joeyfullystated

Draggin Ass? Dragon Mood?

Posted on November 10, 2017 by joey

I don’t know why we call it draggin ass. Maybe those guys with the droopy pants are draggin ass, but my ass is relentlessly buoyant. My tummy, after three abdominal surgeries in four years, has long been an entity unto itself, but even still, it leads with aplomb.

My mood, now that’s another matter.
I’m about ready for a nap.
I have slept every night, all week. All week with the sleeping at night. Last night, I dozed off on The Mister and he woke me up because I snored at him. Good for me. I love to snore my face. And to beat him to it. I hope I become a louder, more obnoxious snorer as I age. I hope I fall into my pillow and snore within minutes. Imagine us harmonizing — me, a wee hedge trimmer, him, a bigass chainsaw.

We all have relationship goals, amirite?

I see sunrises all the time now and I still don’t know what’s so freakin fabulous about em. I’ll have you know the underside of my eyelids is far more beautiful than any sunrise I’ve ever seen. Also, because of the internet, I can look at beautiful sunrises from all over the world whenever I want.

Took a photo of the sunrise this morning and at best I’m meh about it. Sure, it was pretty.

It’s the sky. It does that.

I suspect it’s different if you wake up as the sun rises and you exclaim, “Yay! Another day! Woot!” and pop up like Jack-in-the-Box, whereas I wake up in the dark like, “My bed is the most wonderful place in the whole wide world and I am in love with this pillow and I am so comfortable, not too hot and not too cold, and not a single cell in my body hurts and I have literally never been so relaxed in my whole life and, aw, kitty, and WHY DO I LIVE IN A SOCIETY THAT STARTS ITS DAY NOW?!?” I sorta roll out and set my feet down and cry at the moon. I carry my clothes to the dining room and hop around puttin on socks while my hair swoops around my head as if it makes its own wind…

Then into the black I drive.

At this point I tell myself at least I don’t live in the godforsaken state of Georgia and at least it’s not scorching hot, and then I get on with my life. I usually proclaim, “Look at me, doin the fings” and then on Monday, “Look at me, doin the fings, not hittin the trash bins.”
Lately, I’ve had the pleasure of watching the leaves fall and swirl as I drive, and I do love that. Of course, it does that all day, in case you didn’t know.

this is much prettier in person, i don’t know why the camera can’t tell.

mushroom in my yard

i planted that mum three years ago and haven’t seen it since. now i have two blooms?

Today is a magical day, because my tasks are as follows:

1. Brush the animals
2. Vacuum

That’s basically a free day in housewifery. I got to that by linin up my bingo the rest of the week. I have no phone calls to make, nothin to mail, no reason to shop.
After my nap, I’ll probably wake up all YAY! WOOT! ~~at which point I will have the energy to make a new list~~

Shh, be in the now.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Posted in Personally | Tagged gratitude, happiness, lifestyle, nature, The Mister | 58 Comments

#ThursdayDoors — Dis-Is-It

Posted on November 9, 2017 by joey

And the locals smile.

Slippery Noodle Inn is the oldest bar in Indiana. Although it’s been called many names in its time, it’s been in this building since 1850. It’s listed in the National Register of Historic Places.

It’s iconic.
All Hoosiers would do well to spend at least one evening at the Slippery Noodle Inn. ~~Where I spent the winter weekends of 1995~~. I’ve been there plenty.
My nephew was recently initiated into the splendor of what may well be the happiest bar ever. Not only patrons, but staff always seem to be having a good time, too. It’s got good vibes.

This joint is jumpin. Live blues DAILY. Many places in Indy are hyped-up as essential to tourism, but this one is beloved by locals as well.

On Slippery Noodle Inn’s site, one can read about famous guests and musicians, the slaughterhouse, its part in Prohibition, the Underground Railroad, and what crimes may still haunt it. In addition to food and drinks, they sell music and memorabilia. They offer a virtual tour, free photos and logos (like my header) and best of all, seemingly unending hospitality and generosity of spirit.

Also, many doors.

#ThursdayDoors is part of an inspired post series run by Norm Frampton. To see other doors of interest, or to share your own, click the link and find the frog.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Thursday Doors | 60 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday — Boapillar

Posted on November 8, 2017 by joey

“I found the warmest, most colorful scarf the other day.”

