joeyfullystated

Share Your World #33

Posted on August 15, 2016 by joey

Would you travel into outer space?
No way. I like the earth just fine. I find our atmosphere most agreeable to breathing. Also, in movies, astronauts are always saving lives with all this impressive math and science stuff that I don’t even understand. I have trouble adding up my time card. I saw The Martian. I would die. I don’t even think I’d make it to the potato-planting scene, okay?

Which country/city in the world (that you have never been to) would you most like to visit and why?
Ooh. Some English countryside, thank you. I think I would enjoy the landscape and the weather. So many pictures of green and rain and hills and stone and wood cute livestock and don’t the beaches always look hospitable to pale people?

What could you do to breathe more deeply today?
It’s raining and I’ve got to drive to work. Breathing deeply is required.

Complete this sentence: This creamy peanut butter sandwich could really use some …
strawberry preserves.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
Last week was LONG. I’m grateful for The Mister. He’s an asshole, but he handles my bitchiness with expert finesse. I’m looking forward to the cooler weather this week and OMG NEXT WEEKEND IS ANNIVERSARY. Woot!
The sunflowers are opening.
This is my photo of the first one open on Friday, and Moo’s photo of the same one Sunday. We have to stand on things to photograph them. They’re giants. We’re not.

Cee’s Share Your World is a weekly feature and all are welcome to play along.

What’s going on in your world?

Posted in Personally | Tagged gratitude, happiness, lifestyle, Moo, nature, SYW, The Mister | 31 Comments

SoCS — Pay Your Way

Posted on August 13, 2016 by joey

I share my life with a man who thinks I am his ATM. You might read that wrong, because it’s not like he’s with me for my money.

When we were first married, I’d keep cash in my wallet how normal people do. Cash is relatively important to childcare. School-aged children regularly need $7 for a field trip or $2 for Save the Seals Lollipop Day or whatever. I was fairly tolerant of my husband robbing me of his money, until the day came that Bubba needed $5 for his field day tee-shirt and my $5 was gone. While I was cursing up a storm and counting change, I realized I needed to address the issue. Is it normal to send your child to school with a baggie full of change? For a while, I watched my words go in his ear and out the other, then I began to hide money.

For a few years I gave him a cash allowance.

More years passed and The Mister stopped robbing my purse. He suddenly developed a strange respect for my privacy. You’re not supposed to get into a woman’s purse you know. The proper etiquette is to bring the bearer her own purse, she’ll get into it and tell you to put it back. “Bring Mama her pocketbook.” I have never gotten into anyone’s purse, but I really don’t care about my own. I ask my family to bring me things from my purse all the time. You want a $25 check? Bring me my wallet. Why should I be the only one who wrestles with nine hundred receipts?

I kept cash and coins in our minivan, making it a portable ATM for The Mister. Since he drives Bonnie Blue now and again, I had to say, “Take all the money you want, but leave me all the quarters. I need them at Aldi.”

Years passed by and now he likes to stand beside my purse almost touching it, doing a sorta swaying thing, wiggling his fingers, asking, “Do you have any cash?”

I seldom have cash these days. The children are old enough to count change from the big jar and no one bats an eye if you want to use a debit card for $1.04.

Sometimes we’ll be out somewhere and I’ll see The Mister’s got cash, and it occurs to me, he actually DOES know where the ATMs are and how to use them.

Of course, in turn, I know where the stepstool is and where the tire gauge is and how to use them…
We all have to pay our own way.

socsbadge2016-17

SoCS ‘cash’ is brought to you by LindaGHill

Posted in Personally | Tagged family, marriage, money, SOCS, The Mister | 47 Comments

Roundabout Lunchtime

Posted on August 12, 2016 by joey

Y’all know I’ve gotten into the habit of makin you laugh on Fridays, and today is no different. I insist you laugh at my expense.

In an exciting turn of events, I was asked if I’d be willing to work longer hours yesterday and today and so of course I am, because like I said, I love my job.
Early in the morning, I noticed my hair was well-behaved, and I hoped the printer would follow suit.
It did.

Work was fiiine.

Because The Mister and I work on the same side of town, per se, I decided we could meet for lunch. Ooh! So exciting! You know what else? There’s a Panda Express right close to his office, and I am currently obsessing about Black Pepper Chicken at Pandaspress. Not even kiddin. Monday I Googled a copycat recipe and I cooked it up real good and oh the noms!

Check it.

