Still hate the block editor, not gonna lie. It keeps me from posting even when I think about posting, which isn’t all too often. I do have over 100 drafts saved.
Let’s see, what’s new with me? Ally Bean asked me that, and I kinda gotta say, nothin. Nothin is new. But y’all haven’t read me in over a year, so sure, somethin may well be new to you.
I am a much less anxious person than when I started this blog. I believe that the blog helped, the readers especially, thank you, and that also, this healing likely contributes to my lack of blogging. My mind is overall less… crowded? I do still sometimes freak out in large shopping venues, but I am aware it’s because I have anxiety disorder and I generally believe I will make it out alive. I am no longer forced to play pretend like I’m some normal cookie-cutter mom while mingling with other parents from schools, and that helps me retain energy. I still don’t like driving, especially in the rain, especially in the rain at night, but I manage, for I am very brave. I have long hated roundabouts and this did not improve when, in February, some asshat crashed his truck into Blanche as we roundabouted. I do still absolutely avoid roundabouts whenever possible, and I feel no shame in turning right to avoid turning left.
My office is 10-15 minutes away WHEN OUR ENTIRE CITY IS NOT UNDER CONSTRUCTION AND MY RAMP IS OPEN, but at present, it’s 25-40 in a congested hellscape. I drive like I’m trying to stay alive and intact from place to place and I am not convinced everyone else is. In my mind, they’re in a car chase movie scene, in labor, or about to shit their pants?
I am presently an empty-nester. I say presently, because you never can tell. We have lived with my in-laws on two separate occasions. Remember that summer Bubba lived in our living room?
Anyway, our house is clean and it’s quiet and all those people who said preposterous things like, “You’ll miss this when they’re gone” were simply wrong. We do miss the kids, which is why we spend time with them, but then we return to, or are again, back in our clean and tidy, quiet little home. All the good chi are belong to us.
The Mister had our old red van towed away. We rented a dumpster. We damn near filled the dumpster. If you have never had the pleasure of throwing and breaking things into a dumpster, I mean, give yourself this gift! Cathartic.as.fuck. The Mister began assembling a home gym in the garage. I gave my bathroom a makeover and then gave the big bathroom a makeover. I repainted the living room. The Mister built bookshelves. I painted those, too. We painted Sassy’s old room to suit Moo. The Mister hung window cornices in our bedroom. He gave me the ENTIRE closet. We bought more blackout curtains. I got one of those light up clocks that tells my brain to wake up before the alarm and it works! We bought a cat tree and our cats don’t use it. We had fiber optic internet installed. Then we moved The Mister’s desk into the “spare” room so he has an official office space. I’ll paint it Someday.
Next year, my efforts will be outside in our yard, now more commonly known as The Land that Time Forgot.
The Mister and I have taken a handful of long weekends and day trips. Packing for these couple travels truly makes me giddy. Flash to me, with my one bag!
Otherwise, The Mister and I are fond of lazy weekend days built around the scheduled nothingness we relish.
We remain enamored with our spawn who now range 19-30. Like they’re now so self-sufficient, we’re fucking honored when asked to teach or advise them. Bubba took a rather big boy job downtown – I really don’t know. IT something. He bought himself an adventure bike, and spends a fair amount of time camping and hiking. He also built a guitar from scratch. Growing up with three sisters was so terrible, his only respite is living with two women. Sissy remains distant, about a thousand miles away, literally and figuratively, but reports wellness of all. Sassy left uni and took an apartment she likes and a job she does not like. She is enjoying being young and free. I was never a wild young person, but still I reserve judgment, because many of my friends were are were-are wild whereas I am fully acclimated to being uncool and apologizing for being square. Moo is still at uni and has narrowed her course of study to audiology. She works as a researcher in her department. We’re pretty stoked since none of us are doctors and The Mister’s selective hearing skills only grow better with age.
My own career path has been chaotic and floopy, not unlike my early romantic life. People who have dated and worked longer than me, do you think there’s a plausible theory here? Fun but going nowhere, toxic maybe even abusive, charming to the point of disillusionment. A lil woo n pitch, a lil bait n switch. Navigate and course correct. Silent conversations with yourself about how no amount of flowers and jewelry make it all okay. I see these things similarly. I’ve been at my present job a year this month and it feels like marriage material.
On that note, apparently this period of my life rivals my mid-twenties in terms of weddings. Love is in the air! Many of our friends are recently wed or engaged. I find their happiness contagious! We celebrated 24 years in August and what I remember about that day is that neither of us could finish dessert, but oh, there are a million memories going back, back, back to 1987.
Save this spot.
joeyfullystated 
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