Five or Six Weekends

I pulled into the drive last night and found my first tulip had opened. I took a photo, but it’s blurry.


I think you can tell, from what’s goin on around that tulip, what I need to do with my weekend. What WE need to do.

It’s time for spring cleaning in the yard. Pickin up sticks, pullin up blankets of leaves, yankin baby trees out, lil raking, lil sweeping, cleaning off siding. That’s all for now.  Too early to plant, too early to sow. Snow and ice may well come again.


This weekend’s weather looks promising so far. It’ll be 50-65 and no rain. I don’t put a lot of faith in the weather predictions staying accurate, but I bet either Saturday or Sunday will be a good day to start.

The list for spring is a little overwhelming, but there are five or six weekends in which to accomplish them.


I’m in charge. (The bossy person who not only does most of it, but tells other people what to do.) Apparently everyone else here would gladly live in a house slick with moss, vines and debris covering the drive, maple trees growing in the gutters, leftover tornado BRANCHES SITTING ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE for all of eternity.


After almost a year, The Mister unloaded the tiller from the back of the van and put it in the garage. You know, cause both doors were already open. We’re very proud of him.
While I’m sure he’d like that to be his one garden-related activity for the entire year, this is not the case.

Moo is usually helpful with garden tasks, right up to the point where she tells her sister what to do. For several years, Sassy was excused from some of the nature tasks, bartering her way into bein the house bitch. “Mama, I will dust everything and clean all the floors while y’all work outside. I’ll even do the bathrooms! The ceiling fan! I’ll start dinner!”
I don’t know if she’s come to appreciate nature, if she felt left out, or if she tired of her little sister knowing more than she herself does, but last year, she didn’t give me any grief and humbly admitted, in that teenager-y way, “I sorta like this part,” (planting) “and trimming shrubs isn’t too bad.”


Of course, kids still have to fight while they do outdoor chores. Accidentally on purpose striking one another with large limbs or one closing the gate on the other. They’ll fuss over who goes to the creepy shed or into the garage of spiders. They’ll actually compete for jobs, though, and try to one-up one another with the force of their brooms.
“No, Sassy, not like that, LIKE THIS!”

It is The Mister’s job to close. Once we peons have accomplished a great deal, he will be dragged from the sofa come out and pull up all the baby trees I can’t. He will act like this kills him. There will be certain trees he has to take a shovel or a saw to, and we must all watch him with reverence. After that, he has to rub his back and make some scrunched faces indicative of his pain and suffering. All the while, he can point-out any undone labor on the part of the children, who by then, hate us both and one another.

Then we’ll sit outside with a beverage, make nice, and watch the grass grow.

Ah, yes, spring. Five or six weekends of that. Depending on the weather.

What’s your spring look like?

About joey

Neurotic Bitch, Mother, Wife, Writer, Word Whore, Foodie and General Go-To-Girl
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64 Responses to Five or Six Weekends

  1. Dan Antion says:

    Hmmmm, I’ve been searching for a part of this I want to relate to. I got nothin’ except “sit outside with a beverage” – I can do that.

    The Mrs is pretty good with most tasks. We have a small and fairly low-maintenance yard. I have been told that there are a few chores that demand my talent/strength/willingness to start a chainsaw. When’s that beverage coming?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Josh Wrenn says:

    My Spring currently is still suffering from bouts of winter, but it seems to be changing. The cherry blossoms are blossoming!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve been keeping up with the weeding, so I’m good there. The neighbors pulled out the GREAT hedge that separates our front yards last week and have been planting and scaping desert dry washes, and putting in drought tolerant plants and totally ripped out their lawn.
    They did put in a new hedge of some sort but, it’s all individual plants and needs a year or two to fill in. Which left us with us with a new strip of dirt 15inches wide and 20ft long to deal with on our side of that used to be hedge of theirs.

    He-Man was all in for planting flowers or bushes, but I think we should just add some tan bark and see what happens when that new hedge fulls out a bit.

    Kathleen, (our neighbor) told me Sunday afternoon the fence we share is falling apart and needs replacing. ?? “It looks great on our side and it’s not sagging or anything” I said. She said,” You’ll have to come over and look at our side. We’ve been bracing, and propping it up all winter.” A new fence on the east side of the house will have to be put in soon, and He-Man says it’s time to replace our furnace.
    Sigh. No wonder I am always broke! 🙂 That’s how my Spring is shaping up at Rabbit Hollow…our little piece of Heaven in Suburbia. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Rabbit Hollow sounds nice though 🙂
      I second your call on waiting to see what the hedge looks like after some time has passed. Wood chips are so low maintenance 😉 If they’re putting in drought-tolerant species, anything else would hog what little water those would get, so if you do, it’d be best to get more of that stuff. I’m sure it’ll be much more attractive in a few years.
      Here, I aim for a similar theory, but different application — because Midwest. More plants, less lawn. Fortunately most of my lawn is shaded, so it’s really only a section that needs to be planted for drought.
      Bummer about the fences. Fencing is so costly, and we’d like A LOT more of it, so I can relate.
      And the furnace, too?!? Oh I dread the day.
      Best of luck!