Mmhm, I cook better than Pandaspress…

Anyway, to meet The Mister at Pandaspress I went.

Now, I had asked him, “How far north are you? Should I just take Keystone to 126th? 136th? 146th?”
He said, “Take the interstate.”
I said, “I don’t like the interstate over there. It’s west. That’s west. I don’t even know which side the ramp is on.”
He said, “Take the interstate. Otherwise it’s windy-dindy.”

I do hate windy-dindy.

But did I listen? No. Because it shouldn’t be that hard to get over there, it should take like 15 minutes of west and north. We live on a grid, how windy-dindy could it be?

JFC. I almost died.

For some insane reason The City of Carmel has installed roundabouts everyfuckingwhere! I’m not afraid of roundabouts. I live in The Circle City. The center of Indianapolis is literally a fucking circle. Monument Circle. Truly.
For seven years, I lived directly off a roundabout.

But these were two-lane roundabouts and I mean to tell you, they were unending. I was constantly yielding! It was virtually never my turn! I swear to you, one of them wasn’t even a roundabout! It was missing parts and its signage looked like algebra letters to me.

“I don’t even know what that was. Coulda been a hex.”

When I left the safety of my square parking lot I did not know I would need to pray for traveling mercies. Because I didn’t know that, my trip brought me closer to God than I had expected. Hence all the beautiful blasphemy.

It was all too math-y and spatial and I was like, “Highest taxes ever up here and they don’t have money for stoplights?” JFC.
It’s very pretty there, in Carmel. It’s a lovely place, built on money and more money, but I’ll keep my dirty city streets with the right angles, thanks. Maybe I don’t want Russian sage and daylilies in my medians, okay?

I felt like I was trapped in a joke.

Drive straight one block, spend five minutes in a roundabout. On repeat.

“Another one? Seriously?”

“No, no more! Why is this happening to me?! I’m a good person, I don’t deserve this!”

“Oh my God, I’m going to die. I’m going to die on my way to lunch and I will never get those documents scanned and people will be like ‘it was the pepper chicken passion that did her in’ and I’m not even wearin comfortable shoes!”

JFC.

I used to work there, not that I could tell you where anymore. I hadn’t driven up there in twenty years and I didn’t recognize a single bit of it. How old people do, I will tell you I THINK MOST OF THAT WAS FARMLAND!

Eventually, I made it. I parked and waited for the adrenaline to die down.

Then I met my love and we ordered food and he paid.

He introduced me to a colleague and as I extended my hand, she said, “I don’t know if I should shake your hand or hug you.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“Me,” The Mister explained.
“You poor thing,” she said.
“Oh yes, I get that a lot. It’s alright. I’m actually the mean one.”

For some reason things got awkward there for a moment.

But there was pepper chicken…

I killed it.

And a Coke the size of my head.

Took me all afternoon to kill that, but I think that makes the caffeine work better, right? Like time-release soda.

Then came the fortune cookies.
If you’re unfamiliar with how this works, basically, I always get the shitty fortunes and The Mister’s fortune cookies dazzle him with fabulosity. I’ve posted about this before.

Examples of Mine:

“She who irons today has time to mend tomorrow.”
“Why you no eat meat in lo mein?”
“Flies never visit an egg that has no crack.”
“That’s enough dumplings for you.”
“Too much wood.”

Examples of His:

“You’re so handsome!”
“Your wife so lucky!”
“Kill one to warn a hundred.”
“You are destined for greatness!”
“Your dick is the biggest!”

This is as neverending as the roundabouts.

My fortune was:

Hell. I’m going to Hell. Sunshine? Sunshine?!? Are you fuckin kiddin me?!?

THE MISTER GOT TWO! TWO IN ONE COOKIE!

Yeah. That’s how it goes.

Going back to work, I went through another series of roundabouts and I decided that I should dine no farther north than 96th Street. And that when my husband says I should take the interstate, I should take the interstate.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Posted in Personally | Tagged anxiety, food, gratitude, happiness, lifestyle, The Mister | 53 Comments

#ThursdayDoors — Spencer

Posted on August 11, 2016 by joey

When The Mister and I travel to southern Indiana, we always seem to go through Spencer. I’ve been through there many, many times. Like a child I always say the same thing, “This is familiar. Is there a McDonald’s at the end of this street?” Y’all know I like my fountain Cokes.

