Y is for Yearning

I enjoy the A-Z Challenge most days.
What I’ve noticed, regardless of letters, is that I yearn to write freely.

I actually yearn to write random posts about the stuff of life. I miss it. I feel sorta repressed. I need a rant.

I want to tell you how on Wednesday, Moo was supposed to have a track meet at the high school. Moo came to me with papers that morning, because that’s how kids are. I hadda sign a waiver and agree to drop her off at 5. My first thought was no. 
Seriously, I am not one of those mothers who goes on about the taxiing of children, because most of my readers are parents who have been there, done that, and got the tee-shirt…but…
I’m sick of it! I am! And this time of year is the absolute worst, because I get the spring fever, too! I don’t wanna go sit in the bleachers anywhere, ever. We had just had a music thingy where THE TEACHER LET PEOPLE ASK QUESTIONS BEFORE THE END! Fuckin amateurs, Man!

But anyway, track thingy, more bleachers for me! And in the sun!
But wait, it was raining! I said, “It’ll prolly be canceled. Sposta rain all day and night.”

I’ve reached the stage in parenting where I feel I should be given a free pass on all the meetings at school. I’m not nervous or excited about any of it. I don’t have any questions. Shouldn’t my student be the one to go to meetings? Couldn’t this all be done in a bloody email?!?
I ranted a bit.
Do schools even realize most parents work? Or that they have smaller children to care for? I don’t, but I have, and this always ticks me off. Don’t worry, I’m mad enough for all the other parents, too.
Moo said parents weren’t invited.
I am like, the only mother ever who is happy not to be invited. Forgive me.

I signed the forms and decided I’d pick Sassy up at 4 and go to Aldi quick and drop Moo at 5.
“How will I know when to pick you up? Is Mrs M goin?” Well Moo didn’t know.

I told Sassy to make sure to look for my messages in the afternoon, since I didn’t know what would happen.

At 10:30 Moo called to tell me Mrs M would be at the track meet and I could pick her up at 7.
At 1:11 Moo rang to tell me the track meet had been canceled because of rain.
At 2:00 the school’s automated call told me the track meet was canceled due to inclement weather.

By then, I had given up trying to nap and sorta wandered around my house bein pissy at things that didn’t matter. Like: why people keep taggin me in everything on fb? why we have no cheeseburger machine? why this dog hasta pee again? why these plums not ripe?

At 3:00 I let Sassy know that I would pick her up at school around 4.
At 3:45 I picked Moo up from running, but forgot I needed to drive her little friend home on Wednesdays, too. I forgot in a way that my brain said oh aren’t betsy’s glasses cute? *wave* why betsy is with moo? oh fuck, joey, you gotta take betsy home. Betsy only knows the way to her house per the bus route, so it’s quite a windy-dindy sorta drive through her neighborhood.
At 3:50 the township called to tell me the track meet was canceled due to inclement weather.
At 4:08 I picked Sassy up. Sassy had been worried.

I hated that non-existent track meet so much.

In the car, Moo told me she needed foam tubing and her friend got some at Menards for $1.
“Not tonight!” I said with some restraint.

I went to the Aldi and got our food-foods for the week. After that, we still needed about ten non-food items and we were gettin low on coffee, so on Wednesday night, I told myself I’d need to go out Thursday as well, to a big store and to Fresh Thyme (because I am in love with their Decaf French Roast) and then to the Menards for foam tubing. Yay. Three errands.

Thursday morning came and I felt so tired, how one does on Thursdays, that I couldn’t think of any reason why I should have to go out to the big stores. I thought it was a perfect day to gawk at doors, scrub the master bath up, weed, read a book, and generally jack around.

I mean, y’all, I feel like this iris looks. Bleh. Also, shut up and pollinate me.


Tired me questioned my compulsion. i don’t know why you think you hafta go today. you have all the food. still have toilet paper…

I didn’t go to the big stores.
I tried to understand Moo’s newest science dooji. As far as I can understand, it’s like a roller coaster for marbles, like the old Mouse Trap game. Foam tubing, though, is pretty vague.
“Do you need foam tubing like in plumbing, where it’s black or gray, or what?”
“No, like colored tubing.”

