Kiddie Pools: Fun to Read About?

When you live in Georgia, you buy kiddie pools. Sure, a few Indiana years, my kids had kiddie pools, but in Georgia, it was essential.

See, in Indiana, when it’s 90 degrees, we sit in the shade and let the kids run through the sprinkler. We eat watermelon and snow cones — all that summer stuff and whatnot — but when it gets to be 105 with 87% humidity, people here generally stay in. If you did that in Georgia, you’d miss half the year. So yeah, kiddie pools every year. We also went to the neighborhood pool, and the post pool, and the beach. I now own more beach towels than is reasonable for a Hoosier.

Since we lived at The Palace of Rules last summer, we didn’t have a kiddie pool. Moo almost died. Having lived in Georgia for as long as she can remember, Moo now believes that kiddie pools are an essential aspect of childhood, and she neeeeeds a pool pronto. She’s also pretty bummed about how the ocean is several states away, but we all have our own crosses to bear.

who doesn't love dory?

who doesn’t love dory?

The last summer we were in Georgia, our pool was a hard plastic pool, but William had a big soft plastic pool, and his pool was all the rage. It was made clear to me that we neeeeed a pool like William’s.

the pool i have ordered, LIKE WILLIAM'S

the pool i have ordered, LIKE WILLIAM’S

My friend Brown Eyes LuLu sent me a link for a pool like William’s. I read the reviews this morning, and I could not get over how DUMB people are.

First of all, let’s laugh at all the people who think the pool itself is what makes the water slimy after a few days. Then let’s laugh at all the people who think halfa cuppa bleach in 300 gallons of water will poison their children. Then let’s laugh at all the people who think those floating chemical tablets are even more toxic than halfa cuppa bleach. And then let’s laugh at the fact that all these people have been in insidious slimy in-ground pools filled with chlorine or bromine, plus algae killers, and the occasional floating chemical tablet.

It’s a soft sided pool, meaning, the interior water pressure keeps the sides up. An unbelievable number of people do not understand this concept. A lot of people didn’t even attempt to put water into it, because the sides wouldn’t stay up, and a great deal more never filled it, because the sides wouldn’t stay up.
It’s not a magic pool, y’all.

cannot be shipped to your house for $14.88

cannot be shipped to your house for $14.88

Someone even complained that she had to stand there for 20 minutes waiting for the pool to fill up. This person must be young, childless royalty. I mean, just imagine 20 wasted minutes of your life, waiting for a pool to fill up! There have been times in my life I have stood there for 20 minutes waiting for a kid to pee in a cup, so I thank my lucky stars for the training and preparation I’ve been given to deal with this pool!

Then, pardon me, but if you’re using the pool as a place to grow tree frogs or baby chicks, if you’re using it as a ball pit, or to plant a vegetable garden in, you cannot rate the pool with one star, and tell us what a sucky pool it is.

not intended for shark containment

not intended for shark containment

And I’m sorry, but this pool was reviewed by people whose pets used it. A German Shepherd, a pair of Rottweilers, and a Coon Hound all used this pool without incident. One woman used it for an entire summer at her home daycare with eight kids, but you, the mommy of one human, have written, “hard plastic pools aren’t as easily destroyed by active children!” Your child is more destructive than other peoples’ hundred-pound dogs?!? Oh my Dog, I almost spit out my coffee.

 

 

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

Verdant

If you have paid any attention to me since I started this blog, you’ve probably come to the conclusion that I hate to be hot, and you would be correct. Warm weather’s most redeeming quality is its production of pretty and tasty plants.

I sit on my porch, shaded from the sun. Warm breezes swirl around me. I close my eyes and listen to the wind through the trees. I open my eyes and watch the birds and squirrels frolicking, squawking, eating. My neighbor’s enormous lilac bushes and our peonies combine to permeate the air with the sticky sweet smell of Summer on its way.