I could probably make it to Spencer on my own, but after that McDonald’s, I wouldn’t know where to go. I don’t care how many times I’ve been down there in the last 30 years, I still do not know the way to The Mister’s grandmother’s house, let alone the more obscure places.

I more often drive home, because while there are no signs that read “Grandma’s House” with arrows and mileage on the way down, on the way up there are plenty with “Indianapolis” to help a city girl get home.
Besides, then I can stop at that McDonald’s, “Two swate tays and two Cokes, please.” Everyone likes a cold drink on a lil doorscursion detour.

Church doors

Other church doors

Library Doors

Historical Allison-Robinson House with interesting guard dog

Rarely seen door of recent yore

Beautifully restored town hall and firehouse

Owen County Courthouse

All that may have been too pretty, too quaint and lovely for you. Lemme mix it up, Spencer-style.
Mexican restaurant doors

#ThursdayDoors is part of an inspired post series run by Norm Frampton. To view more interesting doors, click the link and see what others are posting today.

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged family, The Mister, Thursday Doors | 42 Comments

One-Liner Wednesday — LOL, Aww!

Posted on August 10, 2016 by joey

When Moo was six, she and her friends went around the neighborhood selling their watercolor paintings, because, I quote, “Small people are cute and grown-ups say ‘Aww!’ to us.”

One-Liner Wednesday has been brought to you by LindaGHill

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged happiness, Moo, parenting | 30 Comments

A Soothing Balm for Med-Regret

Posted on August 9, 2016 by joey

If you’re reading mental health bloggers, you’ve probably read plenty about people who stop taking their medication. There’s some sort of shame or stigma attached to this and those who’ve done it. I’ve heard people berate themselves and say they knew better and they can’t believe they did that. I always have the same reaction, “Why wouldn’t you do that?”

This is why doctors have to tell us to finish taking all of our antibiotics. We’ll feel better, and we’ll forget we need them.

One’s perception of normal is completely relative. Some people feel their own version of normal when they’re unmedicated. Some people feel their own version of normal when they’re medicated.
I don’t want to generalize too much, and I certainly don’t want to be too specific, BUT if you are a person or love a person who has this pattern, I’m hoping to make you see this in a different way.

Please stop thinking there is something wrong with you when you stop taking your meds and find yourself remorseful. It is a human thing to do. That’s why it’s COMMON. Yes, it can be dangerous. No, you shouldn’t stop cold turkey, on a whim, just because you’re having a particularly good Monday, but you can’t hate yourself for it.

People do this with all kinds of medication.

People who don’t have mental health issues.

I am a long-time allergy sufferer. I’m an allergic disaster waiting to happen. We do not need to talk about the condition or the medication to relate. Just assume in my 40-some years, I have taken lots of meds for allergies.
My children have allergies. Moo the worst.
As Moo’s mother, I must nag her about taking her allergy meds.
If her throat and ears itch madly, she will enthusiastically swallow a teaspoon of honey and 10ml of nasty-tasting liquid antihistamine for immediate relief. If her skin freaks out, she will gladly soak in an oatmeal bath or rub any number of recommended products onto her skin.

When her allergies aren’t drastically affecting her life, she doesn’t want to take any of the meds or even rub anything on her most susceptible areas. At no point does she ever want to take her nasal spray.

I see it coming.
She wakes up hoarse.
I hear the slurping of snot.
I see her stop drawing to swipe at her nose.
Her energy isn’t as high.
She requires more affection.

It is a BATTLE to get her to take her meds when she doesn’t feel poorly. If I don’t coerce her to take her pill and sniff her spray, she just won’t.
We go through days of this, “Did you take your sniffer? Do your sniffer!”
She never wants to take the sniffer.

“MAMA! NOOOO! IT WAS JUST TWO SNEEZES! I’M OKAY!”

It could take a few days or even a week for her to get to a point where she actually feels as snotty as she seems. By then, she might have a chronic cough, be vomiting mucus — well on her way to a respiratory infection.

It’s my job to prevent that.
So I line the medicine cup up with the nasal spray, the honey, the pill, and the hot tea. It takes three days of consistent care to end her suffering. Then she feels all better and doesn’t want to take the meds. Again.
It’s not because she’s a child, it’s because she’s human.

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged lifestyle, mental-health, Moo, parenting | 38 Comments

Share Your World #32

Posted on August 8, 2016 by joey

If you could have an endless supply of any food, what would you get?
Just back the ice cream truck right into the drive…

What is the worst thing you ate recently?
Mouthful of cat hair, absolutely. Although I did a lot of “PLEH! PLEH! PLEH!” I’m certain I ingested some.