One-Liner Wednesday is brought to you by LindaGHill

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged One-Liner Wednesday | 27 Comments

Replays

Posted on November 7, 2017 by joey

This waking at five on the regular thing is still not pleasant, but I now wake minutes before five. Yesterday, perhaps due to time change, I awoke minutes before four. Fortunately, yesterday was not a five o’clock morning, and I relished the fact that I could sleep another three hours. I think tomorrow is a seven day as well.

The important part is I’m sleepin again.

It’s entirely possible that you’ve heard of The Bob and Tom Show as I do believe they’re syndicated. If not, I’m telling you, Bob and Tom are morning radio hosts on the local classic rock station, Q95. Bob and Tom have been on the radio since I was small. Seriously, these guys may live long as the sycamores. One of them, the dark-haired guy, lives right around here. I don’t know that I’d even recognize the other.
I don’t listen to Bob and Tom. I don’t listen to any morning radio. It’s my blog and I’ll ramble if I want to, but I am coming to a point.

The thing about Bob and Tom is that even when you listen to Q95 the rest of the day, when they’re not Bob and Tomming, there’s replay. “Bob and Tom in the morning and highlights replayed all night long” or somethin like that. Over the years, there have been some hysterical bits, and Q95 makes sure we never miss them, so the replay thing is workin.

My brain does this. Replays all night long. And honestly, I don’t need the promo.

I could go lie down, in the daylight, and read, watch a show, or scroll my phone, and my brain wouldn’t bother with replays. Even if I couldn’t sleep, I could enjoy a rest.

After the sun sets, I can’t do that. I have to work for it. Measure my breaths, count my blessings, play any number of mindfulness games until sleep finally comes.
Silence Falls.
Twilight Appears.
“DON’T FORGET ABOUT THE GUY WE TALKED TO AT THE PARKING METER!”
What? Brain, no.
Breathing Slows.
Fade To Black.
“REMEMBER WHEN WE COULDN’T FIND OUR SHOES?”
What the hell is in the darkness?!? Is that the only time the movie screen is available for replays?!?

I realize not everyone experiences this, but I fersure know I’m not alone. Initially I wondered if it was an introvert thing. I know I must process all the interaction, all the stimulation, and wind down before I can sleep. If I don’t have enough time, then I suppose it could take all night?
But there are plenty of good-sleepin introverts…
Do they have black screens at night?!? Are their films silent?!?

This thing where it’s late and people are tired and they fall into bed and sleep? Yeah, that only happens to me when I’m sick. I’m really good at going and going.

Still lookin for the off-switch.

Posted in Personally | 31 Comments

Hand me that …

Posted on November 6, 2017 by joey

… acrylic-covered aluminum-coated polycarbonate tune plate, will ya?

Sittin with the young people, that Millennial crowd, chattin, cuttin up, watchin music videos.

When they got here I’d had the YouTube on. You can tell I’m not a Millennial, cause I say shit like THE YouTube.
As I was sayin, I’d had my music on. I was partially singin to my plants and I was partially seekin restoration from the diabolical remake Bubba had subjected me to. “Wish You Were Here” by Avenged Sevenfold.

It’s about ten times more awful to me that Bubba doesn’t even KNOW “Wish You Were Here” is a Pink Floyd cover. It’s not my fault. He’s had his headphones in since 2005, I swear. I tell him, “Okay, music can be your ONE form of rebellion,” and he smirks at me like his father. Actually, like a mirror of his father.

Anyway, I must maintain control of the clickie when he’s around, because I cannot do the scream thrash metal stuff and I can’t always count on him to take pity on me and play our shared music and it’s my fuckin house, y’all. Sometimes he’ll throw me a bone, and put on some Deadmau5, but the Venn diagram of music we both like is slim af.

He’s a hipster in denial, as so many are, bless his heart, but he’s the worst kind, because he’s always like, “Oh listen to this!” “Watch this!” and “You have got to eat this!” or “Have you had the latest obscure IPA?” while I’m over here all, “I still wear a sweatshirt I bought the year you were born, I reread Beverly Cleary’s Socks for comfort, and I watch the entire Frasier series at least twice a year, I know what I like.”

