Well you know, I thought after I wrapped up NaNo, I’d be super-blogg-y and there would still be plenty of time to experience all the wonders of yuletide. Of course, I would spend a quiet evening at the table, writing out holiday cards while bobbing my head to twenty different versions of Carol of the Bells. As a family we’d go downtown to see the monument’s Christmas tree all lit up, get some Starbucks, drive up Meridian to enjoy all the twinkly lights. I’d make something simple for the girls’ teachers. I would make hot cocoa and bake chocolate gingerbread to get us all in the spirit. I’d shop online, sure, but also, The Mister and I would take a day to shop alone. Imagine us, hand in hand, a whole day to ourselves, walking around and exploring gift possibilities. We’d have lunch and maybe we’d even have time for broad daylight sexing. I’d go to the post office last week, mail all the parcels out…
Instead, Ferrealiously *:
“What do you mean you sold the roasting pan I borrow every year?”
One wicked bladder infection.
A week without caffeine or alcohol.
Duct tape, because we really should buy a new tree, but not during kittenhood.
Fevered Moo Motrined-up for a choir performance.
“I didn’t know there would be touching!”
“Maybe they shouldn’t share recorders!”
Free hand sanitizer for any child that touched Moo during the performance.
Four doctor’s appointments, blood draw, urine culture, nose swab, plus the phrase, “Women of a certain age…”
Two boxes of sthuper-sthpecial-sthoft tissthues.
“Put the Eucerin on your nose, or I’ll smack it!”
A fucking Pacers game during the lighting of the tree, traffic most unholy.
Drafty window casing.
A murdered Santa, or at the least, a pantsed one.
A Rosacea flare-up.
“You can’t put a hold on this book, I haven’t finished reading it!”
Two tension headaches.
“Look, my pee is the color of a sunset!”
When people tell you what size their kids are, believe them.
One kid with the flu.
One kid with a cold.
Five new prescriptions, but only one sent to a different pharmacy, seven miles farther.
A husband caught up in finals, group projects, and presentations.
Canceled date night.
Ran out of postage in the S’s of the address book.
It’s sad that one whole side of my family is in the Y’s, isn’t it?
I gave the girls’ teachers not one, but two puking kids.
Don’t act like you’re not jealous.
Oh now, some good things happened anyway:
Everyone made the honor roll.
The Mister got promoted.
I bought some of those mint M&M candies I liked so much last year.
But most importantly, none of the other six million bad things that could have happened did, leaving us ample time to count those six million blessings.
It’s been truly hectic over here.
Which is why I am happy to announce…
IT’S WINTER BREAK!
While some would say it’s been togetherness time all along, I would argue that no one wishes she could spend more time holding back sister’s hair while she pukes, and no one wants to discuss gift ideas through instant messages as the kids hack and snot into their laps…
No, we want some of this. At least until our hips hurt and we can’t feel our feet…
*Ferrealiously is a word Moo invented when she spoke of her love for broccoli.
How has your holiday time been, Ferrealiously?