You are comfortable doing nothing? For long stretches of time?
No. I really have to work at relaxing. I like to have the option, though, if that makes sense.

List of Jobs You Think You Might Enjoy: Even if you aren’t thinking about a career change, it can be fun to think of other jobs you might enjoy.
landscaper
food critic
librarian
therapist

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
That weekend was delicious. Just delicious. I am so grateful I had a reprieve and I look forward to the return of ‘normal’ — Oh! My sunflowers are starting to open! They could open this week!

Cee’s Share Your World is a weekly feature and all are welcome to play along.

What’s going on in your world?

Posted in Personally | Tagged food, gratitude, happiness, nature, pets, SYW | 28 Comments

SoCS — EXiting EXhaustion

Posted on August 6, 2016 by joey

I was exhausted yesterday. And Thursday, and Wednesday, and Tuesday and well, I think you get it. Back-to-school involved so much doing and peopling, it ate up all my downtime.

Yesterday I was so tired, I was putting on my make-up and asking myself how much concealer I could use before I’d look like a much older reverse-raccoon version of myself. My concealer spoke up and suggested I try a putty knife. More eye shadow then?

My hair was mad. My hair hadn’t had enough downtime either, and it cried for help, making sure everyone knew its struggle. I tried to wrangle it into a bun, but BOING, it would not be suppressed.

It’s not that I didn’t sleep well and plenty, but no matter how much sleep I got, even on the Sunday I got a whopping ten hours, I had to keep moving and peopling on. I needed a long sleep, a day down, and another long sleep.

I get that this weekend.

I’ve been waiting for it for over two weeks.

As I drove home from work yesterday, I couldn’t help but notice The Universe made rush hour traffic smooth just for me.

I picked up Sassy and then picked up Mexican, and then the most exciting thing happened: I watched television while putting the quesoeverything in my mouth. I watched tv all night, and I snuggled both babies, two cats, and a dog. Everyone got a turn, even if Catticus used his to make biscuits on my stomach and cry for crunchy kibble, he had the chance.

Woke up close to afternoon, rubbed all of me over all of The Mister and vice versa. Delicious snuggles, the kind you get when you don’t have to get up and do things. Then the babies, and the dog, and two cats came to cuddle, too. We did that for a good long time.

Peace.

The girls heated the skillet and I made coffee. I chomped on dark juicy grapes while I fried up bacon, sausage, and eggs. We made tall glasses of chocolate milk. Moo sliced up pears and started baking cupcakes.

Downtime.
For two days.

I like to sit on my sofa and think about all the things I do not have to do this weekend.

And I don’t mean to brag, but this week? No appointments, no guests, no events, no lists.

How’s your weekend goin?

SoCS ‘ex’ is brought to you by LindaGHill

Posted in Personally | Tagged cats, dog, family, food, gratitude, happiness, lifestyle, Moo, Sassy, SOCS, The Mister | 32 Comments

Slit Issues

Posted on August 5, 2016 by joey

My back tensed painfully.
My abs were aching.
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
I couldn’t breathe. I said, “Oh my God, I can’t breathe!”

Not too long ago, The Mister picked me out a blouse at the store. It was bizarre in that 1) my husband actively shopped for me 2) the blouse was full price and 3) the blouse had more than two colors. The Mister has a sorta two color maximum about clothes. This is generally fortunate, because I don’t really care for prints, and when I do, I lean toward monochromatic, not that The Mister would agree on the definition of monochromatic. I doubt he even knows what that means. *asks* No, he doesn’t.

Anyway, I couldn’t believe he picked out the blouse, which is predominately blue, of course, but it has what looks like stippled paint in assorted colors. I’m shocked he picked out a clothes for me. I honestly don’t think he’s ever done that. It’s all silky and pretty and I love it.

I thought I’d wear it to work the other day…

Lemme tell you, I had a good gigglesnort, because um, the what-appears-to-be-a-modest-slit at the yoke on the hanger is actually quite the deep V on me. Whoa boobs.
It occurred to me that The Mister may have surmised this cleavage feature before me. But did he? Cause I know he knows I won’t take my boobs to work.

I sometimes take my boobs to parties, but I do not take my boobs to work. This may or may not have anything to do with why I was the world’s worst waitress…

I took off the shirt, pinned it closed, and put it back on. All good. Modesty, check. Ready for work.