This is how we do. We do a lil less try new things as the years go on, and before you know it, we’ve got entire subsections of people with retro hair, listenin to the golden oldies, wearin the same style of shoes they’ve worn since their mothers bought them. These are not bad things all around. It’s life.

The other side of it is that comfortable shoes are nice and the more stuff hurts, the more we want the comfort of things that don’t hurt.

It’s not only noise — even food can cause me pain now!
I find myself sayin things like, “No thank you, Darlin, but you go ahead and eat all the chili you want.” (And put extra onions and chiles in it and wash it all down with whiskey, while you’re at it, because if I were still 24, I fuckin would.)

I went to standing room only concerts for music that can quite easily hurt my ears these days. We all get to be 20-something.

Now I generally want my canvas shoes, an early, mostly bland dinner, and the original versions of music, okay?

Which brings me to this, the point of my post.
In the midst of music appreciation a la YouTube, we went into Michael Jackson, and then the young people said things like, “I gotta get some vinyls. I got this one in a re-released edition, but I need to get a vinyl player.”
“They’re selling them at a decent price over at FYE.”
“Yeah? I asked for one for Christmas. Fingers crossed.”
“Yeah. I want some vinyls, too.”
“Records. They’re called records. LPs, 45s. You play them on a record player. A turntable.”
“They’re called vinyls now.”
“I don’t care what you people call them. They already have a name. They had a name before you had a name and they’re records. We don’t call cds whatever the fuck plastic they’re made out of.”

So yeah, next time we’re in the car and I want a cd, I’ll ask them to hand me one of those acrylic-covered aluminum-coated polycarbonate tune plates.

Posted in Personally, Random Musings | Tagged Bubba, lifestyle | 53 Comments

Seven Black and White Pictures

Posted on November 5, 2017 by joey

There’s a popular photo trend/game/challenge circulating social media. There are variations. I’m guessing people alter them as they like. For instance, mine was Seven days. Seven black and white photos in your life. No people. No explanations. I was supposed to tag someone new each day.

I saw people with explanatory captions. I saw some labeled ‘no faces’ instead of ‘no people’ as well as ‘daily life’ and I saw some who tagged seven people every day.

I read Manja’s post about it before I began and then Ally Bean’s post about it once I’d started.

Prajakta tagged me in hers, here on WordPress, and I told her I would play on Instagram.

It was difficult. I definitely considered it a challenge.

If I use a black and white filter, it’s because I don’t like the color in the photo. I maybe find it distracting from the subject. For instance, since my family and I run from shades of paper to caramel, hair from platinum to auburn, never mind the clothes, I typically order our portraits in black and white. It provides a better sense of uniformity.

Generally, I see black and white as a potential method to improve a photo I don’t much care for.

I love living in a colorful world. I totally identified with Manja’s “Who took my green?” This exercise led me to study my previous Instagram photos. I really like to click all the green growing things.

Also, when doing black and whites, it seems structure and contrast are more important and that’s hard for me, too. I didn’t get a lot of definition.

As you may have noticed, I don’t post current pictures of my kids’ faces on public sites, even still, I do photograph, or edit to post, faceless versions of them and it was hard not to use some of those.

The worst part was ‘in my life’. In my life? I can think of nothing duller. I love my life, but it’s not screaming for photo opportunities. I have one of those lives where the fun is dialogue, music, action — it’s definitely in color and at high speed.
My life in pictures-no-people is shoes, car, coffee, book, laundry, dog, cats, stove, tea, and bed. I have plenty of that on Instagram already.

So I chose odd stuff. Oddballs, I think Cee would say. I only like one better in black and white. The first one. The rest, I prefer their color versions.

I’m glad Prajakta tagged me, because it did make me think. It gave me a newfound sense of gratitude for color, and a greater appreciation for people who do black and white photography well.

Posted in Uncategorized | 38 Comments

SoCS — Shortcut

Posted on November 4, 2017 by joey

I take shortcuts every day. Sometimes, multiple times a day.