… colored foam tubing…

“Like pool noodles?” Moo isn’t great with words.
“Yes! Do you know where a Dollar General is?”
“Yes. It’s next to the Family Dollar. Why?”
“One of my friends found tubing there.”
even better! closer! non-food items! yes! we shall go to dollar general! woo-hoo!

I have never been excited about going to Dollar General. I was just so tired.

I loaded up their arms with toothpaste and shampoo and tp and shaving cream BUT THERE WERE NO POOL NOODLES!

We had to go to Menards anyway.
How sad.
The pool noodles were not $1, either.
But they have Tootsie Rolls at Menards, big 2-packs of Tootsie Rolls for $1. I’d be lying if I didn’t mention that helped.

I ended up going out again, because my desire to eat a cheeseburger outweighed my desire to stand in the kitchen tending risotto. The mere thought of washing asparagus was enough to stifle my will to live.

Before bed, I made coffee for the morning.
fuck. that’s why you were supposed to go to fresh thyme today!

I told The Mister last night, about how I forgot about the coffee. I said he could still take my car today, but that Moo’s foamy things were in it. I said I’d take the van, maybe go to Dunkin Donuts before I took Sassy to school. I could get myself a lil double double and get her a donut and pick up a pound of coffee.

This morning, I told Sassy to get ready and not to dawdle, because sometimes I think she dawdles in an effort to miss her bus so I have to drive her. That’s when I remembered I was supposed to drive her SO I COULD GET COFFEE!

Do you know how many people are in line at Dunkin Donuts on a Friday?!?

I will go to Fresh Thyme on Monday. I will. I will get the good coffee and fish and kefir and produce.

You can’t make me go out this weekend. Not unless it’s a DoorScursion or there’s ice cream involved. Nope. Not gonna.

Dammit. I’ve just realized I have to see Moo perform tomorrow! I’ll go to that. But that’s all.

How’s your spring fever manifesting? How’s your anxiety level? How’s A-Z goin for ya? How many stale, unnecessary meetings have you been to this week? How tired are you?


About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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59 Responses to Y is for Yearning

  1. meANXIETYme says:

    I just…can’t…so much overload. Just reading it was too much for me…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. orbthefirst says:

    My spring fever/high anxiety/need to GTFO is pretty hardcore lately, actually. Its rained for about a month straight now, and Im going NUTS. In fact, my GTFO bag is fully stocked, just waiting for me to go…somewhere. Dunno yet. Trail probably, if it ever dries up around here. And my hammock & tarp setups call to me. Away from this “place” people call a town.
    Docs pissed me right off earlier this week. That was pretty nuts, as far as “meetings” go.
    And Insane Neighbors have “missed me lately” according to the Mother Unit. Might need to go sharpen knives out on the porch to curb their enthusiasm. Or something.

    But its getting nicer, so I may just run away for a bit yet. Soon. 😀
    Hope your next week is less hectic.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dan Antion says:

    I love your rants. I have been there and done that, but with only one child, I can only feel some of your pain.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ally Bean says:

    April always makes me anxious. For me, it’s the indecisive weather. At least this year, by doing the A To Z Challenge I distracted myself from it, although writing for the challenge has been it’s own little world of anxiety. So there’s that. Looking forward to May.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Norm 2.0 says:

    Geez, I’m exhausted and all I did was read about it.
    BTW, the track meet is still cancelled 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Carrie Rubin says:

    One of the benefits of having teenagers is this all starts to disappear. I still drive my youngest, but he has his permit so soon he’ll taxi himself. Of course, that’s scary in its own right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      It is scary. Yes, indeed. Now and again I ride with Bubba, and I do my very best not to freak out. You know, try to make him feel as adult as he is, but um… a coupla excursions ago the girls were with us, and I was terrible nervous, couldn’t bite my tongue.