At a later date, I put on the shirt to wear to dinner.

I was standing behind him when I asked, “Did you know this shirt was like this?”
He turned around, “Like wha– Oh! Hello!”
I laughed.
“No Baby, I didn’t.”

I wore the blouse out to dinner. I managed to eat a bowl of clam chowder and some crab cakes without any spillage, but the wild rice did me in. I shook out my napkin, “Too bad the dog’s not here.”

Then during dessert, I felt something hit my torso. I looked at Sassy and she looked back at me and I indicated for her to be quiet so as not to attract The Mister’s attention, because he does so love to make fun of me being a bad foodie who can’t even get all the food into her mouth.

Sassy and I failed.
He noticed.
I didn’t notice him noticing until he’d already noticed.
I discreetly felt myself up, checking to see where what part of my dessert landed…

It was inside. I could not discreetly reach into my blouse for it, but the booth was shielding me from any non-Motterns, soooooo — that slit came in handy.
*swoop swoop*dig dig*

The Mister said, “Oh suuure, when I do that at a restaurant, I’m being inappropriate, but when you do it, it’s okay! I don’t even get to kiss you, but you get to give yourself a little treat!”

I lost it. Just lost it.

I was overtaken in a fit of laughter.
Had we been at home, I may have fallen onto the floor, clutching my stomach and kicking my legs. I was trapped in a booth with The Mister, rollicking with spasms of laughter.
My back tensed painfully. “My back!”
My abs were aching. “My abs!”
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
I raised my arms over my head, “I need to yoga!”
I couldn’t breathe. I said, “Oh my God, I can’t breathe!”

For several minutes we all laughed like that.

I never did find what fell, but I found the best laugh I’d had in a long while.

Happy Friday Everyone!

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged food, lifestyle, marriage, Sassy, The Mister | 47 Comments

#ThursdayDoors — We Went to Lyons

Posted on August 4, 2016 by joey

Non, non, not Lyon.
Lyons.

dig that reflection

I know, we’d never heard of Lyons, either.
I think Lyons is one of those places you don’t hear about until you’re supposed to be there at noon on Saturday, hm?
Maybe our southern Indiana blogging buddies have heard of Lyons? Marian? Skipah?
When we told the boy one where it was, he Googled it, then he said, “There’s a gun shop next to a church. I’ll pass.”
It’s Indiana, Son. Jeez. The Mister and I know how frequently guns and Jesus travel together. I dare say many Hoosiers would be more of the mind of, “How convenient!”

Anyway, y’all know I love a road trip. The weather was ~~too freakin hot for Joeys~~ 89F/31C, but it was a pretty day to ride in the climate-controlled environment of Bonnie Blue.

I love a drive through the country.

CORN. Oh the corn.

And soy, if you’re into that sorta thing.

roadside pretty

Yes, I know it’s blurry. I have to restrain myself. If I shouted out, “Stop!” every time something perfectly suited to pictorials popped-up, we’da missed the reunion.

BIG RED BARNS.

that’s the stuff

I know the wires are ugly, and if you don’t want to see them, if the reality is just too much to bear, you can walk across Highway 67 and get a better photo. I choose life.

There’s not a lot in Lyons, Indiana, but it is painted with “the patina of a bygone era.”

someone lives here

tin roof — rusted

usta be doors

Same building — Old movie house? Even older Masonic Temple?

nice staff, door

1905

this is where people snuck in the back, i bet

they saved the bell

See how the left mentions Vincennes and Carlisle? Yeah, we know those two places.

It’s not really America if you don’t see Old Glory everywhere.

happy lil place

lacy curtains

the shirtless man came out of the bank

There were some friendly bikers in front of the bank and another storefront, or home, or I dunno what. They had a dog inside and Sadie was whinin up a storm, she so badly wanted to meet that doggy. She thinks everyone loves her.

such a midwestern scene

crossroads of america

oh silos!

Yes, I am farm-friendly. But I couldn’t hack it. My summer specialty would be weeds and my livestock would roam off in search of water, cause I’d be inside, sittin in the air-conditioning, drinkin swate tay and dreamin of hoodie weather.

This clock is right twice a day, but I didn’t see it then.

I hope you enjoyed this unexpected doorscursion.

#ThursdayDoors is part of an inspired post series run by Norm Frampton. To view more interesting doors, click the link and see what others are posting today.