had two kids and two babies and that was easily the worst time in my life, in our marriage. So much resentment can fill a room. We divvy it up whenever possible.

      I could die on a heaping pile of principle, too. I see your point completely! Mean people should stay home!
      I love the eCart business, not used any of that. Maybe in the future.

      Like

  13. Benson says:

    I think holding clothes hostage is a great idea. Kids do need an incentive and maybe seeing Daddy wipe the chili from his mouth with her fave shorts might just be the ticket. You are right about bacon. Stores should offer bacon samples that would take the sting out of shopping. Have a Happy Weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Now, when you also are working, it could be the right time to get your kids into duties in the house. This could all of you and they will feel needed too, even if they complain in the beginning.
    Up to their age, they can do many chores like: Washing clothe, hang it up or dry it in the dryer, take care, that all clothe are delivered in the rooms of the owners. Taking away dishes, either manual or in machine, both filling up and emptying again. Take out trash, vacuum or brush the floors, clean up the bathroom in small pieces like dish and mirror, toilet, bath area. Their own rooms etc. The most important thing is, that you accept their way of doing the chores, just they do them.
    Enjoy your weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. prior.. says:

    such a fun week recappa and laughing at the like ur breasts – even though we started buying the packs of thighs for the increased fat content – and mmm – they do taste a little better in soups –
    and seriously- I sometimes forget about the horrid crowds on Saturday until I am shopping and realize I am immersed.
    and this was what i call classic Joey writing:
    “In my city of not quite a million people, there were at least ten million people driving around and waiting in lines”
    that is an example of what I calla signature style and as you know – I like it
    and sharing sentiments with the laundry – a little different – but years ago I recall that wet towels on bedroom floors was my big complaint.
    I have some random photo of a towel at the bottom of a plastic laundry bin and I do not remember all of the details of taking the photo – but was some sort of triumph that the teen at the time actually finally did it – the towel was placed in the hamper and change was upon us –

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I agree with you about the thighs. I use them for a lot of things, but my nice breasts were for enchiladas, shredded chicken with chiles 😛
      Towels are … Linens are… very important to me, obviously! lol I understand the simple joys of effective parenting and appreciate the time it took you to make it work out. Some of those moments are definitely photo-worthy!
      Thanks so much for saying that, about the signature line. That’s quite nice 🙂

      Like

  16. I am exhausted by not only reading the post but the comments. However, I understand and can appreciate that you need a much quieter weekend away from all the germy rude people out and about. That is one of the nice things about retirement – the meaning of the ‘weekend’ changes dramatically as you can choose to avoid all those nuts out and about on their two days off. Shorts, tops, favorite sock – whatever works so you can have all the wash done, dried, and folded for what five minutes before something drops and the cycle starts over. Okay, now I’m tiring myself out again so I’d better get a second cup of coffee. 🙂 Happy Saturday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Clearly the laundry mommer within you remains strong 😀
      I’m so glad you enjoy your retirement schedule. I do miss running errands in the lull of the afternoon or quiet of the early morning. I definitely need to stay away from the Saturday crowds!

      Like

  17. Your accounts of your week always make me smile. There are so urgent and full of events and the search for “Me” time that I think we can all relate to them:)

    Like

  18. markbialczak says:

    In your hands, the recap is art, Joey. May your weekend bring much personal and family well-being. And, yes, I spotted the cardinals. Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. AmyRose🌹 says:

    If I can help it, I do not step a foot in any store on a Saturday. As for feet up, yup, been doing that a lot this week. I overdid it first of all at the gym and sore? Holy cripes! Your kids better wise up or Mom will take measures in her own hands. I wouldn’t put pass you, Joey. Sundays for me too are usually down days, just ONE day where I can do minimal and yet pamper me. And yes I really did see the RED through the curtains. We have Cardinals here too all year round and have you seen any picture of them on my blog? Ya beat me! Have a great weekend! 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Actually, now that you mention it, I don’t recall seeing any redbirds on your blog… Am I not alone in my struggle to capture the cardinals? 🙂 That’s sad-glad. lol
      Sundays need to be a day of rest for me as well. Here’s to tomorrow! *raises tea* Let’s put our feet up and pet the furry babies!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. LindaGHill says:

    I got a lot out of this post, but the one thing that made an impression more than all the other things: congrats on wearing a bra all day! Go you!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Amy says:

    I hope that you’ve been able to fight off any sicknesses. I had one sick in the house. Trying to keep everything sanitized so no one else gets it. Luckily, it’s just your standard bug. The teens have had some friends who caught the flu and missed a week of school.
    I hate stores on the weekends. I don’t even love the grocery store after about 4:30 during the week and after noon on Sunday gives me the hives (not literally). One thing I won’t miss as the teens move out is the piles and piles of laundry that I wash. Them, yes…their dirty laundry…no.
    I do look in the mirror once this week and notice the dark circle under my eyes. However, I still didn’t put on makeup and went out to run my errands. lol
    We have some cardinals around here, but they never stop for my camera. They fly off as soon as I grab it. I recognize many of their calls and stopped to find the one I heard as I left the library the other day. It was high in the top of a bare branched tree down in the valley from the library. It had been a rough day. I just sat and stared and listened to it call. It made the day better 🙂
    I hope that you have a relaxing weekend!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Remember when they were small and the laundry piles seemed to regenerate every hour? What kind of sadist would ever miss that?!? LOL We take turns with the laundry, but that burden rests heavy on the mommer ones anyway.
      I’m sorry about your dark circles, I felt mine represented my hollow on Thursday, phew. I hope I continue to win against the sick. I’m trying to take good care, I really am. Hopefully you can keep the sick from spreading.
      The weekend started out beautifully, and I hope it stays so sweet — To you too! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  22. JT Twissel says:

    We ate a lot of tacos this week as well. Must have been that kind of week. My big activity was to get the car repaired at the Auto Body Shop. What fun!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. bikerchick57 says:

    That’s a lot of “doing” for a week. I had to take a nap midway through your post.
    I’m salivating from the mention of bacon. I went to three grocery stores today and didn’t buy bacon. What was I thinking?
    I hope you feel better, Joey, and this coming week is a little more relaxing and no one has to use Moo’s shorts to wipe their mouth.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      There’s no bacon here this weekend, either — but then, we’ve had ours 😛 I’d bet you a beer that The Mister will buy some Monday, EVEN THOUGH it’s not on the list 😉
      Thanks, I do feel better today than I have in well over a week.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. I love these recaps, and that aside to Catticus had me laughing out loud.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. marianallen says:

    Excited to see my book on your blog! MomGoth is PROUD! A happy little spark of joy for me! 🙂

    I love the laundry hostage thing. Make it so! I love recapping your week with you. Makes me feel almost like I got to sit down and talk with you over a beer. Or, yeah, okay, a coffee. I wish I could go to the grocery with you, because I LOVE going to the grocery! That may be because I live in a small town, and I’m always running into friends there. Or maybe because I live inna woods, and going to the grocery is like heading into town on the buckboard to load up on vittles for the week.

    Great post. Much laughs.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      If I went to the grocery and saw my friends, I’d pee myself with joy like a puppy! LOL That happened once in 2015. It was very exciting, talking about turkeys and oranges and moms — plus sharing hugs!

      I like your books. They’re… unexpected, not predictable — I can’t word right. You take me on a journey.

      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Seems like a standard week. Some good, some not, but I like the way you make it all interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Ha, I thoroughly enjoyed this post! I can relate to so much of what you wrote about, like what it’s like to do “all the things” on a Saturday! I also know what you mean about getting to the end of a favorite word game. I also feel that when I end a book I’ve been enjoying, like I’m a little lost temporarily! And you have such a fun way with words, like “the goddamn grocery store” and “mug of fondness”! Oh and by the way I love the pictures, especially the one with the cardinal. He’s such a bright spot in a sea of winter grayness! Thanks for sharing all of this; another great read!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Joanne Sisco says:

    Dessert before dinner – now we’re talking my language.

    Curse those bug ninjas … sorry to hear those stealthy little devils have been harassing you. I’ve been dodging and hiding from them all winter. I must remain vigilant to not fall into one of their traps. Running errands on the weekend is one of those traps. Sunday is almost as bad as Saturday, but I have no choice. I will survive this.

    Hope this coming week is kinder to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Pingback: Writing Links 2/19/18 – Where Genres Collide

  30. Anxious Mom says:

    Oooh breakfast for dinner, my fav. One of the few meals where the pickiest eaters are happy as can be. I hope you enjoyed your weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Ally Bean says:

    I’m late to commenting here about your last week. You’re new thing may be recapping one week at at time while mine might be commenting on all the blogs I follow on one day of the week. Busy, we be. Also I like your “cracked mug of fondness.” If you ever start another blog and are unsure about what to call it, may I suggest: The Cracked Mug of Fondness. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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