It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere

I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving and my birthday yesterday. I sure enjoyed it.

I’m going to ramble a bit, a lil nonsense never hurt anyone, right?

So, first of all, my in-laws went to Granny’s and we stayed home. This is all fine and good. I am forced to admit, the problem with not having Thanksgiving with my MIL is that now I hafta wait until our December celebration to eat her stuffing. Also, what I really like is how she usta let me clean out the huge yellow bowl of raw stuffing dregs. I’ve got to figure out when to ‘stop by’ for an ‘impromptu’ visit. I’m wondering if FIL would be willing to secretly telephone me when he’s given the task of tearing up bread…
Sage — Oh MIL’s stuffing, I love you so.
I made Stove Top. Only Sassy and I eat it and we like it any version of gluten fine. “Mmm, herbed bread,” says Sassy. We all know MIL would tell me how to make the stuffing, but we all know I’d rather she just make it.
Next year, maybe I’ll be all “I want raw stuffing for my birthday!” Y’all don’t even know.

I dunno how many turkeys I’ve cooked. I’ve done turkey in a bag, brined turkey, basting the fuck out of the turkey, turning the turkey breast-down for the last hour, and for several turkeys, I’ve done it True’s overnight way. I’ll be honest, I’ve never messed up the turkey. Every year, it’s delicious and every year it leaves plenty of drippings for gravy.
This did not stop me from having turkey ruination nightmares all week.
This year I did my first dry roasted turkey, and I’m sold. I think this is the way I will do turkey forever. Pat it dry, rub it, shove things up its ass, put it in the oven and leave it the hell alone. So nice low-maintenance turkey.


his name was theodore

Now I’ve moved on to having hair color disaster dreams.

No, YOU’RE obvious struggling with reality!

One of my Facebook friends wished me a birthday early, because of time zones, and a bunch of my other Facebook friends freaked out and thought my birthday was the 25th, which it was, in Japan, because time zones, haha, and that was pretty funny.

It didn’t feeeeel like my birthday yesterday. I don’t even feel older. I like to think those new memory foam mats in the kitchen helped with that. And maybe a lil splash of bourbon. Tomorrow might be a good day to write 9000 words about floors.

My birthday cards arrived today, as is the norm.
My mother was all, “That took over a week!” She said Moo’s will probably be late, too. Then we bitched about postal service. When I lived in Georgia (which in case you don’t know, on a map, Georgia is right on top of Florida, because proximity to Florida is directly related to how awful a place can be) I would mail a pile of stuff and inevitably, things arrived to England, Canada, Indiana, and New Mexico before they got to my mother in Florida. I told her today that I believe she lives in a postally challenged environment and she replied, “Well yeah. Our insurance agent didn’t get a computer til 2011, they still dig ditches by hand, annnd they start building footings with batter board! Bunch-o-Cracker hicks. And to think I am one! Lordy me!”
Oh the LOLZ!

I miss my mother.
Dry turkey sammiches taste better at her house.

Someday, not tomorrow, I will write about my USPS Trials & Tribulations. Lawd, that’ll make you say hmm.

Maybe I’ll write posts all day and clog up your Reader or maybe I’ll eat these leftovers and watch Office Space. Hard to say, really. It’s still early, and these jammies are so comfy.

I feel like we should play Mario Kart, too.

Oh. No. Gotta get a tree. But then I’ll totally put these jammies back on. Wait, the trees will still be there tomorrow?

You know what? No! I’m not having an existential crisis and lookin for ways to escape my angst. Now be a dear and make me a cocktail, will ya? It’s already five o’clock in Japan, AmIRight?