Cottonwood seeds, or summer snow, falls from the sky.

summersnow
The cottonwood seeds billow about, dancing by, landing anywhere, everywhere.

like on one of my hydrangeas

like on one of my hydrangeas

The grass, the entire landscape, can only be described as verdant.

so many ferns

so many ferns

 

cornflower

cornflower

 

 

rhododendron

rhododendron

 

peonies

peonies

 

roses

roses

first one unfurled today

first one unfurled today

 

clematis

clematis

and yes, i did add some potted geraniums

and yes, i did add some potted geraniums

hostas galore, overload of lily-of-the-valley, more ferns...

hostas galore, overload of lily-of-the-valley, more ferns…

I was describing our soil to a Georgia friend the other day, since she noticed all the grass, and even better, no clay. Our soil here is Miami soil, natural loam. After years of sand and clay, it feels so good to slide a spade into that dark, rich soil. It smells fantastic. I talk to the worms, carrying them to my new divisions, “You’ll like it better over here. Plenty to do.”

I can only say how honored I am to live here.

You never know what you have until it’s gone. How lucky am I to get it back?

 

Posted in Personally | Tagged , , | 26 Comments

Random Musings of the Unamused

I’m kinda feisty lately.

My spidey-senses are keen. My bullshit threshold is low, as is my ability to give fucks. My eye rolls are exceptional.

almost as good as lucille's

almost as good as lucille’s

It’s likely related to hormones, because I also think Cocoa Krispies are incredible and I think it would be fun to have a party where everyone brings mashed potatoes and a different kind of gravy…

good gravy!

good gravy!

 

Or maybe not a party. Maybe everyone could simply place the mash and gravy upon the porch, like an offering to the grumpy goddess, and back away slowly.

look, i'm not the first person to think of it

look, i’m not the first person to think of it

People should not arrive at my house at 9am without notice.

ferreal

ferreal

 

Have I ever mentioned how nice it is that the front of the house and the back of the house are largely soundproof from one another? True. Can’t hear the house phone or the doorbell from the bedrooms.
Sorry, not sorry.

you rang?

you rang?

If you can wake us up from the front of the house, you’ll prolly wake the whole neighborhood and the police, so be sure to bring LOTSA coffee, mk?

I kinda hate holidays. All you people suddenly want strawberries and tomatoes for your holiday food, when in reality, the rest of us buy them all the damn time, and we do not appreciate your holiday zeal.

some of us just eat the fruit, without artistic or patriotic demonstration you know

some of us just eat the fruit, without artistic or patriotic demonstration you know

Moo doesn’t want homemade chicken & noodles tonight. She made herself some ramen, and then proceeded to tell me WHY she doesn’t like homemade chicken & noodles. I’m not sure I like her anymore…

i will eat all my chickynoonoo like a good girl

i will eat all my chickynoonoo like a good girl

The Mister has worked a terrible shift this weekend. 0430-1730. Isn’t that rotten?!?
It’s particularly rotten when you’re a one-car family and Simon is graduating three hours away.

yay simon!

yay simon!

My hair looks good.

I think I’ll go make myself a cocktail.

I’ll take a picture for you.
Not of the hair. The cocktail.

yeah, i sipped before i clicked

yeah, i sipped before i clicked, can you blame me? non

Cheers!

Posted in Personally | Tagged , , | 35 Comments

GoFundMYWHOLELIFE

Now and again, my friends post links to “GoFundMe” for valid reasons.

Well, that’s subjective, isn’t it? Yes, the whole concept is subjective.

How GoFundMe works: Someone needs money for something, so they set up a donation platform, and people can donate to their cause. Because you know, if they have one hundred friends who give them $5, then they have $500 for their cause. That’s groovy, except that some people will ask you to fund their whole lives, and they’ll ask you over and over and over, even posting the link in emails, on social media, and calling to ask if you saw the links, as if the rest of us don’t have things that pop up and cost us money, or like we don’t have unfulfilled desires because of money…

Well, People, We DO.

I will not mention which GoFundMe’s I have seen that strike me as uncouth, because you know, I like my friends to sit around and worry that I think their fundraising subjects are beneath me…
For instance, some of the causes sound like, “In lieu of gifts, the bride and groom request cash.” (Yes, I have seen that, embossed on 100lb paper, no less.)

