I debated doing a One-Liner today, cause you know, I almost always do One-Liner Wednesday.
Is “Well, fuuuuck,” a worthy One-Liner? Nah?
I don’t have organized thoughts right now. I may or may not make sense, but then, you’re accustomed to that, hm? I’ve been feeling poorly since I woke up Monday. Started out with the cold achies, then it turned to achy with fever and weird dry gasping cough. As you can imagine, this has been AWESOME for my anxiety disorder. More herbal tea, please.
In terms of productivity, I voted, I chopped onions for soup, I took the girls to orchestra rehearsal. Beyond that, I’ve been down, in and out of sleep and sick. The rest of my family is picking up my slack. Even Bubba’s pickin up Moo from afters.
I want orange juice and honey and Moo is almost out of milk (!!!) I should have asked The Mister for those things yesterday, but I forgot. But now I’m thirsty again, so I remember. I should text him, but my phone is way over there. He may read this at lunch and pick some up. I have plenty of room in the fridge if any of you are motivated. You’ll have to ring the bell and leave it on the porch, because well, if you don’t know sick me…
Here’s a Control V of my FB status yesterday. I don’t know how to open Paint in this laptop so screen capture didn’t help. I could ask Ms. Laptop, but she’d probably only piss me off. She doesn’t know me. She’s always telling me to ask her to call Violet and I don’t even know Violet. She reminds me she can find music I don’t listen to or sports scores I don’t care about. So yeah, Control V.
i’m sick. like, fever broke at 4 and came back sometime around 9.
anyway, i’ve hydrated and slept. i managed to get to the kitchen, open a bottle of gatorade, AND peel an orange all by myself. obviously that wore me out, so i went back to sleep.
BING-BONG
BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK
some lady with at&t and directv bag.
i open the door.
i do not open the storm door.
she ask me how i am.
*standing there with light-socket, sweat-soaked, poodle hair and stained long underwear* i dunno what my face looks like, but i can tell you i didn’t wash my face last night because delirium does not care about eyeliner.
i say “sick.” she dunno me, i could look like this every day for all she know.
she say she sorry i’m sick and then start her sales pitch. gonna sell me service i have for three times the price. oh boy.
IS IT ME OR SHOULD SHE LOOK FOR THE DIRECTV SATELLITE BEFORE SHE RINGS THE BELL?!?
i cut her off, “no thank you. i have recently renegotiated my directv pricing and i don’t want at&t. at&t suuuucks. people who have at&t come to my house to download.”
she looks at me like I’M rude. like she invent the at&t. like i’m standin on her front porch, botherin her sick ass. i think about opening the storm door and coughing on her. maybe licking her face.
i wave goodbye to her, shut the door.
shoulda invited her in, feigned interest, asked her to heat up some soup for me, THEN coughed on her. i see that now.
So yeah, just drop the goods and run.
Another possible One-Liner:
Moo came to me, “How is my caterpillar?”
“Hm?”
“You’re like a caterpillar in its cocoon!”
“Heh.”

“Maybe you’ll become a beautiful butterfly!”

Yes, I’m sure I will emerge as a beautiful butterfly. The resemblance is uncanny, Moo.
This morning was hard, because sick and cold and Diva Furnace and you know, the impending apocalypse or whatever. I want the results to be fever dream, but the people have spoken. The sheer number of them rings a bell in my sternum, like oh the mindset of our country is much worse than i had expected…so many angry, fearful people…
I am a blue girl in a red state. I am no stranger to feeling odd. My county went blue, and I’ll count that as a victory.
People are talking about who to blame, or what could have been done differently. I see all those points. Still I’m just not into shoulda, coulda, woulda. This happened. This is reality.
The Mister is not terrified or surprised, which is somewhat comforting, and somewhat concerning, cause he is regularly brave and you can only trust the brave so much, always doing crazy brave things. He works in finance, so his day should be busy, interesting. Later he will go to his history classes where I’m sure his professors will be wearing black armbands.
Speculation abounds, and I’m not into that, either. I reckon not enough of America is familiar with the behavior of narcissists. Or maybe they are. Maybe they love a good nuclear winter. I dunno.
I’ve got more than my own share of worries and it does no good to dwell on the possible atrocities beyond the current situation. I mean, I can’t think about stuff that’s months away when I need orange juice right now.
To my fellow head shakers, to those who are heartbroken, devastated, terrified, ashamed, shocked — Let me remind you, we still outnumber them. More people voted against this outcome than for it. This country ain’t gettin white prouder or straighter or more backwoods religious and women still outnumber men.
Remember that progress, even when slow, is inevitable.
I’ve seen a lot of people kicking and screaming the last eight years and I believe this is their last ditch effort to hang on to their concept of America.
We must continue to move forward. We must continue to fight against inequality and fight for inclusion.
The world is still a beautiful place and people (most people) are still really good at heart.
For me, the hardest part of this was breaking the news to my girls this morning. Sassy asked me what happened. I can’t explain it. “Be kind. Love people harder. I love you.”
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