WhY DiD TypiNg LiKe ThiS BeCoMe a THinG? Was theRe a PuRpoSe? DoeS It MeAn SOMeTHinG? Am i DoiNG iT RiGHT?
Why do people wear woolen caps in the summer?
Why do we congratulate people when they get married and then again when they get divorced? “Good job finding that spouse!” “Good job getting rid of that same spouse!” Odd, non? Maybe congratulations is why some people think marriage is an accomplishment?
Do the people who think the president controls the gas prices still think that when prices are low?
Why is it hard for people to understand gender identity? Plenty of people color their hair. Maybe she looks like a brunette, but she feels like a blonde, so she sees the colorist and we’re none the wiser. Why does anyone care?
Do blonde jokes still count when you’re a bottle-blonde?
Why don’t more people like my Facebook page?
What the fuck are people doing in those enormous glass showers?
Why does it take some people ten minutes or more to try on a pair of pants?
If people are already proponents of creationism, why is it hard to believe their deity created evolution? Have you seen how humans breed canines, or how humans create hybrid fruits and flowers? Is their deity not capable of that? I wouldn’t want a deity who didn’t understand science.
If people don’t believe in a deity because there’s no absolute proof, why is it so easy for those same people to believe in aliens, despite the lack of absolute proof?
Why is it that we all have that one thin friend who out-eats us and never gains a pound, and we all have that one thick friend who out-exercises us and never loses a pound?
Why don’t men wear painful things to exhibit their desirability? It must be such a burden to walk around with loose breasts and in comfortable shoes, and no, I’m not totally jealous.
Why is it so hard to understand that other people’s addictions make them feel just as good and just as miserable as our own addictions?
If it’s so important that we all go to heaven, shouldn’t heaven sound good to everyone? Is there a less-luxe heaven for those who prefer a more casual eternity?
If there are animals in heaven, that’s gonna be a real bitch for all those people who pretended to have allergies, right?
If summer’s so fantastic, then why the hell is hell hot?
Is caste system reincarnation on a bell curve, a sliding scale, or a standard grading system?
What is the proper spiritual response when a stream of fire ants climb into your coffee?
Those people who are all like, “We keep the romance alive by keeping our bathroom time private,” — Who brings them toilet paper from the other bathroom when the kids let it run out? Who brings them a cold rag when they vomit? Who takes them to the bathroom when their nails are wet?
Why do I always hafta pee when I finish painting my nails?
How long before we can pay per view of anything without contracts? I want a system where I can watch what I want to watch without subscription. I’d be happy to pay a la carte.
How long before everything in our homes becomes wireless? I hate wires. I don’t want to hide them in a tube, I don’t want to tape them to the legs of furniture, I do not want them hidden in the drywall, I just don’t want to deal with wires, EVER.
How is that man on ESPN allowed to wear that dreadful shiny hair-hat, when obviously he’s on television?
Why do we call it football? Obviously soccer is football.
Why is there a long orange extension cord on the streetlight across from me?
Why does so much of the internet read like old Cosmo articles?
Why do people believe everything they read on the internet? Don’t they have Google? AHAHAHA!
For a long time, I thought barely liked anyone else’s children, but then I realized that a lot of the adults I don’t like are actually someone else’s children. Oh, okay, that’s not a wonder…