LOL-Cat

Anyway, I’ll share my own, which I have only ever ranted about with my pets.

“Go Fund Me, I still have two more kids that need braces!”

“Go Fund Me, I have a hole behind my bathroom mirror!”

“Go Fund Me, I want an extension ladder! and a tree pruner! and a snow blower! and a leaf vacuum!”

“Go Fund Me, my fence is in need of repair and expansion!”

“Go Fund Me, we’d love to be a two-car family!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d like my mortgage paid off!”

“Go Fund Me, the state of Indiana said we OWE!”

“Go Fund Me, we wanna go visit HME next month!”

“Go Fund Me, vehicle registration is expensive!”

“Go Fund Me, I want prescription sunglasses!”

“Go Fund Me, the air conditioning in our van went out AGAIN!”

“Go Fund Me, I wanna buy the lot next door and build a greenhouse!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d like to go to grad school!”

“Go Fund Me, one of the diamonds in my wedding band fell out!”

“Go Fund Me, Sassy needs summer clothes AGAIN!”

“Go Fund Me, I have expensive taste in handbags!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d like to take a pastry course!”

“Go Fund Me, I want new flooring!”

“Go Fund Me, I still haven’t seen Ireland!”

“Go Fund Me, I want The Back 40 tilled!”

“Go Fund Me, my ice maker’s broken!”

“Go Fund Me, I want a deep freeze!”

“Go Fund Me, my apple trees need to be topped!”

“Go Fund Me, plumbing emergencies are outrageously expensive!”

“Go Fund Me, I love caviar!”

“Go Fund Me, I’d rather spend your money than my own!”

If y’all people wanna fund any of that, or just want to pay a fair amount for the snarky laughter I gave you, I’ll be happy to give you my Paypal, just use the Contact Me tab at the top of this blog.
Otherwise, I’ll be forced to sacrifice things and save money, like some kinda fuckin pleb.

Posted in Personally | Tagged , | 28 Comments

“I have this coupon for halfa brain…”

Some of my friends are Couponing. You’ve seen the Extreme Coupon people on television, right? I’ve never watched the shows, but I’ve seen bits about it. They leave the store with carts and carts of products, and then they pay eleven cents, or sometimes, the store pays them.
Do you ever really look at what’s in the cart? Not dinner, that’s fersure. This photo is pretty good, because cheese, eggs and juice are nutritious.

this cost $13.34

this cost $13.34

My friends come home with a dozen packages of toilet paper for a dollar. Or a pile of deodorants, shave cream, and toothbrushes for less than five dollars.

I’m like, “Neat-o.”

whoa, how many vitamins do you take?

whoa, how many vitamins do you take?

One of my friends coupons for fun, and her hoards get donated to shelters, the elderly in the community, and local food banks.

I’m like, “Awesome!”

holy processed food, yo!

holy processed food, yo!

MIL has a friend who brings her all the buy-one-get-ones. In the garage at The Palace of Rules, you will find shelves of food, like a convenience store. Chicken broth, cream of chicken, piles of ramen, condiments, canned veggies, boxes of cake mix, cereals, cookies. You gotta check the dates, that’s all I’m sayin.

and then everyone in the house begins to hate frosted flakes...

and then everyone in the house begins to hate frosted flakes…

I do not have space for this.
I can get down with Couponing if you’re actually going to use the product, otherwise, unused items in your space are just clutter. Clutter you spent both time and money to accumulate, that you must clean and organize, and y’all know how I feel about Feng Shui. I do not need fifty bottles of shampoo cloggin up my chi. Toothpaste expires. A lot of stuff expires, check that shit out.

I’ll admit that since we are a predominately female household, we could likely use 300 boxes of tampons for $6, but they will not fit in the drawer of the vanity, and I am unlikely to add a tampon room.

I love when diced tomatoes are twenty cents a can — I’ll buy ten cans of them.

I buy the ten pound bags of rice.

I buy 28oz cans of veggies and fruits. They cost less than standard size, ferreal.

