joeyfullystated

Now and again, I mention accents or dialect. I even wrote one post about vernacular and another about the nonsense language in our house, which must surely be a family tradition.

Last night I drank more vodka peach tea than you can shake a stick at. <– Look at that preposition. Look at it!
Who shakes sticks at cocktails?
Okay, I’ve been known to wield a red plastic sword at martinis on occasion.

This mornin, poor Sassy had to put some Vaseline on her “belbow.” Meep.

As for our plans today, we’re fixin to go to the library. I’d write Hrmnr! cause I’m pretty stoked about getting my House of Cards fix, but I don’t know how Sassy spells that word.

I love to play with language. Still, on occasion, I get irritated with bad verbing. Not too often, I’ll correct someone.
“Did you just say tooken? No. There will be no tooken. Ain’t no boughten either.”

I’m not without error and I like to have fun with language, so you’d think I’d have more self-control about it.

We all frequently tell Moo she needs to word better, because we have no idea what she’s goin on about. I think she’s a lot like her daddy.

The Mister likes to do this thing where out of the blue he tells me, “She was there after I was and she said it was the same then.”
If I knew who or where, I might already know what it was like, but I know nothin. Sometimes he gets mad at me that I can’t hear the silent sentences in his head.
I stare blankly at him.
“AMY!”
“At Fort Polk!”
…Obviously, I’m sorry.

I bother him about stuff “he seen” and he’ll make it worse and worse by saying, “I had went o’er yonder and I seen me one of them there doodads…”
Gah.

Recently he took a totally different response route:

“When I got there, they didn’t have it no more.”
“Any more. Gah! Talk like you’re in college.”
“Baby, if I talked like I go to college, you’d hear me whining all the time, ‘You hurt my feelings. I need to go somewhere to be alone with my feelings.’ That’s what college students sound like.”
“Jeez.”
“You have no idea.”

What I derived from his statement is that recent parenting trends encourage coddling children with such jellyfish delicacy that college students simply canna conjugate no more.

Feel free to comment. Srsly. But not too seriously, it is Friday afterall after all after-all. Y’all.