I live in the city, not the suburbs. I live on a dead end street where a lot of people don’t even think there are streets. We had no idea there was a neighborhood back here and when we told people where we were moving, a few people argued that we must be mistaken!

It’s so small and secluded that we all see the comings and goings of our neighbors from our picture windows and like a small town, we know when you’re an outsider.

Our street traffic is minimal: half residents, half lost drivers.

If you’re on foot, someone unwelcoming will open their front door and yell out, “CAN I HELP YOU? ARE YOU LOST?”

taken this morning, in the mad wind

There is a price to be paid for tucked-away city nature on interstate-adjacent land.

Leaving my street during rush hours is PERILOUS. If you’d like to turn right, you can, eventually. Theoretically, you can merge across four lanes in less than a quarter mile, or merge across two lanes in a half mile — if you’re feeling brave, invincible, or suicidal.
That is the most direct route to anything north of here, including I-69N and I-65N, but like I said, not during rush hours.

Turning left is a PERILOUS JOKE during rush hours. It’s battling a busy intersection on one side or the incoming interstate traffic from the other. There’s a school across the street, so sometimes the line of traffic extends beyond and you literally cannot turn left, in which case, if you have plenty of time, you can turn right to turn left.
Again, it’s the most direct route to anything south of here, including downtown, I-70, and I-65S, but not during rush hours.

So you’d ask, “If you can’t turn right and you can’t turn left…”
NO, YOU CANNOT GO STRAIGHT. Maybe at 3am, but otherwise, NO. Oh, wait, are you Speed Racer? Non? Then NO.

You do what we do, which is drive through alleys and parking lots and secret streets even shorter than our own. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day.
No map app would tell you to do it, but it’s faster and safer and far easier on your nerves.

Instead of seeing your life flash before your eyes or the chaos of turn signals and brake lights, you’ll see children, birds, squirrels, bunnies, and cats.

It means quiet times when you get to turn right or left are extra special.

One thing I can say about driving at 5:20am, I make that trip in three minutes instead of five and I never almost die.

Somewhere, there’s someone sayin, “If you can get there in three minutes, you should just walk,” and I must remind people this is a city, that it’s illegal to walk on the interstate, and the walk time is actually 37 minutes (43 for teenagers).
I found the shortcuts on foot.
For walkers, there are two PERILOUS sections, three if you don’t take the shortcuts.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday — SoCS ‘shortcut/ cut short’ is brought to you by LindaGHill

Posted in Personally | Tagged lifestyle, SOCS | 56 Comments

Grin And Blur It

Posted on November 3, 2017 by joey

I honestly have no idea what’s gotten into this week, but it’s askew. And blurry.

Me: I think I’ll …

This Week: Actually, you’ll …

Me: Okay, but then …

This Week: No.

No, of course it’s not me. I’m right as rain.
Rain. I love rain.
It rained a lot here this week. It made me happy, except on Monday, when I took the interstate to the weird split where Pennsylvania meets Delaware and lefter is better, LEFT LEFT LEFT! The slopes of the left lanes were floody and my car was whooshy and my nerves screamed under my skin. When I parked, the skies closed.

On Tuesday, I needed red meat and in a particularly pleasant turn of events, my husband had already thought takeout sounded good, so he brought home noms.

We watched Nightmare on Elm Street and ate takeout at the coffee table.
Zero trick-or-treaters came to the Mottern house, even though The Mister bought FOURTEEN bags of candy.

Wednesday I thought I’d go to the store and clean house before Bubba showed up, and then The Mister said he wanted to go.
“You want to go? To the store?”
“With you.”
seriously, what is goin on?!?
So we went to the store together and I did not clean house and Bubba arrived and we yayed and played.

I thought I’d clean house yesterday, but I had to do some midday sleepin first, cause thank you, Five Am. When I woke up, I found out the young people were comin to the house and I needed to drink Pepsi and eat Milky Way bars way more than I needed to vacuum, so Bubba and Kiki and I sat in the dirty house and chatted before off they went to eat a late lunch because I had a pot of chili on the stove, of course.

Alone in the house, high on sugar and a whopping 35 milligrams of caffeine, I cleaned to spotless perfection. Moo came home, Bubba and Kiki returned, I picked Sassy up, Simon arrived.
We had a great night! Sassy and I agreed that was a lot of peopling on such short notice, but what a great night!