Sometimes the commissary holds sidewalk sales, and I will buy canned veggies in bulk, or giant bottles of honey.

We have a membership to the wholesale place, but very rarely go. Because you really need someone to take half of the five pounds of celery and whatnot…

Just the other day, the hardware store was selling 7-Up at $1.23 a bottle or $1.46 for a six-pack of bottles, and I was like, “Hmm…That’s a good deal. But do I want bottles of 7-Up? Do I?” Yeah, no, I don’t.

I love store coupons and I belong to all the “clubs.”
I use those $10 off your next purchase of $75 or more coupons that come out with your receipt.
I cut a lot more coupons when I had four kids at home, but I was never so poor that I thought sixty bottles of mustard for $8 would help me save money.

— I don’t go to Gymboree to buy clothes my child does not need because I have a coupon for 30% off, nor do I buy twenty bottles of Tums because I have a buy-one-get-one, and that’s how lines between saving money and wasting money are drawn.

People without cats, buying cat food. Bald people stockpiling conditioner. I can’t imagine.

 

diapers are a good item to stockpile, IF YOU HAVE A BABAY

diapers are a good item to stockpile, IF YOU HAVE A BABY!

Did you ever wonder why you went to CVS to take advantage of the sale on toothbrushes and they were all gone? Because some Extreme Couponer done bought up all 80 of em!
Ever wonder why on earth your store is out of your brand of bacon at 10am? Extreme Couponers.
No apple juice in the whole store?!?
How can there be no apple juice left?!?
I can’t get a pint of cream, because some hoarder got them free with the purchase of MY BACON? That cream will no doubt rot in her fridge before she can use it all.
So much so, stores have set more limits and are cutting back coupon offers.

I cut the occasional coupon, and I grab the ones under the display when I can. I have never even considered Extreme Couponing, because there’s a problem with coupons…

THEY ARE ALMOST NEVER FOR THINGS YOU NEED!

never

never

It’s all about processed food. Packaged, frozen, canned, cupped, boxed and bagged. Well, I don’t buy much processed food.

Why aren’t there coupons for fresh salad greens, carrots, celery, potatoes, onions, green beans, cantaloupe, grapes, apples, bananas, or cloves of garlic?

Where is my coupon for $5 off my water bill? — Or my gas bill, I’m not picky!

How about buy one brisket, get the second at half price?

Should anyone really have one hundred boxes of Kraft mac n’ cheese? Really?

Where can I get a coupon for five half gallons of organic milk?

Excuse me, but I have yet to find coupons for flour or sugar!

Are there any for half a grass-fed cow?

Hey, can I bring one kid in for shots and get the next kid’s shots for free?

How about buy fencing, get the labor for free?

No, thank you, I don’t need six bottles of nail polish for a dollar, but I could sure use six bottles of wine for that price!

It’s a bit of a trick. The coupons only save you money on things you would buy and use regardless of coupons. Buying things just because there are coupons actually wastes your money.
You have a coupon for gnocchi in a box, and the next thing you know, you suddenly think you love gnocchi in a box. But really, you don’t. No one does.

picky-girl
How long would it take a person to use eight bottles of Murphy’s oil soap? I ask, because I’m on my third bottle in roughly sixteen years…

I use vinegar to clean most things.

Can I have all your vinegar coupons? You only find them around Easter, and then they’re only for the small glass bottles, but I’ll take em.

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged , , , , , | 29 Comments

Updates

I finally gave MIL her resurrected calla lily.
You know what? She didn’t seem particularly pleased at all.
*shrugs* I dunno.

calla
The Mister finished the semester with a 3.6 GPA. I’m so pleased for him! That’s a great accomplishment for anyone who goes to school full-time while working full-time, let alone while having a family! I think the summer sessions will be even better, because he’ll have two days without work or school, wherein last semester he only had one. He has never lacked dedication, that’s fersure!
High grade point averages are hot.

smart

Sadie’s been spending considerable time in the back yard while I work in the garden. Saturday, she startled me by barking from the gate. And just look what she brought me.

squirrel.killer

She’s always proud to have killed a squirrel. Her humans are always conflicted.