Lucy Ricardo

How was your Thursday? How are your nerves?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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34 Responses to It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere

  1. LindaGHill says:

    Ha! Yeah, 5am. Hey, here’s an idea. Get everyone to post your birthday cards next year from Japan. They’ll arrive a day early. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That turkey looks good. A sandwich and whatever Lucy’s peddling sounds pretty good.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, belated! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jan says:

    We laid low yesterday – Christmas is enough stress that I take T-day off.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dan Antion says:

    I like nonsense. I also like turkey sandwiches and leftover stuffing. And pie, there’s one piece of pie left. I’ll always be willing to pour you a glass an hour before your time.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Benson says:

    Happy Birthday One Day Later. You are right it is 5 O’clock somewhere. How about a Manhattan? I hear those are kinda’ tasty You made a good looking bird that’s for sure. I always dry rub my bird. I love stuffing/dressing too. Only white bread dressing for bird. Cornbread and white for pig. I think I may have changed a tradition. Instead of Caroline’s I used St Brendan’s Irish Cream Liqueur. Pretty tasty with coffee. Would you like some?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jewels says:

    Happy belated birthday Joey! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Anxious Mom says:

    You eat raw stuffing? In the way that one would eat raw cake batter?

    My nerves are just fine, thanks to not getting out in the Thanksgetting mess! And to not being responsible for more than making more than two foods.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wide-eyed says:

    Happy birthday! Well belated. I always get awfully depressed for some reason whenever my birthday rolls around–it doesn’t even have to do with the whole getting older thing, I have no idea why that is.
    And that turkey looks great

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thank you and thanks! Terrible you get depressed around your birthday. Is it a seasonal thing then? When is your birthday?
      I don’t care about aging either. I can’t imagine you do 😛 Too young!

      I am not depressed, but I am the recipient of bad news. Oh Poo. I will bounce back. Already feeling better today 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Happy Birdday! Oh wait, that was yesterday. But then so was Thanksgiving, and your birthday. Anyway, Happy belated birthday and bird day, Joey.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. April says:

    Since I don’t particularly like turkey, it doesn’t get much special treatment when I cook it. Since we always threw away the dark meat, I now buy a turkey breast. I rinse it and pat it dry, then put it in the oven and wait. The turkey eaters seem to enjoy it so I guess I’m good. Happy belated birthday wishes to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Well, happy birthday and happy thankgiving. It must be a hell of time to have thanksgiving, your birthday, and Christmas so close together.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Deborah says:

    Happy Birthday! If we could just take away stress as a birthday gift, life would be a better place. That’s what I keep telling myself. I’m working on ways to just go through the stress without hurting anyone. And I didn’t even cook for Thanksgiving.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Well I sure wish I could reduce your stress as well. How about you and I take a nice long trek through the snow, some hot toddies, and a good, long nap 🙂


  14. Norm 2.0 says:

    A belated happy birthday to you my friend. Enjoy the leftovers and save me a turkey sammich 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Sherry says:

    yes mail takes time…I screwed up twice, once the card arrived a day late…mother hung up on me both times as I recall…she had no forgiveness in her….lol…like turkey smoked, brined, dry brined…and grilled…gonna do a breast only for christmas…think it will be brined and then grilled….making a wild rice dressing for Christmas….have made all sorts, with chestnuts and oysters, cornbread, regular bread, cheese? yes cheese too…with meat without meat…hmmmm…and I struggle to find the perfect one…someday no doubt….

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I like cornbread stuffing, too. I dunno about cheese in the stuffing. I don’t think I’ve tried it. Wild rice is on my agenda this weekend, but I haven’t had wild rice stuffing either…I am intrigued!


  16. reocochran says:

    Happy belated Birthday, Joey. I hope i said it on the day you spoke of combined birthday and Thanksgiving? 🙂
    I may have to check back another couple of posts. I liked our celebration on Thanksgiving with Mom fully delighted with baby Hendrix and the M & M girls. Everyone was so nice, food delicious mainly made by son and my brother, artist Randy.
    Yesterday, I had a lazy stay at home Friday. Today, I was having fun letting posts that were scheduled drop into place and keeping busy in Mom’s apt and senior living “world.” We decorated for Christmas and she wrote painfully slow 4 Christmas cards. That was it. Hallmark channel, brother brought homemade turkey soup for lunch. Take it easy, Joey. Happy Sunday. ♡

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I’m postally more challenged than Florida so my birthday wishes come a week late. In any case, I’m on your side. Seems like fun.

    Liked by 1 person

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