      Liked by 1 person

      • When we remodeled the house and the whole front yard ripped out and that was the last thing we needed to do I lobbied hard for no lawn, but He-Man loves grass/lawn, and he enjoys mowing it. So, we compromised I got mostly stamped cement, and he got a little lawn.

        Thankfully, we’ll split the cost of that part of fence replacement with our neighbor so while painful to the wallet, looking on the bright side; it could be a whole lot worse. 🙂

        I named our house Rabbit Hollow b/c He-Man’s name means little white rabbit in Polish. His Dad sadly no longer with us was 1 gen. American.
        My last name is pretty boring and dead common. Sharp. Yeah, I couldn’t come up with anything cute for that so Rabbit Hollow it is. 🙂

        We thought about replacing the furnace when we did the remodel, but we hoped it would hang in a few more years, and we could upgrade some other items; bathroom vanities, doors, stuff like that with the money not spent on the furnace.
        But, He-Man is losing confidence in that strategy now and doesn’t think the heater will last another winter. 😦


        • joey says:

          Oh it’s very sad about the furnace. 😦 Better safe than sorry, eh?

          I like Rabbit Hollow. You’re right, Sharp is no name for a house. I’ve oft wanted to name mine, but nothing has come. I say, “Hi Home,” when I pull in, though, so I think she’s okay with it. 😉

          I wish our neighbors wanted to go in on the fencing. *sigh* But it wouldn’t benefit them.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I wish I had your motivation for lawn tasks.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sounds great! It’s such a terrific feeling to see everything neat and tidy in the garden. I love this time of year! But, sitting in the garden among the flowers and trees with a beverage is my favorite part. Enjoy! 🙂 🌱🐝

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Carrie Rubin says:

    I sent my youngest son out to pick up all the twigs and branches in the yard after a recent storm. We recently moved to a townhome, so the yard is tiny. Tiny. But he still acted like he was saving the day with his back-breaking efforts. 😄

    Liked by 2 people

  7. orbthefirst says:

    Spring means running to the store for myself (FINALLY,) mail getting duty, garbage detail, and eyeballing the trail til its dry enough to disappear on for a day or so. Oh, and maybe getting my fishing license this year.

    Not much for the yardwork though..just badgering the Mother Unit about the dishwasher thats been back there for about 3 years now…:P

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lawns are one of my least favorite chores. Probably because I kill everything. When the boys had to use the post-hole diggers to plants some trees and rebuild the fence we discovered that the ground in Roanoke is VERY rocky. Not so interested in doing tons of planting. However, the beverage in hand I can get behind! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I understand all of this. I’ve needed to prune fruit trees since November, but it was foggy, rainy, snowy, cold, muddy, etc.I’ll get to it before fruit forms.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. loisajay says:

    Spring is here in full force already. I tend to like my gardens on the wild side, so when the comment is made that something needs to be cleared, my stock answer is : “I meant for it to grow that way.” Then I go out and piddle around and all is well! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I want my energy back – this stuff used to be fun.

    I spent an hour in a plastic chair the other day pulling weeds, just because it gave me a reason to be out.

    This may be our last year in this house; now to find someone who likes well-established perennials planted for hummingbirds and bees and butterflies.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Oh, Alicia, I’m sorry :/ I’m glad you were able to get out and bother the weeds, but I do wish you were feeling better.
      I think it was 2015, I spent most of spring sick and unable to do much until well into May. I cursed a lot and pissed and moaned about it all summer, really. Felt like being sick over a holiday. 😦
      I missed home so much, cause I didn’t grow a lot down south in the sand. I really enjoy my gardening 100x more than I did before. Just so grateful to be home. I don’t see us ever leaving here, but there will be a time come when we’ll have to get help. What am I saying, we still need help from time to time. Bush hog guy, sometimes mower guy, sometimes, you know.
      Until then, I’m going to enjoy it. And if you do move house, I hope you get a lot of pleasure from your flora and fauna in the meantime 🙂


      • We’re past the help stage: it gets to be so much work arranging for the help, and replacing it, and doing the job if the guy doesn’t show up (he fell off a roof)…

        THAT’s what’s getting us. We can afford to get help – but it’s dominating our life to be in charge.

        Stay as long as you can – enjoy – things will change some day – or they won’t if you’re the hale and hearty kind. I wish that for you.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. JoAnna says:

    Since my kids don’t live with me anymore, it’s about time I got some help. Especially with those baby trees. Ugh. I had planned to pull them out over the winter when they were sleeping, but didn’t get around to it/avoided it, though I did snip a few small ones trying not to think about it. Now I want to pay someone to do it and not watch. Enjoy those family outings while you still can! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Right? It may well be time for some help. Gettin those trees out is obviously back-breaking work! Some of the ones that are rooted along the concrete or asphalt, all we can do is cut them back over and over.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Anxious Mom says:

    Ah, man drama 😀

    My spring looks like 82 degrees today. Sigh.