Oh no, you caught a squirrel!

Yay you caught a squirrel!

So mostly, we just stand there, silently staring at them both. It’s her nature, of course. She takes great pride in delivering her squirrels. But, oh, we wish she didn’t. Good dog. See what I mean?
I was asked if it was Chubby, and it’s not, but it’s only a matter of time, really.
We have a veritable squirrel graveyard in The Back 40.

According to our schedule, what with Monday being Memorial Day, today was the last bus stop day. I realize I never fully explained the drama of the bus stop situation, and I don’t know if I ever will, but you are so happy for us. We will enjoy those two months of not standing alongside the busy thoroughfare hoping some bus, any bus really, stops to pick up the children between between seven and eight o’clock. I have never encountered such a clusterfuck of school transportation in my life, and I am so glad it’s over! I’m sure next year will be better. If not, I will blog about it. Next year will be better, RIGHT?!?

bus3

I used the power drill to hang this shelf, all by myself.

turtle: bubba, age 7 bird: moo, age 5 bowls: bubba, moo, sassy, bubba, bubba, moo

turtle: bubba, age 7
bird: moo, age 5
bowls: bubba, moo, sassy, bubba, bubba, moo  — i dunno why sissy never did make a bowl…

It only took me 90 minutes. I measured about forty-five thousand times. I am so proud. It has toggle bolts and everythin! My friends were all so proud. The Mister was like, “Cool. What’s fer dinner?”

And yes, I did finally finish sanding that back hallway. I painted it a lovely shade of soft yellow, called Honey Bear. No, I haven’t painted the trim yet, because I’m suffering from there-are-six-doors-in-that-hallway procrastination!

Posted in Personally | Tagged , , , , , | 22 Comments

From Where I Walk

I joined Instagram last month, (you can follow me here) so I could participate in the “Photo a Day” challenges. The version of me on Instagram is like the version of me on sports, in that I’m having a good time, but you don’t want me on your team. I enjoy the photo challenges, but I’m not a great photographer. Also, I missed a day already, which is a lot like failing to return the serve.

I have two friends (krudeforth & retamckelvey) who take stunning photos, and their Instagram accounts are worth checking out. In case you happen to find yourself in England this month, Kevin actually has an exhibition at a pub in Kingston Upon Hull.

My exhibitions, per se, are not particularly photogenic, and largely involve the running of my mouth. While looking at pictures of myself, I find I am most often talking, laughing, or eating, which does indeed tell a thousand words, or at least this many: My mouth is never shut, I love red lipstick, I am indeed an epicurean, I almost always wear white, and my face is always some shade of pink.
I like that Instagram has me BEHIND the camera.

This is a photo I took today.

maple1

May Photo A Day 15. From Where I Walk

 

It’s part of the mess of Spring. I had been describing the mess of Spring to Luanne, failing miserably by talking about the red bits and the propeller thingies that fall from the Maples. I told her I would take a photo and find the proper words for them.

The seed pod propeller thingies that come off of Maple trees are called samaras, although they are also called propellers, helicopters, and whirlygigs. The important thing about propellers is that you must get them all up off the ground, because wherever they find a place to grow, they will try to grow, and I do not want to live in a forest!
The red bits are buds that fall from our Red Maple.
Also included in this photo, at no extra charge to you, are the grass clippings and twigs that get blown onto my patio.

What can I say, my lawn debris is marvelous, and never-ending!

Posted in Personally | Tagged , , , | 28 Comments

She Watches Me

One of the many things I love about my house is that it’s a bungalow. Even our tiny first apartment was on the second floor.
First things first, it’s awfully nice not to tote laundry baskets up and down the stairs.

My bedroom being on the first and only floor is a great blessing. In the summer, my view is a series of hibiscus, in various shades of blooming pinks, and a bit of fence. No matter the season, from my bed, I see the tops of trees.