      Also — I think it’s important my kids drive as soon as law permits, because I’m more scared thinking about them riding with friends. :/

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Benson says:

    Brava. Someone with the guts to say they don’t want to go to EVERY event their little kiddies are in. A fourth grade concert. Sure;what fun. I always felt guilty about those feelings and went. My Spring fever is coming right along. I would love to go on a long trip. In the meantime I just drive around the city unencumbered by any responsibilities what so ever. Hope you have a nice and quiet weekend with no surprises.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Thank you 🙂
      They just make everything into some sorta hoopla. Like, we don’t need all that, we just need the information.
      Enjoy your carefree drives!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Nice to know that some things are universal. The comments are reassuring that it’s not just me!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. joannesisco says:

    I love your rants. It’s like a bad mood enema. I don’t know about you, but I feel better 😉

    btw – if I ever discovered there was no coffee – or cream!! – for breakfast the next morning, I would have a complete meltdown. It wouldn’t be pretty. I’d be driving somewhere – I wouldn’t care how late it was, or how cranky I was – I’d be searching for coffee (or cream!!) for the next morning.
    Starting my morning without a good cup of coffee is simply unthinkable. I’ve been know to travel with a bodum, and my own coffee (& cream!!). I might have issues.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. larva225 says:

    I’m only finishing up my first year of kindergarten with my kids, and I have decided that schools are trying to actively skewer any kind of professional opportunity I may ever have again. I think they design their calendars and activities to be as absolutely inconvenient to working parents as possible. And can they ever plan ANYTHING before the last possible minute? Because no one has jobs, activities, or other children, RIGHT? Sorry. Hit a nerve.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      That nerve is real though! My oldest is 23 and so I can tell you with certainty that YES, I am older and grumpier than I used to be, but it absolutely HAS gotten worse.
      I think this all the time, about the working and the single parents and the hauling kids around. The middle & high school has activity buses for afters, but to drop them off somewhere at 5? Meetings at 4, 4:40, 5:00? Seriously?
      How about those day plays and concerts? I can imagine asking a boss for an hour off to go see my child pose in the shape of the alphabet for 10 minutes at 11am. I can just imagine.
      As a person with an education background and four kids, I hate to say it, but we may have grown too child-centered as a society.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. My work week has been just like that. Since it’s work, I won’t discuss it further, but I understand.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Chez Shea says:

    It does all get to be a real drag attending these things year after year! Good to have a rant.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I understand this rant. And Spring is the very worst for student/parent/sports obligations. I thought I might miss it all when they got grown…not so much. You have my sympathy. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  14. jan says:

    Track meets are always rough for me – hay fever! Allergies… ugh. Sunburn, bees, ants. My children are on their own but I still remember the agony of science projects! Hang in there!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. kimkasualty says:

    Hah, my school was the opposite, there was only one meeting a year, and that was parent teacher day and even then that’s optional. Over here the only things parents do is sign forms and pay money for fees, if you want to know what your kids are up to you need to call or read the newsletter, otherwise schools assume the parents don’t care (because they usually don’t). These posts always make me more hesitant in wanting/having kids, I guess they’re worth it in the end right, even with all the crap involved with schools.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Kids aren’t for everyone, but for those who love parenting, it’s amazing what kids are “worth” and what we’ll endure for them. School crap barely grazes the edges of loving sacrifice.
      It sounds like your schools are a lot more laissez-faire, and I would prefer that.

      Liked by 2 people

      • kimkasualty says:

        They do have an option for parents to volunteer in the school program if parents want to be involved, but otherwise yes, our schools are pretty well that new word I just learnt.

        Liked by 1 person

  16. ghostmmnc says:

    That made me tired just to read how your day went. Those days are long gone for me, now, but I sure remember them! It does get better. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Like ghostmmnc above, I’m tired just to read your day. But I have been there. With four kids. So I get you. And you know, for my youngest son, I was so eager to stop setting foot in a school. Forever. But now that they are gone to college, sometimes when I drive past a school, a pang of nostalgia hits me. You’re right, though, about the excess of requests from the schools toward parents. It’s easier for the staff since this is their job. Parents have double shifts when they have to attend lots of school events. I loved most of them but once in a while thought too much is too much.
    Good luck. The end of the school year is almost there.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. This was really funny. And why don’t you have a cheeseburger machine? Seems like that would be a necessity.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. marianallen says:

    Oh, God, NOT THE COFFEE HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE COFFEE???? The best part about getting old is your kids are too old to need you to take them places and the grandkids have to come fetch you if they want you because you can always play the forgetful card.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Haha! I’m writing this down now, Marian!
      I don’t know how I could forget the coffee, but the good news is I buy when we’re low and not out, so we’ve managed to avoid coffeemergencies! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Thank you for sharing this and writing about what you wanted. I was told 5 minutes before bedtime Thursday night, “oh by the way. …” Any mother knows that = some sort of last minute scramble. I was able to engineer an egg catcher in under 5 minutes. #winning. Send the Mister out for the coffee and enjoy your home time. PS this is typically the time of year I say to heck with reading logs and homework. PPS Mine are super cranky due to 1.7 billion hours of standardized testing.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. My anxiety levels are horrible. I can barely leave the house. Something about the light…I’m usually more anxious at Spring but this year’s the worse!


    • joey says:

      Oh no. That’s terrible! That must be so hard for you, knowing it’s coming. I understand and I’m knocking wood because I haven’t been sick this spring. Yet.
      Why the light? You do better with less light?

      Liked by 1 person

      • This is how my most excellent shrink explains it: really bad things happened one Spring and the part of me that remembers relives the fear and I experience that as a panic attack.

        So it’s a combination of the time of year and light.

        My heart begins to pound and my legs refuse to move.

        It’s as if I’m immobilized.

        The reason the panic attacks are worse is I’m getting better and more information is being shared between the alters.

        If one has gone to the bother of creating an elaborate system of denial to cope with reality any attempt to end the system will incite extreme resistance.

        Once again I’m reminded of the GOP. 😉


        • joey says:

          I understand. It is awful to face our triggers, especially the ones that are commonplace, like the return of spring.


          • I’d love to have these panic attacks go away.

            I force myself to walk to all appointments or to do chores because the worst thing I can do is let myself whither up indoors.

            It’s been going on for years.

            By the time I arrive for appointments or to shop at a store I am dripping in sweat. It’s so embarrassing because I’m soaked as if I just came in from a drenching rain.

            But I can’t let the opinions of strangers stop me either.

            I accept that I’m the sweat hog that shows up on Friday’s at Walgreen’s.

            I’m surprised they haven’t given me a free case of antiperspirant


  22. reocochran says:

    I yearn to be free range with my writing but I decided after writing long essays a few years back and many people dropping off to sleep to quit, take pictures and write little cute things or sometimes deep things down. I admire how you write and tell us stories and you make them freaking interesting. I want to know more about Moo’s track meets when you have to go! I want to know about the art/project/ ? and also, why don’t you know the shortcut to Betsy’s house? by now.Fun stuff and I have to say, I get up at 5 am and head to work get home after 8, if I go to the library, I am definitely “Bleh” or “Blah” or something deranged and hungry. Love ya, Joey! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      You are a poet at heart, but I would read your essays, which I’m sure would be full of imagery.
      Moo’s project is for physics, and I haven’t seen it yet. They’re still building it.
      Betsy’s neighborhood is one of those made up of a series of curves and cul-de-sacs, and although her street is called one thing where she lives, it’s called another name by the school. Moo has a few friends in that neighborhood, as did I when I was a kid, and I can’t even. It’s hard to explain. If you ever visit, I’ll show you.
      I try not to be a mommy blog, so I don’t mention too many of their things, or too often, anyway.
      Much love to you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • reocochran says:

        I had to come back to see what on earth I said which gave me a special shout out from my Indiana friend, Joey. I have been in confusing new neighborhoods where it is not right nor fair to create crooked, winding streets where there are cul de sac’s thrown in. I was just thinking about round-abouts, we have been getting four way stops taken our around here only to create rule-less, almost insane traffic patterns where you rely on the other person to get with the program! 🙂 Thank you again, Joey. One of these days we will plan a time I will head on over and get to see some of your life and city. Much love sent back!

        Liked by 1 person

  23. garym6059 says:

    Kind of missed a good ole Joey rant! Now that The Alphabet Games are over will we get more!

    Liked by 1 person

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