joeyfullystated

I’ve encapsulated our linner chat for you.

“My bowl is special.”
“I see that. Your bowl is orange just for you. My bowl is blue and white for me.”
“Their bowls are blue too.”
“Mine is prettier.”

“Moo, you are way ahead of us.”
“Right? Haven’t even ordered drinks and she’s got the sticks out!”
“When the food arrives Moo will be pluckin it up with sticks and tossin it all in.”

“Take a photo of your happy wife about to eat sushi.”
“Gah! Do you even look at your subject when you take pictures?”
“I was trying to get the food.”
“Yeah, so pretty.”
*contorts lips to mock photo*

“Do you want to share gyoza?”
“Yes, but I want soup.”
“Oh.”
“I’m not sayin I won’t eat some gyoza, but I want soup. Get the gyoza.”

“Ooh, this soup good. Moo, your soup so good?”
“Moo can’t talk right now, she’s sucking her soup down.”
“Can’t even see Moo. Soup cup all up on her face.”
“It’s very good. The good chef is here today.”
“But our favorite waiter isn’t here.”
“No he’s not.”
“I like him.”
“Me too.”
“He’s better than those young girls.”
“He’s professional.”
“Some of those things they wear. I guess I can see how it works with certain groups of men.”
“Huh?”
“The clingy clothes, the low-cut tops.”
“Oh that’s part of the job, Dude. Tips. If him wearin that stuff got him bigger tips, you bet he would.”
“But he doesn’t have to, cause he’s a man.”
“Right.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Nope.”

“Coke.”
“Coke.”
“Coke.”
“Coke.”

“What’s gyoza?”
“Dumplings.”
“What’s in them?”
“Meat.”
“Mmm, kinda meat?”
“Pork.”
“I like pork.”
*cuts gyoza in half*
“Spicy sauce good.”
“These are so much better than Sushi House.”
“They’re put together better, for one.”

“I still miss shrimp sauce.”
“Oh my God! Shrimp sauce! I miss shrimp sauce!”

“I want chicken fried rice. I know it’s a five-dollar bowl of rice, but I want it. If you want I’ll eat the three-dollar bowl of regular fried rice, but I promise to eat it this time.”
“You know that like, a ten-pound bag of rice is only about twelve dollars, right?”
“Yes, but I love fried rice!”
“Yet you don’t eat fried rice at Chinois. Hmm. Racist much?”
“No.”
“Order the chicken fried rice. Live your dreams.”

“So we want mistake rolls, yeah?”
[Whole table clamors.]
“And volcano rolls?”
“And spicy tuna? I like spicy tuna. Moo likes spicy tuna.”
“I want California rolls!”
“Okay.”

“You forgot to order her rice. I’ll do it.”

“This is a band called the Police. You may know the front man.”
“If a bee is mad at you…”
“I know Sting.”
“You know of Sting from Friends. Do you actually know Sting?”
“We don’t know him personally, no.”
“They know some of the music, they just don’t know it’s him.”
“What do you know of Sting?”
“Fields of Gold and None of Us are Free.”
“They surely know Roxanne. That gets played a lot.”
“It’s no use, she sees him…”
“Everybody now!”
[The old people rock out a bit.]
“That book by Nabokov…”
“The Police.”
“Uh, okay.”

“I like the regular red soy sauce. God only knows what they put in or take out to reduce the sodium in the other.”
“Like the milk fat.”
“Yes, just like the milk fat. Let’s take out the good-for-you fats and give you extra sugar! Then we’ll tell you whole milk causes obesity!”
“And make you drink white water.”
“I can’t even.”

“Why is there always ginger?!? Who eats this shit?”
“I guess some people like ginger.”
“Ginger ale.”
“I like ginger ale.”

“It’s not as sticky as it should be.”
“Haha.”
“Dirty.”
“Shame-shame. Sassy likes it when we talk about the shame-shame.”

“You all hold your chopsticks differently.”
“Just do what feels natural.”
“I’m not good at it.”
“I’ve been using them since I was ten. You’ll get good at it.”
“It took Daddy a long time too.”
“I…I cannot.”
“Use your fork.”
“But then I look like a dork. Remember when they gave us the kind that were tied together?”
“Yes, but you were little then. Now you’re big.”
*chopstick calamity*
“Use your fork. When the choice is make a big mess or use a fork, go with the fork.”
“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

“Nope, I do not like that.”
“Don’t eat it.”
“No one’s forcing you to eat it.”

“Don’t count. Eat.”

“What’s in the volcano roll?”
“I dunno. Stuff.”
“Yeah, like what?”
“I dunno. Good stuff.”
“Is it like spicy tuna?”
“I. don’t. know.”
“Well you always know stuff.”

“Stop it! That one is little! That one is mine!”

“I have a drinking problem. You can bring me two more, and I will drink them. You don’t have to keep coming back. I will always be out of drink.”

“Do you want that last one?”
“Go ahead Moo.”
“Okay, cause I don’t like that other one. These are cooling. Are they cooling, Mama?”
“Yes.”
“I told you they’re cooling.”

“Be careful with that, you have to put the whole thing in all at once or it will fall apart. It’s held together with magic and seaweed.”

“I want this one, but it’s too big.”
“Is it? Is it too big?”
“Haha.”
“I have faith in you Baby, you can fit it in. I’ve seen you take in bigger.”
“Haha.”
“Go on Baby, I’m watchin. Yeah, Baby.”
“Now you just hafta swallow!”
“Haha!”
“Oh my God, no, my virgin ears!”
“Shh, you guys, Moo’s gonna choke.”
“Moo is choking on laughter and her teeth are orange!”
“Those you spicy orange teeth? That you favorite color?”
“Shh, no really, we need to let her chew.”
“I looked up and Moo’s teeth were all orange and gross!”
“Orange you happy your teeth are orange?”
“Her mouth is small. The sushi is big. The struggle is real!”
“Quick! Eat all the sushi while she’s laughing!”

“Remember that other sushi place? Bubba was with us.”
“That was here. In another room.”
“Oh.”

“I hate when I gag on the sushi.”
“We all do.”
“But it’s so good.”
“Mhm.”
“I don’t know why it has to be so big.”

“What’re those lil round things we used to eat at Sushi House?”
“Dumplings. I don’t remember what they’re called. Lemme think.”

“More ginger?!? Really?!?”
“Tell us how you really feel about the ginger.”
*hisses*
“Oh look! More wasabi!”

“Did you forget your sushi is in there? Is it swimmin?”
“Yes. I like to let it soak.”

“Shumai. They’re called shumai. S-H-U-M-A-I.”
“See? You always know stuffs and fings.”

“Never was a cloudy day…”
“Septembah!”
[Three people dance in their seats.]
“Who’s this?”
“Earth Wind and Fire.”
“Elements. Heh.”

“Would you care for dessert?”
“Oh Lord no.”

Happy Friday Everyone!