Sometimes the moon appears. She’s merely a white light in my sheers, but she captivates me. I know she’s inconsistent, with her comings and goings from my window frame, but still she comforts me. As I lie prone, I watch her watching over me, and I can’t help but think how kind.

not my photo, but exactly how it would look if i had photography skills

this is not my photo, but it is exactly how it would look if i had ample photography skills

 

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Just Another Day

This Mother’s Day is weird.

Where should I begin?

Last night, Sassy gave me a one-armed penguin made of papier-mache, a painting of an owl, and a marigold wilting in a milk carton. Life is strange like that. Very sweet, if a bit odd.

marigold

I packed a box for my mother, and waited til I baked Challah bread to slip a loaf in, but when I went to the post office on Thursday, the man told me it wouldn’t arrive til Monday. For the cost of three hardback books, he could get it there on Friday. Saturday and Sunday were not an option, so it won’t be there til Monday. Kinda sad for my mother. Really wish I’d skipped the bread and got it to her yesterday, instead.

challah
Meanwhile, my mother’s parcel for me arrived Wednesday, because she’s got almost 30 years on me and she has a more realistic view of how the mail works…

omg, an actual photo!

yes, i cropped my father out, but it IS mother’s day!

I had a gift hand-crafted for MIL, but there were shipping issues with the materials, so that won’t be here until maybe mid-week, either.
The calla lily resurrection continues, as it unfurls and new pips pop up here and there. No blooms yet, though.

lily2
Doesn’t matter too much though, because MIL has gone to her mother’s for the weekend.

Bonus: No one to take Moo to church means I got to sleep in.

In theory.
My girls woke me up this morning, to give me a food and spa menu. Moo stopped to snuggle awhile.

oh girls, the irony...

oh girls, the irony…

Upon arrival to the kitchen, I was pleased to find that Sassy has returned five million dishes from her bedroom to the sink, no one threw away the oatmeal packets, the cereal container lingered on the counter, milk spilled here and there, toaster’s left out, little chocolate syrup dribbled on the counter…

Just another day, hmm?

As soon as I strode into the living room with my coffee, the fighting began.
“Could you just not fight today? Cause that’d be super.”

Just another day, hmm?

Oh look, she’s got dishes in the living room, too…

Just another day, hmm?

The Mister works a long shift today, so there’s no way for him to stop the madness.

It’s supposed to be raining today, dammit!
I want to get out there and level the ground under my raised beds, and fill them, so I can plant my seedlings and start a new crop of seedlings. I would like to not be hot (I know there’s plenty of that comin) and I would like soft ground.
Apparently it won’t start raining until around 6 this evening. Greeeaaat.
(And that’s if the meteorologist isn’t lying, like he did Friday and Monday and Thursday.)

Sissy text me greetings, the boy one prolly isn’t even awake yet.

Anyway, this day doesn’t feeeel like Mother’s Day. It feels like just another day, but with the subtle touch of disappointment.

drunk22
BUT, it’s all in how we react to a situation, so lemme tell you how today’s gonna go down: These girls are gonna clean up their messes and do some chores. That will please me. I think they’ll enjoy honoring their mother by emptying trash baskets and loading the dishwasher and sweeping the kitchen and then maybe later I’ll dabble into that spa menu.

Next year, I might should create a list of demands…

In the morning, you will lie in wait in the hallway, just like the dog. When I begin to stir, you will be ready to present me with a hot cuppa coffee. You will not watch television while I’m in the living room. You will not speak to your sister unless it’s with kindness. You will clean every mess you see. You will be as good at spotting messes as you are at spotting spiders. You will pretend to enjoy cleaning. You will be pleasant and polite all day. You will make it rain when I am ready to work in the garden. When your father gets home, you will immediately feel completely tuckered out and bid us goodnight. You will fall fast asleep before Game of Thrones actually starts, and will not get out of bed for water, for ice, for potty, for more cuddles, or for a band-aid for your boo boo that’s actually pink paint. 

Posted in Personally | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments

Surprise, Irises!

I didn’t plant irises.
There’s one by the door of the shed and four on the corner of it.

sue_iris
Sue said she loves irises, so this one is hers.

*wonders what else she will discover this year*

Posted in Random Musings | Tagged | 11 Comments