    We need to do most of the stuff you mentioned. If I can get Sam to clean the siding of the house, it’d be a miracle. There’s a nice clean patch in the front, where he started it last fall and didn’t finish, so the rest needs to be done. And we need to spray for ants and figure out where I’m gonna plant the few things. Plus redo the fake flower baskets since they’re looking rough.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Benson says:

    My Spring won’t be nearly as productive as yours. You actually do stuff. You and your lovely family. Enjoy.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Prajakta says:

    Overall people become happier and more productive in spring 🙂 A resurgence of energy! Hope you enjoy your time. I am so jealous! there is an advisory in India warning of an early heat wave this week – It is not even April and the temperatures are 100+

    Liked by 1 person

  16. You make a very good point about breaking down the overwhelming, seemingly insurmountable task into 5 or 6 weekends. I get so used to doing nothing in the winter that when spring comes around I have to tease myself into action by doing a bit here, and bit there. Piddly bits, as it were.

    As for pulling up trees. I will not miss the black walnut sprouts that cropped up every year like a plague. But our new yard has challenges of its own – poplar trees that spread like stink by underground rhizomes.

    Still another good month before our yard work begins in these parts. In the meantime, I will sit back and enjoy your family’s team work!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Ally Bean says:

    We hire professional landscapers to do our spring clean-up, then maintain everything for the rest of the year. We used to do our own spring clean-up but wised up/got older/gave up on the idea and decided to throw some money at it. So that’s how my spring goes… lazy and expensive!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ally Bean says:

      Should read: “… then WE maintain everything for the rest of the year.” We’re not that lazy to have the property professionally maintained all year. *sheesh*

      Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      I hear ya. We have to have a mower guy come and now and again, Bush hog guy, too. I think it was last year we hired someone to clean the gutters. There’s a lot to do at times, and while I hate the expense, it needs to be done.
      The one I can’t grapple with is the tree trimmer cost. I’m flummoxed by the cost of that.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I was moaning about the state of our back garden , and when I got in from work today, Mr Grump had done a great job tidying it up! Oh I do love it when he is off and I am working, and i can make subtle or not so subtle hints about little chores that need doing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Alice says:

    After reading your post, my spring looks a lot like “super glad I don’t have a yard to tend!” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. marianallen says:

    I’m with the mossy house contingent. Charlie is the Martha Stewart around here; I could live without dusting until the house looked like Miss Havisham’s. He shames me into dusting now and then.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I finally have some patches where I can see the downed branches. I can’t get to them because of the snow banks which in some places are still 4′ high. But, tomorrow Mother Nature has deemed it necessary to drop 5-10″ of fresh snow on us. WTH I’m ready to get out there and clean up, but I’m going to be waiting for a couple more weeks I’m thinking. Enjoy your spring work.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Joanne Sisco says:

    I could relate to all of this … except the “we” part. Sadly, I run solo. It would be so nice to have peons … I mean, willing participants, to share the load.

    It’s still premature to start most outdoor work here, although it was mild enough for me to spend some time this week picking up pine cones. We have a giant tree in our front yard which the city wouldn’t permit us to cut down when we re-landscaped our yard a few years ago.
    Now I’m cursed with mountains of pine cones every spring and throughout the summer when it’s windy outside. Still – it’s not nearly as bad as pulling those hated little tree seedlings every spring. Grrrr.

    Liked by 1 person

    • joey says:

      Pine cones, huh?
      It’s interesting that you were not permitted to cut it down… Do you live in a historical area or is it a bird sanctuary? I don’t know that I’ve ever heard such a thing.
      I’m sorry you go it alone.
      I gotta say, I had a headache last night that became a migraines this morning and I’m not feelin like gettin out there, even though it looks nice and I feel better … not feelin it at all.


      • Joanne Sisco says:

        Toronto requires a permit to remove a tree over a specific size. The homeowner has to apply for a permit and depending on the size of the tree, they can be very expensive.
        We also discovered that getting permit isn’t a guarantee either.
        The fine for removing a tree without a permit can be $10,000 … or more for a developer.

        Toronto set a goal for tree canopy coverage at 40%. It is currently around 20%. A lot of the canopy was destroyed in the ice storm a couple of winters ago and the devastation caused by the Emerald Ash Borer beetle over the past few years.
        Toronto is actually a very green city which is one of the reasons it is such a nice place to live.

        Liked by 1 person

        • joey says:

          Oh now, see, that’s one of those sounds-good-in-theory sorta things. I loooove the idea of maintaining a canopy percentage. I mean, that’s fantastic, and no doubt is this good for the planet and US, and I’m sure it’d make it even more lovely cause I love trees. But here, we have nothing like that.
          Very interesting, Joanne, thank you for explaining 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  23. Ah, let the fun yard stuff begin! This will be the first weekend to mow. At least there are 3 guys in the family to do that. Though I don’t mind too much. Now, we have to fit in going across the state to mow our other two houses. Fun to go see friends and family but makes the spring and summer go really fast. I’m terrible with flowers but I am going to attempt again. lol

    Liked by 1 person

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