Y’all, I cannot tell I cleaned. Is too messy to see the clean.

This week has been askew, I tell ya. The disappointments I did not mention were made up for by more unexpected joys, pleasures, treats, and kindnesses, also not all mentioned.

Outside, the sun shines. Bubba plucks his guitar. Simon snores on my floor.

It’s really important to remember that our hopes and plans, big and small, are sometimes in the way of BETTER stuff.
This week did not go as I planned, not even once. The results were spectacular.
The best blurs out the rest.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Bubba, food, gratitude, happiness, lifestyle, nature, Sassy, Simon, The Mister | 69 Comments

#ThursdayDoors — Lucas Oil Stadium

Posted on November 2, 2017 by joey

Behemoth thing.

Where the Colts play.
Or don’t.
Whatever.

Lest you get all riled up, let me assure you, I couldn’t care less about football.

Things I Care About More Than Football:

10. The celestially-inspired travel patterns of dung beetles
9. The ongoing saga of my neighbor’s knee injury
8. Who the people on magazine covers are
7. Pokemon
6. The Dow
5. Who’s dead on which NCIS program
4. Horsepower
3. Anyone’s cover album
2. Sunrises
1. How my mother-in-law thinks things should be done

Well I could probably list hundreds, but for the sake of time, basically everything but math and hot weather go above football, okay?

Now that we’ve got that outta the way, here are the doors, or rather, gates.

#ThursdayDoors is part of an inspired post series run by Norm Frampton. To see other doors of interest, or to share your own, click the link and find the frog.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Thursday Doors | 55 Comments

Another Sleepy Post

Posted on October 31, 2017 by joey

Y’all, I just do not sleep anymore. That’s my thing again. That’s what I told my family when they came out to find the light on in the middle of the night.
“I just don’t sleep anymore.”
“Hello, I just don’t sleep anymore. It’s my thing.”
Sometimes when people sleep longer than average, we say, “You must have needed it.” This doesn’t work in reverse. It is not possible I don’t need more than two hours here and two hours there. I’m really very tired. I was in bed before nine last night, ready to do all the sleeping.

I almost fell asleep several times. But then, I had the thinking. Oh, the thinking.

This leads to the kind of thing where you start counting down the hours til the alarm, and that’s never good. As all Friends fans know, that shit’ll land you in Tulsa.

I’ve reached a point where I get excited when I doze off and my mind starts to turn surreal. why was i thinking about a blue bucket on a river? i don’t know that river OR that bucket! Well, that’s dreaming brain ready to fire it up! yes, brain, bring back the blue bucket, c’mon brain, you can do it, let’s dream!
Probably only insomniacs can relate to that, but I know they’re out there.

I have a lot on my mind. I’m anxious.
To be clear, I’m regular person anxious, not anxiety disorder anxious — ie, I have actual reasons to be anxious.

I wrote six full pages last night and made a list and does any of that even matter? I dunno yet.

I can tell I’m in a weird place, because my husband is being … You know what, this’ll sound odd, but he’s been Strangely Nice. I mean, above and beyond his customary level of niceness, so much so, I feel a lil freaked-out. Like, he kept asking me if my day was still good. Who asks that? Why was it so important my day was good? For this, I can blame my parents, thank you. Children of divorce love to ask, are things going too well? i think things are going too well. something bad must be coming.

I suppose he could be reacting to my current stress level, but it’s easier to be suspicious because that gives my brain something to do at 3am. Ridiculous, I know. It reminds me of how grateful my neurotic ass is to have him. do i deserve a man who is so loving and supportive and thoughtful? let’s dwell on that for 45 minutes.

Even now, I sit here with tired eyes and busy brain. I’m so outta whack, I think dinner sounds good at 7am. Doesn’t dinner sound good? Somethin savory and starchy, like mashed potatoes and gravy. Maybe some smoked sausage and grits. You know what would go well with that?
Bourbon.

That’s another unfortunate thing about lack of sleep, that whole I’ve-been-up-long-enough-to-get-hungry-again, 3am-would-like-to-see-a-menu thing.